Friday, May 30, 2008

Creative Genius

Why am I not creative? I see things like family photos of E.T. and Michael Jackson and I think, "Why didn't I think of it first?" Of course! Now that I don't have to waste all my brain on school I should be putting it to good use. I could.....put moustaches on E.T. and Michael Jackson for instance. Or I could add Mr. T and Mary Jane from Spiderman. Then I could have two M.J.s a Mr.T and an E.T. Brilliant. You know, if I quit my job, I could concentrate my efforts on the M.J. squared Mr. E.T. moustache industry. I don't have the guts to do it though. I'm just not good at taking risks. I'll have to eventually though. Otherwise, in 20 years me and Becca will still be living in Provo and I'll still be working at Platinum. No Way. If I don't have a good job when Becca graduates we should start a business where we catch lions in Africa and sharks in....the ocean or wherever sharks are. Then we'll teach the lions to swim and the sharks to walk. Then we'll have a reality T.V. show where the Lions and Sharks have to live together in an apartment with Billy Crystal, Pauly Shore, Richard Simmons, and the blond guy from "Wings". It would be a freaking HIT! I just know it. Here is a list of things I will need to be like the creator of this E.T + MJ photo.
-Creative Genius
-A Creative Outlet
-A Computer with Windows 95 or better
- A Memory of the 80s
- A Supportive Wife
- Sonicare toothbrushes
Wow! I already have 4 of the 7 things! I just need creative genius, a creative outlet, and guts! That should be easy. A quick trip to Wikihow will give me all the information I need.
Okay I searched for "Creative Genius" and I found "How to be a cute genius"
I searched for "A Creative Outlet" and I found "How to install an electrical outlet from scratch"
I searched for "Guts" and I found "How to make fake guts for a Halloween party"
With these new talents, no Halloween party, electrical outletless wall, or genius beauty competition will be the same again!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Two Tickling Toothbrushes Tuesday

Here is a list of Kyle Vaughns who have been married recently or will be married soon.

Kimberly Pflug and Kyle Vaughn Wedding PA 04/15/06

Kate Dennie and Kyle Vaughn Wedding VA 06/21/08

Natalie Edwardson and Kyle Vaughn Wedding TX 06/17/06

Latasha Kelly and Kyle Vaughn Wedding TX 07/19/07

Hailey Vaughn and Kyle Vaughn Wedding AR 01/03/08

Becca Anderson and Kyle Vaughn Wedding CA 05/17/08

April Sanchez and Kyle Vaughn Wedding CA 06/21/08

I'm one of them!!!!!!!!! Isn't it awesome? I'm happy for Kimberly Pflug. She deserves a last name like Vaughn. I also think it's appropriate that Hailey Vaughn and Kyle Vaughn are getting married in Arkansas. Well, I'm back at work after a wedding and a honeymoon. Married life is great. It's treating me well. Now we do things like brush our teeth at the same time and in the same room. Awesome. We got some Sonicare toothbrushes from Becca's parents and we busted them out last night. I was so excited to use them, but there was one little problem.....The moment we put them in our mouths we spit toothpaste all over the bathroom and nearly died laughing. They tickled sooooo much! It was like putting Carrot Top in your mouth it was so funny. It was also a good bonding moment. We could look into each other's eyes as we laughed and sprayed toothpaste into each other's faces.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Days Till I See My Betrothed: 2 more or less

Yesterday I worked from 8am to 9pm. Today I worked from 8am to 9pm. Tomorrow......I won't make it. I think I'll only work till 4. I don't want to die here in my little cubicle with my headset on surrounded by post-it notes. Not a week before my wedding; not with this scratchy beard. Everything is fuzzy right now. I've talked to so many people with so many problems. I feel kind of like I did as a missionary. It's too bad I can't solve people's financial problems by assigning them scriptures to read in the Book of Mormon. Well, I probably could, but I don't know how well that would go over. Skuffs and Rebekah came over with brownies last night. I was going to save some for Becca, but instead I ate them up.

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Days Apart from my Betrothed: 5

Today I set up the TV. It resulted in me getting very little done. I think I invented the most pathetic thing in the world tonight....the act of sitting on the floor alone in a partially furnished apartment watching a chick flick on a Saturday night. I need Becca. Had she been here, I could have done the exact same activity and it would have been perfectly acceptable. A lot more fun too. The best thing of today was having the bed delivered. It'll be nice to have a bed to sleep on tonight. The worst thing of today was finding out that the gas isn't set up and it will take a week to get it set up. That means a week of cold showers, a week of cold nights, and a week of cold food.

You know when you see a panda and then you feel like there are pandas crawling over you all day? Well, the same thing happened to me, only with a bug instead of a panda. I was on the floor watching a chick flick that will remain unnamed. I felt something tickling my neck, reached back, and grabbed one of those Park Place parking lot bugs off of my neck. You know the ones. They're EVERYWHERE! Even here. So now everything feels like one of those disgusting bugs. What I hate about them is that they don't even seem to care how annoying they are. At least spiders will run away and hide. A spider has the motto, "live to annoy another day". A Park Place parking lot bug has the motto, "hmmm....I think I'll crawl on this". Stupid bugs.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Days Apart from my Betrothed: 3

I've been so anxious to move into our new apartment. I woke up early, went to the bank and then wandered around the mall until 2 O'clock when I could finally go to College Park and pick up the key. It was so much fun to open that door and see where Becca and I will be living. I could imagine where we will put the love seat, the TV, the coffee table, the bird cage, the compost heap, the trained walrus. It's going to look great. I moved in some stuff before I left, but there is still a lot to do tonight and tomorrow. Today was really slow at work. It's been hard to get back into the flow of collections. There's another Kyle working here now, so that really throws me off. It messes with my identity. It's so rare that there's another Kyle around. I'm Kyle. I can't wait to fall asleep on our apartment floor. Here's a funny story. I checked our mail and there was a package for Laura DeVore. I thought to myself, "what a coincidence. I know some DeVores." I figured that Brenton's wife must be named Laura or something and DeVore was her maiden name. It turns out that Laura DeVore is the wife of Devin and Darin's brother who lives in a different apartment in our complex. What a small world, eh?