Mr. Clean

I've been trying to get the apartment somewhat presentable today. It's amazing how fast everything gets dirty. How do moms do it? Well, this weekend was fun. One of the highlights was getting a mattress out of the dumpster and taking it on campus to try and slide down the hill by the library. It didn't slide. At all. But, it was still fun. Yesterday, I went to church and it felt good knowing that I won't have to work another Sunday. I am a member of the Sunday School Presidency, the only member, so I was worried that I would be in charge of the class even thought the word on the street was that the other ward was in charge. Luckily serving a mission taught me how to make up a lesson on the spot. During sacrament meeting I looked up a few scriptures and was ready to do whatever would be necessary. I was off the hook though, because someone else had prepared a lesson for the class. I don't even know if we have any Sunday school teachers that haven't moved, so until the ward gets reorganized, I might just go ahead and prepare a backup lesson every week. Last night we played, Betrayel : house on the Hill ( or something like that). Chelsea and I were eaten by a cannibal zombie. That's a shame.

A clean toilet is a happy toilet.

I laughed at myself a lot at work today. Here I am. Four years older and four years wiser, back at the Smith Fieldhouse cleaning toilets. The crews are collections of severely socially awkward individuals. I fit right in. :) One of them took it upon himself to train me in not only how to sweep and clean toilets, but also how to read the newspaper on my break and how to use the vending machine! I paid very close attention to everything he said as if I were completely clueless and needed his guidance. We'll get along fine if I don't blow up and scream, "You Don't Have To Tell Me How To Use A Water Fountain!!!!!" I love it. For the most part I can just think and keep to myself. Today Brad Wilcox was giving some inspirational talk for Education Week while I was sweeping the stairs. I listened in and enjoyed the part of the talk I heard. It was more directed to youth under the age of 18, but I got something out of it too. Apparently he is a well known LDS speaker, but I only know him because he was the mission president of the East mission in Santiago, and I would see him from time to time in the central office. I paid tuition and it looks like I'll barely have enough money to pay this months rent. Now all these paychecks need to go toward paying off my credit card. Right now I'm just hoping to break even by the end of the semester. The combination of not working for a month, and flying to Texas and Chile really dug me into a hole, but it was completely worth it. I got to be reminded of what I used to really care about. In the mission, memorizing sriptures was fun! Studying Jacob 5 was practically Disneyland! Sure, that's a slight exaggeration, but exaggeration can be a great literary tool according to my English teacher that obviously had a crush on me. I also got to see that even though the memory of me is quickly fading away in Chile, the things that I did made a difference and continue to do so. More people are being baptized. People are serving missions. The map of Melipilla that I made three years ago is still being used by the missionaries. It doesn't matter if I'm remembered or not. It's not about me. Well, enough rambling. Good Night.

Back to work

I set a new personal record today. I started looking for work around 9 O'clock this morning and I was hired at the smith fieldhouse tonight at 8:30. I've already begun looking for my "real" job now too. The lab in Springville isn't hiring anymore. Bummer. I haven't found much in my field yet. That's why I got this custodial job. I know it might take a while to find the perfect place of employment. I ended up not going into the lab today because a friend called and I talked to her on the phone for a couple hours, and then when I went to take a shower, there wasn't any water. So I did the only logical thing. I gave up on the day and went back to sleep. I give the day plenty of chances to do a hip hop dance, but if it doesn't pull through LOOK OUT.

....... ... .... .. all the wrong places.

While in Chile I couldn't wait to get back home, but now that I'm here, I want to go back. I feel really weird this morning. I need to work. I'm a worker. I feel great when I'm being paid for providing some service. If feels good that someone is willing to let me work for them and give me money. It means acceptance. It means stability and constance. I'm going crazy right now. I think I'm going to try and say good bye to my social life. I saw that there's an opening at the Smith Field House 8-midnight shift. This way I can go to class, do my homework while everyone else is working, and work when everyone else is having fun and being distracted from their homework. Between school, the lab, and work, I won't have time for anything else. It sounds great. I'll also have Sundays off. My bishop may actually know who I am this year.

I can't start working soon enough. I can't go into the lab until one and I can't apply for this job until four. What am I going to do until then!?!? I know. I'm gunna jump on my bed. That's right. You read correctly. Jump....on.....my....bed. Ha! There's nothing anyone can do to stop me! By the time anyone reads this it will be too late! TOO LATE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

The big city.

I'll try to make this quick because I have to meet someone soon. Why did I say that if I'm in a hurry? If I'm in a hurry I should get straight to the point shouldn't I. Oh.. ok. So, I was waiting at a bus stop in the Central Plaza of Maipu around 9:00 at night. A guy came up to me and started getting in my face. Then he got real close to me and stuck his hand in my side and said, "Give me all your money or I will KILL you." Before he approached me I saw that there wasn't anything in his hand, so I was pretty confident when in response I put my hand on his shoulder and said, "Do any of these busses go by a subway stop?" It was funny because he answered my question and even told me which busses would take to the subway before he said, "I'm serious! Give me all your money or you won't make it out of Maipu alive!" My response to that was "No thank you." He said some other threats that had to do with how he was going to kill me, but I just ignored him and later asked, "Will this bus take me to the subway?" He said yes, and I got on. I thought I made it, but he followed me onto the bus. Now I started to get worried. I knew this guy had nothing in his hand, but I had no idea what was in his backpack. I got on the bus and took the first available seat. He tried to push me to the back, but I stayed put. Then he started screaming that he was going to kill everyone on the bus if they didn't get off right that instant. Some people got off, but everyone else ignored him. To make a long story short he wouldn't get off the freaking bus and kept screaming and threatening people and I almost attacked him when he made a little girl cry. Later, the woman next to me nudged me and pointed out that one of the passengers was a detective. He had his jacket open and I saw the gun. Whenever this punk would get too close to someone I would see him reach for it. When the punk went to the front of the bus, the detective pulled out his cell phone and called someone. At the next stop, two police officers jumped on the bus and pulled the guy off. Soon after that, I arrived to the Subway and made it home. It was exciting, but from now on I'm taking a taxi after dark.

Virgin Mary Day

Almost everything was closed down for virgin Mary Day here in Chile yesterday. I went to the Presidential Palace in the Santiago (Kind of like the white house) and then I went to Maipu while my parents stayed by the hotel. I met up with Solange in the Plaza and then she took me to her new house. It was really good to see them again. I baptized Solange and Romina before I finished my mission, and since then, Pilar and Enzo have also been baptized. Play Station isn't usually my favorite pass time, but since it was one of the forbidden fruits of the mission, I couldn't pass up playing a few rounds of Mortal Kombat with Enzo. He kicked my trash, took it out, kicked it again, followed it to the dump and kicked it again. I suck. Anyway. The other half of the family has been lost ever since they split up, but Enzo let me in on a little secret. He knows exactly where they live and even goes to visit them. Unfortunately, his Dad doesn't want them to see their ex-family. How sad. Well, Enzo secretly took me to their house and I got to see Grisela, Carla, Jonothan, and Romina. Since I left, the Mom, Grisela, has been baptized, but Jonothan and Carla still haven't. Grisela looked out the window when I called and had a look on her face that said, "Who could that possibly be?" Then when she recognized me she ran out of the house and threw her arms around me and jumped up and down like a giddy school girl. One of the best greetings I've ever received. After spending time with them, I went to the plaza and something weird happened. I'm going to break this up into two entries so this isn't so long.

Dulce patria.

I finally made it to an internet place. I have been in Chile since Friday. So far I have done a lot of hanging out. Friday we just got settled and went around with Bernardita from my Dad's work. It was okay, but I ended up buying the worlds most expensive cake. I told Bernardita that I really liked Torta de mil ojas (Cake of a thousand layers). Then she said she would take me to where I could buy a really good one. It cost one metric butt load, but I felt like I had to buy it since she drove us all the way to this stupid bakery. The cake is really good though. Saturday we took the Subway and bus to Valparaiso. It was a major port in the world at the time of the California Gold Rush, but once the Panama Canal was built everyone stopped coming. We took a tour of the port and I translated everything into English for my folks. Yesterday we went to Maipu to go to church. I wanted to stay and talk to all my friends, but that would be really boring for my parents, so I'll go back another day. Today we went to the movies and saw Click. I didn't want to see that movie, but I thought it would be fun to do it in Chile. The rest of the day I hung out at the mall with my parents.

It's weird. I feel trunky. I want to go home. I feel like I'm back in the mission and I'm having one of those days where you think that you'll never make it home again. How did I make it two years? Divine intervention. That's the only thing that comes to mind.

Family

I saw my sisters today. They seemed to be doing good. I was really happy because I felt like I was just hanging out with my sisters and not having some formal visit. Jason took Taylor and me to the new buffet restaurant in town and we chatted. Jason is cool because he's just an easy going skateboarder. He's always upbeat and doesn't talk bad about anyone. Sydnie is getting really big. At first she was scared of me (just like always) but then she warmed up to me. I wish she would remember me next time I visit. I also met Jason's brother, Travis. He's apparently "dating" Carolyn, but her divorce hasn't been finalized yet. I would say that was the big gossip of my family, but it's hard for gossip to exist in a family as small as mine. What happens, happens and there's no reason for anyone to talk about it.

As I reunite with people, the questions I dread always come up. "So, is there a special someone in your life? Are you going to graduate school? Are you going to med school? What ARE you doing?" I don't get annoyed with people who ask me these questions in any way. I just wish that I had something more interesting to tell them. All the answers are either "I don't know", or just plain "no". That's not exciting. I wish for entirely selfish reasons that I was engaged, and getting ready for med school, and teaching orphans from the Congo how to read, and publishing a book, and curing cancer. Well, I am happy with what I've done. I've come a long way. My accomplishments just aren't very visible. They're not anything that can be told to anyone either. They're more like "I guess you had to be there" accomplishments. I'm excited to go to church tomorrow and see more people. I'm also excited for Del Taco Tuesday and my trip to Chile. Wahoo!

Just like old times.

A few times I've been asked, "What do you do for fun in Texas?" I remember now. There isn't a whole lot to do, so you have to make up your own fun. Thursday we met up with some friends at a park. They had bought five rolls of yarn and were in the process of making a giant net/hammock over some play equipment. It was fun to watch everyone build up courage and go from slowly and gently rolling into the hammock to falling face first into it. Then we went and saw Talladega Nights. The movie was funny, but it was really sacrilegious. Yesterday we slept past noon and then just hung out most of the day. I went to a couple wedding receptions and saw some folks that I haven't seen in years. At night we got up on Kendall's roof and chatted for a while. I'm definitely back in Texas. Even though some people have moved and some new friends are in the group that I don't know too well, everything and everyone is pretty much the same. There are still a ton of people that I want to see before I head back to Utah. It's a little weird though. Last time I saw most of these people I was saying good bye before I left for Oregon. I almost feel like I was expected to come back married or something, so since I'm not, I failed. Hmm.... I know people won't think that way, but it is kind of embarrassing none the less.

Texas

I haven't had much time to sit down and type, but if you want to know how my vacation has been going, just click the link below.
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=999922501&n=2

Last Day

I awoke at a not so early hour, but achieved something great in a minute and thirty-six seconds. I had some egg sandwiches and watched a small part of a movie on comedy central. It intrigued me because the star(the same guy who played Feris Bueler) had recently dropped out of his masters degree program for molecular biology and was now devising a plan to steal plasmids and a lab book in order to make a million dollars. The movie didn't hold my interest very long, even though Dennis Hoffman and Sean Connery were also in it.

My last day at work went well. I never saw Amanda do a cartwheel though. I wanted someone to be rude to me, but everyone was nice. My last customers was also one of my first customers from a year ago. He was really picky, but nicer this time than last time, so I had no reason to rip him a new one. I'm sad to be closing the Dillards chapter of my life. It was a good one.

FYI

For Your Information: It's not a good idea to jump on a trampoline in a thunderstorm.

Some stuff has happened since I last wrote. I don't know how to organize it so I'll just mention stuff as it comes and then decide if it was in any order.

1. Abby called. After almost five months of calling her every week and leaving a message without her ever answering her phone or calling me back, she called. No, no. I'm not obsessed with her, and I'm not stalking her. I just decided a long time ago that I would never lose touch with her. Why her? I don't know. She's still in Chicago. We got caught up on each other's lives, and then I signed up for myspace since she said it would be an easier way for us to keep in touch. Myspace scares me.

2. I'm done with Subway. I got my free 12 inch sub...again, but this time nothing horrible happened to me. Yea! But, I did get the feeling that I was done with Subway. A year is a long time. It's time to give other establishments a chance to feed me on my lunch break.

3. I got to extract chick embryos with a microscope and tiny little forceps. Now we're running in- situ hybridization on them.

4. I cleaned out my car.

5. My work ethic is still holding up somewhat.

6. I've been hanging out with Amanda, Chelsea, and my roommates. We tried making Jello-jigglers and watched the Sandlot one night. We're good at watching the Sandlot, but we need practice with the jigglers. I just got back from Leatherby's. I had a hot fudge sundea and Chelsea hooked me up with some of her cheese fries. I think I still have some Five Buck Pizza in my stomach too, because I'm stuffed and hot and I just can't get comfortable. I'd like to take this time to mention how grateful I am for the division of responsibilities between the sexes and the fact that I will never have to be pregnant (unless something in the lab goes terribly wrong).

Okay. The order seems to be most shocking to least shocking. Have a good day.

Like Lightning

Lightning is great. Confident in my knowledge that electricity will not travel through something not grounded, I would go out in thunderstorms and jump on my trampoline. Covered in water and cold I would jump as high as I could and listen to the thunder roar around me. As I would jump, I'd pretend that I had no home and that I couldn't get out of the rain. I had nowhere to go. No one to turn to. All alone. Just me and the storm. I suppose life was too easy for me, so I had to pretend that I was disadvantaged. I had to make believe that I was overcoming all odds to become something great. The truth of the matter is that I had no difficult odds (or evens) to overcome, and I don't see myself heading towards greatness. I would get tired and just lie down on my trampoline and feel the rain hit my face while I thought. I feel like my thoughts then were deeper than my thoughts now. I'd contemplate the universe, my purpose in life, my association with friends, the existence of God, what it will be like to grow up..... I still think of some of these things, but it doesn't feel the same as it did then. Maybe it just seems that way because I was still new to the whole internal reflection and exploration thing- like when you go back and visit your elementary school and remember everything being so much bigger. I'd start to get cold and although I had no fear of lightning, I did worry about being cold and wet, thereby weakening my immune system, making me more susceptible to sickness and disease. Then, I would go inside. The pretending was over. I could change into some dry clothes and watch the Simpsons while I sipped on hot chocolate. I don't want my life to be more difficult than it is or was. I just think I should do more with the advantages I have. That's all. I can't wait for Del Taco Tuesday!

Mistletoe

I usually try to make big plans for my weekends off. This weekend has been spent sleeping. Tomorrow I go back to work. Maybe I'll be able to get back into the swing of things. Poor white ninja. He can be so sweet and innocent. But, don't be fooled ladies. He also kills bunnies, turtles, horses, and Kitty cats for fun.

This is ponderous man

I've been in a weird mood. I contemplate things and plan things and then never come to any real decision or action. Consider that comment to be a side note. I won't dwell on it. I saw Pirates of the Caribbean II with friends from work last night. It was a fun movie, but I don't see it winning any awards. Mari has wanted to hook me up with one of her friends. I met her for the first time last night at the movie. I shouldn't try to judge someone after only meeting them once, but since I only have a first impression to go on, I would say that we are not each other's type. I can't know for sure what she thought of me, but I get the feeling that she feels the same way I do. I drew a picture of an eye a while back. It's staring at me now. The eye always looks surprised. It never sees anything different. The room hardly ever changes. I can only assume that the eye can read my mind. That's the only logical explanation. What else could surprise it? I'm glad it can read my mind. It's comforting. I don't have to tell it anything. It already knows. The only problem is that it can't do anything about it, and possibly doesn't even care. It just sits there and looks surprised. God knows what I am thinking too. He cares. He knows everything, but still likes it when I tell him what's going on. That's much more comforting. Someone to talk to. Someone that understands.

Gummy Ball (Hats are Showin')

When I was going through my stuff in Phoenix I came across a picture of me when I was first trying out a mohawk. It looked pretty goofy. Not even decked out in full punk gear with metal studs and a mohawk did I ever look intimidating. Some of my friends were pretty scary looking. "Wow, let's walk on the other side of the street to avoid that punk kid." But with me, people wouldn't mind asking me to babysit their young children. That's not a bad thing I guess. I never really wanted to be intimidating anyway.

Travelogue

I have returned from my much awaited vacation. I left last Saturday early in the morning and arrived in Las Vegas where I attended my sister's wedding. It was fun. Braxton and I walked around in the unbearable heat for what seemed like an eternity. The reception was pretty short. My dad looks really different. I hardly recognized him. Here's a picture of my folks. So, we stayed the night at a friends house and then headed for Phoenix the next day. We got to Phoenix and pretty much just chilled with my parents. Monday we saw Jessica and her family and went with them to the mall to hang out. There were some awkward moments for me. Usually it's fun to see someone you haven't seen in a long time and talk about the good ol' days, but for self-evident reasons I didn't have much to say about the good ol' days. It was good to see her and her family again though. After the mall, Braxton and I went back to my parents' house and spent the afternoon in the pool. Tuesday I dropped Braxton off with his Cousin in Mesa and I drove to
Tucson to see the newlyweds, Lashley and Tania. About five minutes away from Lashley's house my car overheated and died. Lashley picked me up and I hung out with him and his wife for a while. They had some awesome wedding pictures and seemed happy. Both of them would recommend marriage. Here's a picture of them with my gift to them (the pinata). I got back to my car, filled up the radiator, started driving, the car started smoking, I pulled into a Jiffy Lube, they said my radiator hose was cut, they said they couldn't fix it, I asked who could, they said Pep Boys, I said that's who replaced the radiator hoses last week, they said the Pep Boys a couple blocks away should fix it for free then, I went to Pep Boys, they said they couldn't get to it till the next day, I left my car, I called Alan, he tried to call his mom, I started walking towards his house, I bought a non-sweaty shirt at the thrift store, I called Chelsea, she was at the airport, we had a nice chat, Alan called me back, his mom picked me up, she was real nice, I met Alan's dad, he's just like Alan, I slept in Alan's bed, I picked up my car the next day, and I made it back to Phoenix in the early afternoon. Here's a picture of me and part of Alan's cat. Wednesday, I went to Mesa with Braxton and saw the temple and then we called up Cheslea and she invited us over. We met her family and she and her sister made us fajitas. Then we went to an open microphone night at Coffee Talk and saw glass blowers and statues. The next day we went to Dunkin Donuts and tubing down the salt river. I should have put sunscreen on my knees. It was a good time. I'm glad we got to hang out with Cheslea and her sister Abby (sp?) It's funny. We actually had a conversation about how there aren't many ways to spell Abbie and it shouldn't be hard to get it right, but I never asked how she spells her name. Oops. Then Friday I drove home and now I'm here. Now I'll just post some more pictures.


This is Jessica and her brother and sisters.










Here I am with Lashley's wife, Tania.










Braxton at the Mesa Temple.








Chelsea and Abby about to be eaten by a zombie cactus.












Chelsea at Coffee Talk.






Abby, Chelsea, and Braxton with our friend Howard.










Me giving Joe a hand with a brick.










Abby preparing for the tubing adventure.

DTT

Del Taco Tuesday was a huge success (with the exception of the absence of a few key founders). We had a few newcomers that helped us set a new record for tacos eaten. Braxton ate 12! Wow! Next week Braxton and I will be in Phoenix, so we'll have to find a Del Taco there if we want to participate.

Independence is great sometimes. It's great to not have to depend on anyone else and to not have anyone else depend on you. This indepenence only lasts so long. I'm trying to take advantage of it by traveling and such, but the truth is that I can enjoy it every day. Yesterday I was driving in my car and I thought. "Wow, this is my car. I own it. My name is on the title. I pay for it's insurance and repairs. No one else has any claim on it." It felt good. At the same time independence can be lonely. "It's just me and my car. No one else." If I planned on it just being me for my entire life, I probably wouldn't still be going to school, so it's a good thing to look into the future. I could easily support myself on a Dilliard's salary and I really wouldn't mind it, but if I want to have a family some day, it won't cut it. Independence, in this sense of the word, is great, as long as it's only temporary.

666

It's amazing that I'm not dead. People die all the time, and I've had quite a few close calls. On my way to pick up Braxton traffic was tight and we all wanted to get wherever we were going as fast as possible (about 70-75 mph). Suddenly the car in front of me slammed on it's brakes and swerved to the left. I remember what went through my mind...."crap". "Crap"for three reasons. First, I was afraid of hitting the car in front of me. Second, I was afraid of slamming on my brakes and being hit from behind. Third, the realization that cars don't swerve out of a lane unless there's a good reason to. So, the car in front gets out of the way and reveals the debris that is littering my side of the road. I tried to get out of the way, but I hit a big chunk of metal with my right tire. It's a miracle that it didn't shred my tire to pieces. Then I slowed down steadily and weaved in and out of debris the best I could until it was finally clear again. On the way back there was a huge traffic jam on the northbound side of the road and a fire truck and ambulance at the same spot where I had my encounter. I was lucky.

At work I spent all day cleaning out the stockroom with my manager. She was going to throw away an old mannequin, so I asked if I could have it. She said I could have it. Now I have it. Awesome.

Braxton

I'm up and about a bit earlier than usual. Soon I'll be taking off to the airport to pick up Big B. It's amazing how many times I've been to the airport without actually going anywhere. I'm bummed though. I tried to get today off, but I couldn't switch with Jose like I had planned. So, right after I get back from the airport, I have to go straight to work and spend all day there. Oh well, at least I have Del Taco to look forward to, and tomorrow I'll have all day to hang out with Braxton and have fun.

Last night I sat in on a Europe meeting hosted by Council Bluffs. It was fun. I'm thinking that I might make a quick trip to Europe this year after all. I think it would be fun to fly to London, have lunch with Council Bluffs and the rest of the Europe crew and then fly back home. It would definitely be the coolest/most expensive lunch of my life.

Lonely Saturday

No one is around. I have nothing to do. I find myself rocking to Franz Ferdinand and eating cookie dough. I guess that's something. Jared's band practiced this morning. I should feel privileged to have access to my own private live band, but I wasn't in the mood so I went for FIVE BUCK PIZZA!!!! Yeah! FIVE BUCK PIZZA!!! I grabbed my pizza and went in search of a lovely place to consume it and make it a part of me. We are what we eat. I am made up of Five Buck Pizza, Del Taco, Frozen Burritos, and Cookie Dough. That explains a lot. Anyway... I ended up at the Mall. Wow. I am wearing my ref jersey, so naturally I went to Foot Locker, walked up to the first employee I saw and said..............................................."nice shirt". He smiled, I smiled. We understood each other. A bond was formed that will never be broken. So, I walked around the mall and saw that the Da Vinci Code started in ten minutes. So..... I watched it. It was good. If I find myself flipping through channels on TV in two years and It is on TBS or something.....I'll watch it again. Now I'm home alone. Alan is at Lashley's wedding reception. Council Bluffs is working. Skuffs is .....well....not here. Braxton is in Texas, but not for long. The only friends I got to hang out with today were, Tom Hanks, the guy at Five Buck Pizza, and the guy at Foot Locker. Would it be weird for me to go back to Foot Locker just to hang out with an employee there? Yes, it would. Too much cookie dough. Need Milk. Over and out.

Kyle the Tender Hearted

Okay, I take it back. Don't sue me. My lawyer was busy all day yesterday and is beginning to get disgruntled. At work I overheard a conversation of an older couple that I had been helping. They referred to me as, "that tender-hearted boy". Being nice and helpful is okay, but as Adam said, "calling a boy tender-hearted is like saying a girl is a 'sweet spirit'." So, I just assume that in old people talk it's meant as a complement. Adam said that the same day he was called "bubbly". Ouch! Bubbly!?! That's horrible. People can be so cruel.

I made some progress yesterday. Now that I know what's wrong with me, I can take steps towards fixing myself. I don't know how long it'll take. Maybe a month. Maybe a year. Hopefully less than a year. A year is a long time. A year ago I was quitting my job back in Texas and packing up for my 43 hour bus ride to Oregon. That was a major turning point in my life. I don't know if it was a mistake or not. Either way, I find myself still learning and realizing things from the experience.

Desire

I want to write, but I have to go to work. It hit me this morning. I know why nothing has been working out, and I know what I have to do. It'll be tough, but worth it. Sure, it's rude of me to post something like that without providing details. So, sue me. I'm not perfect.

More Kipling

Pink Dominoes
Jenny and Me were engaged, you see,
On the eve of the Fancy Ball;
So a kiss or two was nothing to you
Or any one else at all.

Menny would go in a domino --
Pretty and pink but warm;
While I attended, clad in a splendid
Austrian uniform.

Now we had arranged, through notes exchanged
Early that afternoon,
At Number Four to waltz no more,
But to sit in the dusk and spoon.

I wish you to see that Jenny and Me
Had barely exchanged our troth;
So a kiss or two was strictly due
By, from, and between us both.

When Three was over, an eager lover,
I fled to the gloom outside;
And a Domino came out also
Whom I took for my future bride.

That is to say, in a casual way,
I slipped my arm around her;
With a kiss or two (which is nothing to you),
And ready to kiss I found her.

She turned her head and the name she said
Was certainly not my own;
But ere I could speak, with a smothered shriek
She fled and left me alone.

Then Jenny came, and I saw with shame
She'd doffed her domino;
And I had embraced an alien waist --
But I did not tell her so.

Next morn I knew that there were two
Dominoes pink, and one
Had cloaked the spouse of Sir Julian Vouse,
Our big Political gun.

Sir J. was old, and her hair was gold,
And her eye was a blue cerulean;
And the name she said when she turned her head
Was not in the least like "Julian."

'Twas a mighty long day. Funny story. I found a note on the ground during Sunday school that was probably left over from the day before. It said "Joe" on the front. I thought about opening it, but I wanted to show it to Alan first. So, I handed it to Alan and Alan handed it to Council Bluffs who handed it to someone else. I forgot that when someone hands you a note and your name isn't on it, the proper procedure is to pass it to the person next to you. Then at the end of the row someone piped up and said that Joe was actually the person sitting in front of me, so they passed the note back, and I handed it to him. Joe looked very confused. I wish I knew what the note said. In my mind the note said, "Dear Joe, You are Hot Stuff. Meet me Monday at 9:00 in front of the SWKT. Love Julie." Now the wrong Joe is going to show up and it shall be a hilarious comedy of errors.

Dillards

Work was made up of a lot of standing around and a few noteworthy happenings. First of all, I will not be manipulated, and I will not allow others to believe that I am being manipulated unless of course by doing so I am manipulating them(Not that I make a habit of manipulating anyone). So, this guy is trying to decide between a 200 buck Dillards brand suit and a 600 bone Hart Schaffner & Marx suit. Just the fact that he's debating between the two tells me that he has money and can afford a nice suit. I know that wealthy people aren't satisfied with cheap suits and will come back and complain anytime they get a wrinkle. So, I talked up the advantages of owning a high-end suit and he chose to purchase it. Then, I ring up the suit and he asks if I can ship it to his house after it's altered(he's from out of town). I say, "sure thing", and look up the price of shipping. Then he starts to have a fit and says that he shouldn't have to pay for shipping since the suit is so expensive and if we don't ship it to him for free he won't buy it. I thought, "Well, this guy is a big jerk, but he's right. He's from out of town and can't wait around for us to finish altering his suit, so we should send it to him free." I picked up the phone and said that I'd try to get a manager to waive the shipping fee. That's when it happened. He looked at me with his beady eyes and said in a snotty condescending voice, "Alright, call a manager so we can see if you get your sale or not." I could feel my face turn a bright red due to suppressed rage. My left hand was clinched tight while my other hand set the phone back on the hook. I looked at him with a forced smile and responded, "I'm trying to get this approved because I think you're right, NOT because I'm afraid of losing a sale." I just wanted him to know. I wanted him to know that he wasn't pressuring me into doing anything. He wasn't some master negotiator that threatened the little suit boy until he got his way. I made the phone call, the manager approved it, and I was happy to see that guy walk out of the store, hopefully never to return. I felt good, I didn't lose my temper, but I wasn't a doormat either. Some very pleasant things also happened. Unfortunately, I don't feel like telling those stories at the moment. So, instead, just read the white ninja comic again and laugh. It's funny.

A poem

If

IF you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream -- and not make dreams your master;
If you can think -- and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings -- nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And -- which is more -- you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling

I made some phone calls to Chile this morning. Everyone is excited about my visit. I can't wait to see everyone again. I've spent enough time with my computer today. Back to Life. Back to Reality.

ouch

Life just keeps handing me lemons and I have no idea how to turn them into lemonade...so all I can do is what this kid is doing. It sucks. Yep, it sucks BFCGB, but life goes on. I just need to do a hard reboot and start over. On my list of goals I have written, "Enjoy Life". Right now it seems like an impossible task, but someday things will get better.

Lemonade

Today went well. I practiced self-discipline and accomplished everything I set out to do. Of course, I didn't set out to do anything that is really very noteworthy, but that's beside the point. I feel great. Tomorrow should be just as good. I'll start the day at 7:oo so that I don't miss any of the wonderful things that are sure to happen. Maybe I'll even have some lemonade. Maybe instead of looking for a job this fall, I'll just set up lemonade stands around the county and hire cute little kids to push the stuff. Then I'll come by and collect the profit with some thugs (Gavin, Alan, and Council Bluffs). If they don't pay up, we'll go to their houses with baseball bats and...............break their neighbor's window and blame it on them so that they get grounded. HA HA HA HA HA! It's ingenious. Will anyone buy lemonade in December? Hmmm... Never mind. It would never work. It'll be too cold. Back to the drawing board.

1200 Bones

I just spent 1200 dollars. It feels great. I was wondering when I could get rid of that lousy money that's been burning a whole in my pocket. So, this means that it's official. I leave for Chile August 10th and I return August 22nd. My parents decided to come with me for the first week, and then I'll have five days on my own to just chill. I can't wait to start sending out emails and making phone calls so that everyone knows I'm coming. Yipee!

I got some bad news though. I didn't get the TA job that I applied for. All the spots are full now and I'm not occupying any of them. It seems like things just aren't going my way lately. There are a couple of possibilities. Either I'm just in a slump of bad luck/mood and good fortune is headed my way as I post this, or this is just the beginning and before you can say "man that sucks" my life is just going to spiral downward until I hit rock bottom, break through rock bottom and become trapped in the super-heated core of the Earth. Well, when life hands you a lemon, squeeze the juice into your eye, or make lemonade. Hmmm.... Not getting a TA job is to a lemon as __________ is to lemonade. I'll ponder that. Over and out.

The Boot

Last night I was out pretty late discussing some things with Chelsea. After we decided it was time to head home I walked up to my car and, alas, a yellow piece of paper and a boot. I think it's ridiculous that they can get away with booting cars that are parked on what is obviously a street. Oh well, I made a point of not letting it get to me, and I remained chipper when I realized that I have joined the elite society of people who have had their cars booted. Sure it sucks that there is a fifty dollar membership fee for this society, but I guess it's worth it. Darn, I should have taken a picture to cherish the moment.

In other news, Saturday night turned out to be the oddest date in the history of dating. Imagine a date involving, four square, a nickel arcade, three ex-girlfriends, two ex-boyfriends, a switcharoo, a kazoo, a slap bracelet, a Chilean, free room temperature pizza, a pet rock, a Santa Claus necklace, and a marijuana shop owned by herb. It was good fun. It was a date that will not be soon forgotten. A complete explanation of the date is available upon request. Simply contact me.

Council Bluffs needs to do the dishes

My good friend CB was just sitting here, but then he told me that he needs to go do the dishes. He should be back soon though. Till then, I'll just type away. This morning I got up and read a little bit. Then I went for a jog and lifted Gavin's weights. After showering I ran down to the post office to mail off a gift to my mom for Mother's Day. Then I came home and watched some Karate stuff on ESPN and went to work. Work was slow. I talked to Adam for a good while before his shift ended. Our conversation was comforting and depressing at the same time, with an overall feeling of understanding. After work I came home and then left with Alan to drop off the Spider Man 2 DVD back at Route 22. Then it was off to do some shopping at Wal-Mart. Well, after all that adventure and excitement I'm ready to call it a night and hit the sack a bit earlier than usual. Good Night.

Surprise

Boy oh boy, this weekend sure was full of surprises. Actually, there was only one surprise, but it was big enough to fill a couple weekends. Whenever something is weighing on my mind, and I need to make tough decisions or just sort through some things, I've been known to take short walks. By walking, I feel like I'm distancing myself from my problems so that I can approach them more objectively, but not running away from them. It gives me plenty of time to be alone and just think. I guess I had a lot of thinking to do Sunday night, because the short walk landed me in American Fork at 4:00 am. I had to take the bus back to Provo. It was a good walk though. I realized a few things. Mostly about myself. Partly about life in general. I can't really mention what I was thinking about or what I realized. You see, the whole idea of the walk is privacy, personal reflection, and prayer. I can't say that after the journey I now have everything figured out. That would be great, but it's not the truth. I can say, however, that my mind is at ease now, and I'm ready to face all the new surprises that life has in store for me.

I'm Back!!!

I'm terribly sorry for not posting for such a long time. You see, I was walking home from my last final when a custom hot pink 1984 DeLorean pulled up and a man resembling Peter Jennings poked his head out the window and offered me a bag of dried banana chips if I would get into the car with him. Would you say no? I hopped in and the car took off. I was so busy eating banana chips that I didn't even notice when the gull wing doors flew open and we started flying into the sky. The next weeks were spent upon an alien spacecraft.

Nearing the End

I'm done with classes. After finals, I'll be free from homework and studying until next fall. This morning I read 50 more pages out of Babbit. There are some parts of the book that do a good job of explaining what its like to feel like a failure in the midst of success. I have enjoyed the book up to this point, but if the pace doesn't pick up pretty soon, I can see myself getting bored and not finishing it. I'm anxious to read my other books. I have no school and no work today. What will I do with my spare time? It has to be noteworthy. The great thing about publishing my daily thoughts and activities in a potentially public forum, is that I am very aware of moments in my life becoming dull and boring. Well, I need to catch up on the past week. I'll do my best to remember things that have occurred.

Monday, April 17, 2006

It was difficult to get out of bed due to my late night preparations. Bro. Walsh ended up just having us hold up our journals and filing assignments. That was it. He didn't even look at them. Part of me wished I hadn't bothered doing them, but the other part of me would lose all respect for the first part of me if it had lied. I want all my parts to get along, so actually doing the work will always be my only true option whether "getting away with it" is an option or not. After the short internal debate, I mailed my state tax thingamajigger. The girl who I always sit next to in Cell Bio has been much more open and friendly ever since she got married. I suppose that at the beginning of the semester she was either afraid of me hitting on her, or just constantly worried about the wedding and how it would all turn out. Getting hitched in the middle of a semester has to be pretty stressful. In Genetics we discussed speciation and interspecies mating. Of course, some slightly inappropriate, but entirely funny comments were made by witty students. In the afternoon I fell asleep and woke up late. I threw on some clothes, sped to work, and made it just in time. In my rush, I neglected to put on my cufflinks, so I ended up using cable ties to keep my shirt cuff closed. I had my five minute review with my manager who warned about the evils of gossip in the workplace. It's funny, because after the meeting she asked how I was holding up since Jessica took off. I never told her about that. She must have heard it from Chuck. Gossip. Well, anyways, I was happy to report that I'm holding up just fine. Then I came home, went to Wal-Mart with the gang and jogged over to Route 22 to see Chelsea. We ended up going for a nice walk around the neighborhood. It's great to have such a wonderful girl to walk with.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Church was fine. We saw Terra and Leslie, and Derek and Paul for the last time as their home teachers. In the afternoon we walked over to Route 22 in response to a dinner invitation. On the way all four of us were talking on cell phones. It must have looked pretty ridiculous. The food was amazing. I'm still craving ham. Frozen burritos just won't be the same for the next few weeks. During dinner we voted on the correct pronunciation of words like crayon, trombone, syrup, Monticello, Camille, and both. I have to change my pronunciation of syrup from now on. No more sear-up, just sir-up. Then I came home and worked late into the night preparing twenty gospel files filled with three stories each, filling in all the gaps in my daily journal, writing three analogies, and writing four test questions for New Testament. It's my own fault for not working on it throughout the semester.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Eight hours at work flew by pretty quickly. I had lunch with Adam and his mom in the foodcourt. That is the first time I have ever shared my lunch break with a co-worker. I usually eat alone and keep to myself. I enjoyed it. After work I went to Chelsea's ward's "end of the semester, good bye, closing social extravaganza." The food was tasty. The hamburgers were burnt, just how I like 'em. I threw a football around with Chelsea, Whitney, and Councilina for a while. Even though I can't handle a football very well now it brought back memories of high school P.E. and the only time I ever felt good at a team sport. For some reason, maybe all my practice with juggling, I was able to catch a football really well at that time in my life. My teammates would always throw the ball to me because I never dropped it. They even called me Jerry Rice. Well, after tossing around the ol' pigskin, we watched the slide show, went to play foursquare at Alpine Court, and Chelsea and I watched the second best movie ever made, Reckless Kelly.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Well, I waited too long to write an update. I can't remember what happened Friday. I'm sure I went to school and then went to work. Well, I can tell you that two years ago from today, I was helping an investigator do some work on his house in Chile. I accidentally grabbed a live electrical wire and everyone freaked out. Miraculously I wasn't hurt at all. I must have been wearing the right shoes.

Update

Today I have felt a great need to restructure my life and change what I focus on and how I do things. Well, It's not really something new that just hit me today. I've felt it for a while. In an attempt to take a step up and not be complacent with where I am and what I have achieved, I purchased some books to help stimulate sections of my brain that haven't received much play lately. The books are Babbit, Utopia, A Tale of Two Cities (That's right, I've never read it), and The First Men in The Moon. When I go to work today, I want it to be different. I want to do things differently, find a better approach, get to know the people who enter my department, and really enjoy my time there. I won't allow it to be three wasted hours. I'm reminded of some Franz Ferdinand Lyrics:

I time every journey to bump into you, accidentally

I charm you and tell you of the boys I hate

All the girls I hate

All the words I hate

All the clothes I hate

How I'll never be anything I hate

You smile, mention something that you like

or How you'd have a happy life

if you did the things you like

I have no plans to make any dramatic changes in my life. I won't move to Russia, change my name, or join a boy band. I actually have no plans at all. I just want to wipe away everything I know about life and rediscover it. I tried this in the mission field in two different ways. When I started the mission I tried to forget American Culture and I just accepted Chile as my new reality and learned to love it. After a year, this new strange culture and missionary lifestyle became routine and unexciting. When I had the chance to train, I decided that I wanted to start over and forget everything I knew about the discussions and the routines of missionary work. Since my new companion wasn't tainted by unnecessary traditions, together we could reinvent how the work was done and find new ways to be successful. It felt great. I want that feeling again.

Eureka's Castle

I found a copy of Reckless Kelly on Amazon and made it mine. It should arrive next week. I had a lot of fun studying with Chelsea last night so she could get ready for her test, but tonight I've been stuck studying for my own classes, bummer. I can just be glad that my tests probably won't be half as difficult as hers was. Since I aced my last lab exam I'm hoping to do it again. If I get every question right I'll have a good chance at an A in the class. I need every A I can get. I don't see it happening in any of my other classes this semester, unless all my teachers suddenly whip out Kilimanjaro sized curves. I'm pretty pooped. I just thought I'd jot something down real quick. I have to keep studying now.

Funny ways to take the bolded sentence out of context.

"I'm pretty...", bragged Kyle as he studied himself in the mirror.
When Kyle was questioned about his slipping grades he responded, "I'm ... [poop]."
Headline: "Kyle claims '...pretty [poo]' to be more beautiful than our own Milky Way!"

Alright, that's enough. Be excellent to each other.

Reckless Kelly

Now I'm on the lookout for a new movie: Reckless Kelly. It's made by the Australian Director, Writer, Producer, and Actor, Yahoo Serious. So far I don't think it has been released on DVD and none of the video stores carry it, even though they do have his other works such as, Young Einstein and Mr. Accident. For now I'm keeping an eye on eBay to see if I can find it for cheap. My classes went okay today. Before work I was trying to open up a can of spaghetti sauce with our piece of vraag can opener, I got mad and threw it away. Since it was thrown away and I wasn't about to reach into the garbage and restore it to it's post, I went to Smith's and bought a new heavy duty one. This sucker is the Arnold Schwarzenegger of can openers. Later, on my way to work, I listened to the Eagle's cassette that Chelsea gave me. I arrived at Dillard's early so I just sat in my car and kept listening to the tunes before clocking in.

Tuesday, April 4, 2006

I spent the morning getting the final touches done for my presentation in my Molecular Biology lab. I knew everything about the Gonadotropin Releasing Hormone that I was assigned to study. Before I left, I thought of a scripture that I wanted to share. So, I grabbed my scriptures and tried to find it as I walked to my class. Then, out of nowhere, I ran into one of my favorite zone leaders from the mission. I asked where the scripture was and he found it right away. FYI, the scripture was Alma 30:44. The presentation itself could have gone better, but I also got back my last exam and saw that I made a 100 percent on it. After work, I watched Run Lola Run with Chelsea and Council Bluffs. If you loved, Groundhog Day, The Bourne Identity, The Fifth Element, One Crazy Summer, and Schulze Gets the Blues, then Run Lola Run is the movie for you.

Monday, April 3, 2006

I'm going to give up on trying to figure out the code to Route 22's door. They can even punch it in right in front of me and I won't even bother to look. They can all feel free to let their guard down. That's right, they can go ahead and let their guard down. I'm no threat. No siree. No threat here. Not at all. Nope. No threat. (fingers crossed). After work I stopped by Route 22 because Chelsea said she had something for me. What she had for me was one of the most thoughtful gifts that I have received in a long time. She knew that all I ever listen to in my car is R.E.M and the Ghostbuster Soundtrack, so she gave me some new cassette tapes. Now I have a good variety and don't have to listen to the same thing every time I get into my car. She's so great. Later, we went to the park to do some swinging, and then just sat and chatted for a while. We also did an anti-snow dance to ward off any evil winter spirits. At the end of the night she agreed to let me be her boyfriend. YIPEE!!! And, I hate to jump to any conclusions, but I think that also means that she's my girlfriend. YIPEE!!! I've been on cloud nine ever since. (I don't really know what that expression means, but I think that it applies to what I've been feeling)

SLEEP

I need to sleep, and I will sleep, but I would like to keep a daily account of my life, even if it is brief. Today I woke up and watched the first Sunday session of General Conference. I confess that I missed one of the talks in order to fill up my car with gas. I was sure to go to a pay at the pump station so that no one would be required to take my money. Although it would be fun, I don't feel like debating the ins and outs of Sabbath day observance right now. Then we all got together and made our way towards Salt Lake for the Afternoon session. We made it to the Conference Center with what we thought to be plenty of time, but I guess we were wrong. So instead of using our tickets to get in, we used them to pass notes as we sat in temple square and listened to Conference over the speakers. It was a ton-o-fun. Thank goodness for cootie shots. After conference Chelsea invited me over for dinner. She made some delectable bean soup and heavenly cornbread. Then I came home, took a nap, ate some orange sherbet, discovered my shirt was sewn shut, called Chelsea, and now I'm typing this up before I fall asleep.

Saturday, April 1, 2006

I woke up much earlier than I wanted to so I could go to work. I only had to work until four, which was great because it meant I was able to go with my roommates to the priesthood session of General Conference. Of course, looking back I realize that the night would have been much different for quite a few people had I stayed at work till six and skipped out on the priesthood session. So we went to Salt Lake and got there way too late and ended up watching it at the Legacy theater. On the way back I was exhausted. It's already been a really long weekend. We came home and opened the door to find that we had been pranked. Route 22 used their girls night out to have a little fun with our apartment. They took all of our right shoes, and stole our doors. There was also a lot of random stuff all over the place. At first I thought that they switched our things with stuff from someone else's apartment, but upon further inspection of the sign they left and the items themselves we realized that it was just a bunch of treasures from good ol' DI. We took a moment to inspect the apartment and then had a small apartment meeting where we discussed our plan of action. Do we get mad or do we get even? Well, all I can tell you is that we're not mad.

Friday, March 31, 2006

I did some school stuff, went to Chelsea's soccer game, and then had a really fun date with her. We tried to get a bite to eat at Chili's, but there was an hour long wait so we aborted that mission. We ended up going to Costa Vida/Azul. They make a killer burrito. Then we saw Schultze Gets the Blues, got ice cream, were sent on a pointless errand and then watched The Hudsucker Proxy. Thank goodness for cootie shots. I enjoyed the night a lot and came home happy and started to go to bed, but my "spider sense" told me that something was terribly wrong with the fabric of the universe. Alan was outside talking to Councilina Bluffs so I got dressed and went outside and started walking laps around the neighborhood and looking over to see if he was done talking yet. When I walked by and saw that he was no longer on the phone, we started walking and I found out that my worst nightmare had become a reality. Alan and Councilina Bluffs are no longer Alan and Councilina Bluffs. Now they're just Alan........and...........Councilina Bluffs. I didn't cry and I didn't beat anyone up, but I was very unsettled. So me and Alan just kept walking until we reached Beto's, a 24 hour Mexican food place. The food made me wish I had no stomach. Then we walked home and went to bed around 6:00 in the morning.

So Gosh Darn Like The Same Person

Today at Smith's the lady behind us in line asked if Alan and I were brothers. Why would she ask that? The comment was completely unsolicited. She must have been thinking, "Wow, those two guys look so gosh darn like the same person, you say to one of them 'you want Kroger?' both of them say yes." After that crossed her mind she just had to know if we were twins, because that would be the only explanation. We actually do look a lot a like. As you can see, the only way to tell us apart is that one of us likes to wear blue while the other likes to wear red. You can also recognize Alan because he's the one that is holding hands with his girlfriend, Councilina Bluffs.

An Interesting Day

I woke up and cooked some eggs and chatted with Alan. While he was walking out the door I threatened to cut his throat while he slept. I hope he didn't take it too bad. I was only kidding. OR WAS I? Then I did a quick chem review and left in time to spend three hours in the testing center. After two hours I was barely half done with the exam. The last hour I was sweating bullets and tapping my fingers uncontrollably on the desk. "Stop TAPPING!" I wanted to scream. My brain was sending the signals, but my fingers weren't listening. "Stop IT! You're going to annoy the people around us!" Still nothing. I gave up and just let them tap as I scrambled to finish the exam. My time ran out and I just had to turn in what I had so I could make it to my mol bio lab. The lab was fun. We isolated the glow in the dark protein from our transgenic bacteria and ran our replicated DNA on the electrophoresis gel. It turns out that I'm homozygous recessive for the section of DNA that we were looking at. Jessica called me while I was in my lab. I told her that I couldn't talk, and that was that. Then I grabbed some lunch at the cougareat with my Lab Partner and afterwards we went to the library to work on our presentation due next week. Work was really slow. I met Adam's fiancee. She seems nice. I told him that I approved. He was glad, because had I not approved he would have had to dump her. After work I went to Route 22 with the intention of discussing something with Chelsea, but it took me a little over an hour to build up the guts to say anything. Things were awkward for a moment, but she made a good point that sometimes things need to be awkward. Awkwardness aside, I feel much better now.

Too much

I finished my five pound tub of potato salad today. I just love the stuff so much. I didn't even realize it until now. The only problem is that five pounds of potato salad is just a little bit too much. Me having potato salad is like leaving on vacation and just giving your dog 20 bowls of food, expecting it to only eat one bowl a day. That'll never happen. Dogs and Kyles have no self control and will eat a month's worth of potato salad in one sitting.

Gavin's going to be a famous basketball player. Council Bluffs is still playing matchmaker. Alan is off with Councilina Bluffs. I'm just trying to remember everything I studied for my Chem exam tomorrow.

Great Success

The big plan turned out better than anticipated. I believe that all parties involved are better because of it. Everyone had at least some doubt about whether or not it would work. I know I did. But all those doubts have now been blown out of the water. I won't go into much detail right now, but if you WANT all the juicy details, just ask me or talk to me for more than five minutes and I'll probably mention it. After everyone came back, I couldn't let them see me and I didn't want to be locked in my room all night, so I snuck out the window and walked to route 22 and hung out with Whitney, Pottawattamie, and Matt until the plan came to completion. Yesterday I slept in really late, bought a large tub of potato salad, ate five buck pizza, went to work, and made and ate pancakes with Chelsea at Route 22. She's a great flipper. And she recognized my amazing chocolate chipping abilities.

Phase 1 Complete

Well, my role in the big plan is now over. The most crucial part is happening as I write this. I am anxious to see how everything turned out. Okay, now on to a completely unrelated topic... I think that it is a lot of fun to pretend to be someone I'm not. I was just discussing it with Councilina Bluffs, Chelsea, and Council Bluffs. When you aren't yourself there is no pressure at all. You can pick your nose, act like an idiot, make fun of yourself, leave your fly unzipped, or anything else that could be embarrassing and it won't matter. I enjoy living vicariously through other people so much that on occasion I have considered living vicariously through myself. If I pretend that I'm not really me, I can take a lot of risks that I normally wouldn't take. I can just pretend that I'm writing a movie script and I'm the main character. I just do what I would want my character to do, and if something goes wrong, It's okay because by the end of the movie I know that everything is going to turn out great.

I Like to Move It

Council Bluffs is talking with Carrie and Alan is talking to Kerri. It turns out that our big plan may involve Carrie, Kerri, Chelsea, Chelsie, Alan, and Alan. That would be neat. Good night.

Squatting Midgets? Perhaps. You? Never

My cell biology exam didn't go to well. The questions are always so open ended that I have no idea what to write so I just ramble on and on about nonsense. My laboratory exam went well though. I kept my cool and was able to complete everything on the exam. Last time I was so rushed that I missed simple things just because of time constraints. The semester is winding down so I need to buckle down and get ready for finals. If I do not, yea, the entire semester shall be in vain.

Mr. Kinase Expert

I did some pretty good studying today. I have two major tests tomorrow that could make or break me. I mean, I have two ominous tests tomorrow that WILL break me. Only having science classes and only studying science has been playing with my brain and invading my dreams. I dreamt that I was at some convention and there was a man sitting behind a table with a sign that said KINASE EXPERT or something to that effect. In the dream it was perfect because I just happened to have a question about Kinases. So I walked up and said, "Hey, I'm studying the pathway of the Gonadotropin Releasing Hormone and I'm having trouble figuring out the order of phosphorylation. I know that MapK is first because when I inhibit it nothing else gets phosphorylated, but I can't inhibit any of the other Kinases. What other method could I use?" He just looked at me and didn't say anything. I couldn't tell if he didn't know the answer or if my question was so simple that it was wasting his precious time. I woke up a little uneasy. I just went jogging with Gavin and Alan. It killed me. I'm so out of shape that if I were supposed to be a square right now, I would actually be a 150 pound tub of Jello. It was fun though.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Church was church and work was work. I spoke to the folks. I can't remember anything else very eventful. Tonight Gavin had a great idea that we are formulating into an awesome plan, but unfortunately, I can't talk about it, and I can't talk about why.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

I spent all day at work. I got home in time to hang out a bit and then to go see the Chronicles of Narnia with the ward. I approve of the movie. I did not feel like my time was wasted.

Friday, March 17, 2006

I was going to try out my grappling hook tonight, but instead Megan and her friend Katy picked me up and we went to Chili's and ate with all of their friends. I got the boneless buffalo chicken salad. I decided on a salad because yesterday Kevin got a salad at Carl's Jr. and it looked really good.

Grappling Hooks and Friends

I got to hang out with Kendall and Nels and Ben and Kevin today. I skipped my chemistry class so I could go to Salt Lake with them. We saw the new Joseph Smith movie at temple square and checked out the almost completely abandoned malls. Nels wanted to go to a Ninja store to get some sandals so we went in search of it, but my car over heated and smoke started coming out of the hood. After going a few places and asking a few people for directions we finally found a Jiffy Lube. The guy there started working on the Intrepid immediately and offered us some hot chocolate while we waited. When he finished he told me that the radiator was bone dry, so he put in two bottles of antifreeze and a quart of oil and some power steering fluid. Then he tossed me my keys and said it was ready to go. I asked what I owed and he said, "nothing." I couldn't believe it. We thanked him and drove off. The car didn't over heat the rest of the trip. We found the ninja store and I bought a grappling hook that I will surely put to good use, and some chopsticks. The picture is of Braxton, Taylor, Me, Nels, and Kendall leaning against my other car before I left for Oregon.

Snake Water

You know in the pac man game when between levels a ghost chases pac man off the screen and then a giant pac man comes back and chases the ghost off the screen? That is the relationship I have with chemistry. It was chasing me, but now the tables have turned and I'm the one doing the chasing. I am going to kick chemistry's butt.
Saturday we woke up early to film our music video. We only got three takes before I had to go and get ready for work so we didn't achieve perfection before showing it at the ward film festival. Everyone did a really good job with their videos. I am genuinly impressed with all the talents of the people in the ward. Great senses of humor, great editing ablility, great showmanship. We are all greaful for and indebted to Councilina Bluffs for putting our performance on a DVD and getting it ready for Saturday night.

The DVD

Yesterday was another great day. The highlight was the arrival of the Hudsucker Proxy. About five years ago I decided that when people asked me what my favorite movie was I would say, "The Hudsucker Proxy." It didn't take me long to realize that very few people have seen this masterpiece of cinema. Now that I own it, I can share the experience of the Hud with all of my friends and loved ones. I listened to more Franz Ferdinand and danced a little bit more. I also practiced for our recording of "A Million Ways to be Cruel" by oK Go. Today wasn't as wonderful as the past two days were. I was more reflective than manic. I was digging around in my suitcases trying to find something and I came across my journal. The last entry I made was my first day in Oregon. It was kind of sad to read what I was thinking the days between my return home from my mission and that fateful day that I took the bus to Oregon. A lot has changed since then.

Joy

I went to my three hour molecular biology lab and finished in an hour and fifteen minutes. That gave me an hour and forty-five minutes of free time. I took that hour and forty-five minutes of free time and converted it to pure, unadulterated joy. After having such a concentrated jolt of joy I felt so great that I blasted some Franz Ferdinand and danced while cleaning the house. My once dirty laundry is now warm and inviting. My once smelly room is now tidy and fragrant. My once sour demeanor is now lively and cheerful.

The 80's and Me

The 80's loves me and I love her back. A lot of people dog on my good friend the 80's. They say that they don't like her movies, or her music, or her fashion, or her politics. They have the right to their own opinion, but it doesn't change the way things are. She is the best thing that could have happened to this country. I know that she is the best thing that has happened to me. Last night I went over to Megan's house and watched a good ol' fashioned movie starring John Cusack. It was more a chick flick than anything, but I still liked it. There were some great lines in it like, "You invade my soul."

Today I went to church and saw the new bishop. We were all disappointed because he doesn't look like anyone famous (our previous bishops include Gordon B Hinckley and William Shatner), but I'm sure he'll be a fine bishop anyway. I'm not going to be rushing to finish any homework now or tomorrow morning because I actually did it all on Friday. It feels great. I hope I can continue to have this same kind of discipline.

Rita gal moped, "End Gonging!"

I actually did some homework today. I think the board I made is really going to help me stay on track for at least 100 hours. Yesterday I ordered the Hudsucker Proxy DVD. I'm struggling to think of anything worth mentioning. Hmmm.... maybe I'll do something now and then write about it before I go to bed. Okay I'm back. I decided to burn something so I printed out the word DISRESPECT and set it on fire. I tried just using the stove, but it didn't give me the flames I wanted so I got out the lighter and was finally satisfied.

Ketchup

It's time to play catch up, so I'll start with today and work backwards. I went to a special suit meeting in Salt Lake instead of going to class. I am proud to be the youngest suit salesman in the area. Everyone there was at least twice as old as me. Most could be my parents and some could be my grandparents. I enjoyed it though because I got free breakfast. Then I bombed a chemistry test and resolved to do better. I made a poster to track my progress so I can be more accountable for my study habits. Then I went to work and came home and now I'm typing this. Now I'll write about previous days as if it still were those days.

February 28, 2006

Today I rushed to finish Megan's skirt. I finished the hem right before I had to rush off to my molecular bio lab. I got a major headache while there and ended up leaving early because I just couldn't concentrate. Once I left the lab I started to feel better. Maybe some of the E coli we were working with crawled up my nose and into my brain so that it could use me as some kind of transport. When I stepped outside it had reached its objective so the colony of bacteria crawled out and jumped into the grass. Then I delivered Megan's skirt after I got home from work. She wasn't there so I just left it with her roommate.

February 27, 2006

I turned 22 years old today. Bummer. I liked being 21. 21 is a good age. 22 is a bad age. I must be a bad person now. Oh well, being bad is just fine with me. In fact, I like being 22 now. Yeah! I'm 22!!!!! The day was pretty uneventful, just how I like it. Some people knew it was my birthday somehow. Tara and Leslie brought over cookies while I was at work. After work I went to wal-mart. I bought myself pickles and flowers. Alan and councilina got me Butterfingers and Chelsea got me otter pops and pringles with a napkin Birthday Card. My mom and dad got me an awesome digital camera so now I can post more pictures. I love it when they spoil me.

February 26, 2006

Church was good. We were late and sat in the stairway during sacrament meeting. I had my ecclesiastical endorsement interview thingy. I passed. Go me! The rest of the day was spent working on Megan's skirt. It's going to be tough to finish before she gets back from Mexico, but I'll try. So far girls have actually said that the skirt is cute. If I actually knew anything about sewing it could have actually turned out to be a pretty descent article of clothing.

February 25, 2006

Almost the entire day was spent sewing. I really enjoy it. I'm happiest when I'm working on a project that really doesn't benefit me in any way. There's just so much less stress when I'm not expected to do anything. I didn't have to find Chazlyn. That's why looking for her felt so great. If it had been a homework assignment, I wouldn't have done it. While I was sewing, Councilina, Pottawattamie, and Chelsea called to invite us to play Ultimate Frisbee. We admitted to being losers and declined even after they tried to tempt us by saying they would where spandex. I know they were just joking, but it made me think. Are there girls out there that think guys just sit around waiting for opportunities to see girls in tight clothing? Are there girls that see us as being so shallow? That reminds me of an embarrassing moment. In high school art class I was just staring off into space. You know, I just dazed off and was thinking about something random and unimportant. Suddenly I snapped out of it when the girl next to me nudged me and said, "What are you staring at?" It then occurred to me that there was a girl leaning over a desk in front of me with her butt in the air. I immediately turned red and tried to explain myself, but I bet to this day she thinks of me as some pig who does nothing but lust after young girls.

February 24, 2006

I had the day off today, so after class I called Megan to see if she wanted to do anything. When I called she told me that she was on a cruise headed to Mexico with her family. I was amazed. She deserves so many cool points for that. Anyway, I decided that I wanted to top it, so I grabbed my briefcase with my passport and started driving towards Salt Lake. On the way I felt a little uneasy so I turned around and went to wal mart instead. While there I talked to Braxton and tried to think of what I could do to top a spontaneous cruise to Mexico. I decided that there was no way and decided to make her a skirt instead. I bought the fabric and called her roommate Ashly to find out what size to make it. She hasn't called me back yet, so I'll probably start on it tomorrow and try to finish before she returns.

Preposterous

I have a lot of respect and even admiration for the guest blogger of a few days ago, but I just can't let this slide. Monkeys do not peel bananas from the bottom. This photograph proves that a monkey would prefer smoking a banana like a pipe or using it as a spit-wad shooter over peeling it from the bottom. I will admit that maybe at one time monkeys peeled bananas from the bottom, but thanks to evolution and natural selection all of those monkeys either died young or just never had the chance to reproduce. Once monkeys began to peel from the top all the beautiful girl monkeys just couldn't resist them. Then all the bottom-peelers were left without anyone to take to the jungle parties. It got to the point where male bottom-peelers were so undesirable that even female bottom-peelers wouldn't have anything to do with them. The new and improved race of top peelers spread over the earth quicker than you can say Chiquita. If a monkey were to peel a banana from the bottom today, it would be equivalent to me walking around campus with a powdered wig. The only members of the powdered wig race are isolated in British parliament where they will soon die off. If I began to where a powdered wig I would either be trampled upon until I was dead, live a long lonely life and die single, or be exiled to Great Britain with all the other Powdered-wig-people.

Thanks to the curve, my 36 aint so bad

I got back the results from my cell biology test. I made a 36, but the good thing is that a 36 turns out to be a C thanks to the curve. I also got back my Chemistry test. I made a 67, but luckily the class average was a 63 so once again my grade probably turns out to be a C. On my genetics test I made an 84 which was also the class average. So it looks like I am just an average Joe this semester. No major success and no major failure.

A Googol Ways to be Cruel

This isn't Kyle. But I'll tell you what he did today. The only real thing of importance was the preparation and rehearsal of A Million Ways to be Cruel, which is a song and dance number by Ok Go, one which should be viewed by all. Once it's ready, it should be a smash. He went to DI to appropriately update his wardrobe, then went to Dillard's to pick up his cream-colored suit coat. Rehearsal went well.

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye
So you think you can love me and leave me to die

If I could say one thing to everyone in the world, it would be:

Monkeys peel bananas from the bottom!!!!!!!!

Thank you for reading. Kyle will be back to post as normal soon.

Three Day Weekend

Thanks to the fact that we decided to have presidents instead of kings or prime ministers, I don't have to go to school in the morning. Yipidee doo da!!! The weekend has been fun so far. Friday night I got home and no one was here so I built a fort in the living room. It was an okay fort, but I built better ones back when I was in my prime. Saturday I worked most of the day and then after work I talked to Jessica. That was interesting. I hadn't spoken with her since New Years. I did my best to pretend that we never dated and never broke up and I never felt anything for her. I think I did a pretty good job. I was even ready to ask her how Ben was doing, but she had to go before I could bring it up. I think it would be good to keep in touch and talk to her once a month or so, but I couldn't take any more communication than that right now. Hopefully we'll be able to have a normal run of the mill friendship someday. Until then, semi-awkward phone conversations will have to do. Later that night I went over to Megan's house for a dance party. It was the coolest party I have ever been to. We actually danced! Music was played and people danced! They had chips and dip and mints and orange pineapple cookies! It was even fun to mingle and meet all the people that came. Today I just went to church and work and sat around the apartment. Tomorrow, I have no idea.

Cupid's Poor Aim.

Valentine's Day was pretty neat. I was going to just stay home and study all night, but on Sunday Jeremy from work convinced me/committed me to ask someone out. So, that night I asked Chelsea after we played some games at Route 22. I told her to dress formal for the date just because I think it's fun to dress up, but I didn't have anything planned. It was going to be tough because I worked Tuesday and couldn't start the date until Ten. Monday I racked my brain for ideas, Would any restaurants be open? Are there any dances that late? What are we going to do? I didn't want to spend too much money and I can tell that she's the kind of girl that doesn't like guys to spend a lot of money on her. Monday night I went with Gavin to Wal-mart and it inspired me just like it always does. What do people in the movies always do for Valentine's Day? A Candle-lit Dinner! So I bought a red table cloth and candlesticks and a few other items. Tuesday was hectic. I had to take my three hour Cell Biology Test in the morning and then I had a three hour Molecular Biology Lab. I got home and only had thirty minutes to clean the house and finish getting everything ready before I had to go to work. Okay enough of preparations....On to the Date.

I picked her up at Ten and everything seemed to be going pretty good. She looked great in her dress which she partially made(I think that's awesome). We walked into the door and she saw the table set with the candles lit and she was probably surprised(hopefully not freaked out). Dinner was good and then we went to the park to swing, which was a lot of fun, and then we came back to my place for dessert. Chelsea is pretty, really cool, easy to talk to, and fun to hang out with. I must say that I took a shine to her, but unfortunately Cupid's arrow didn't so much as nick her. So, there isn't any point in me pursuing anything more than a friendship at this time. If she doesn't like me, she doesn't like me. I'm just not the kind of guy that will go to any extreme to win a girl's heart. Maybe that's my problem. It's a fact that girls like attention from guys they like, but when guys they don't like give them attention it only causes them stress. In a perfect world if a girl decided she didn't like a certain Gentleman Caller she would simply kick him in the face until he was unconscious. Sure, my nose would be broken 3/4 of the year, but at least there wouldn't be any mixed signals.

Tests

I'm about to go take my chemistry test and my genetics test. Genetics will be open book and open note, but it's timed and the problems are always pretty tough to decipher,but once you figure out what they're asking it's not too tough. Chemistry is going to eat my whole head again. I've studied the concepts, but we've been warned that the problems aren't going to be like anything we have gone over in class. I guess the days of being tested over what you have been taught are a thing of the past. In highschool you're taught how to build a ship in a bottle with only string and small pieces of wood, and then you're tested on whether or not you can tie your shoelaces. In college, they teach you how to balance a chemical equation and then test you over the most efficient way to use cold fusion. I really do enjoy the challenges that college is giving me, but when I don't succeed I can become pretty discouraged.

I have a lot to do in the next couple of days. Sure, I'm dreading my tests, but there are other things that I am really looking forward to.

A one followed by a googol zeroes

Death

A maintenance without interruption of the condition, course, or action or the continuance in the same state without fundamental or marked change of a temporary or final ceasing of all concerned with or necessary to the maintenance of a principle or force that is considered to underlie the distinctive quality of animate beings and the action for which the person or thing is specially fitted or used or for which the thing has real being whether being of a physical or worldly nature or of, relating to, consisting of, or affecting the immaterial intelligent or sentient part of a person.

Chelsea took me to see the cadaver in the anatomy lab this afternoon. It was creepy and the image has been permanently burned into my mind. When I walked into the room I just looked at the floor until Chelsea gave me some gloves and it was time to turn around and tell that cadaver who was boss. It really did look like roast beef. She wasn't kidding. I don't know if Chelsea could tell, but I was starting to feel sick because of the smell of formaldehyde, or whatever preservative they use, and the dead cut open body lying before me. Maybe she COULD tell because we didn't stay long and she seemed surprised when I still wanted to go get roast beef sandwiches at Arby's. I'm glad she suggested it. I love Arby's.

I won't bother mentioning any other parts of the day. They just seem so insignificant when compared to seeing "roast beef" man and eating roast beef.

stuff

Not much to report. I got up and went to class. Everything was normal. I didn't work tonight so I went to FHE. It was fun. We played a form of dodge ball. Then when we got home, we realized that we missed the first 30 minutes of 24. Although I am addicted to the show, I'm not so addicted that I remember to set the VCR before going somewhere. Later on Councilina came over and I teased her and Alan a little bit more. I should get a life. Jack Baur does more in one hour than I have done in the past 21 and 11/12 years.

Another Week Bites the Dust

I made it through another week of school. I did better on my chemistry quiz but I have a long way to go if I hope to win an A. I hate classes that grade on the true curve. It makes the class nothing but competition with everyone else. A common conversation is:
"So, how did you do on the test?"
"It was really hard, but I pulled off an A"
"Crap! I hate you! Get out of my face you grade hog!"
Work also went okay. I did have a few problems with some very picky people though. I think that from now on I'll just refuse to sell suits to them. One guy came up and asked if he could try on a packaged dress shirt. I told them that I could measure him and tell him what size he needed(you see it's a pain to take all those pins and cardboard and plastic things out of a shirt and then try to put them all in again so we usually don't let people try them on.) Well after I gave him that option he said in a rude and short tempered way. "Are you gunna let me try it on or not." Maybe a few years ago I would have said, "Ok sir, I'll let you try it on." buy not now. Now I never let rude people have their way. I will not be bullied into giving anyone special treatment just because they're jerks. My response to this man was, "No." He threw the shirt on the counter and left. It felt great.
In other news, somehow I managed to get another Saturday off from work. I didn't have any plans, other than a review session on campus, so I called up Chelsea and we went to eat some icecream with chopsticks. Then we were going to go swing in the rain and wind, but alas, I locked my keys in the car, so we ended up watching a movie and swapping stories and thoughts. I had a lot of fun and enjoyed Chelsea's company. Hopefully we can do it again sometime.