Saturday, March 31, 2007


I have nothing. Well, that's not true. I have a blue can of soda that I painted today. I didn't get the internship in Iowa. Simple logic should have told me I wouldn't get it. Losers never get internships. Kyle is a loser. So, Kyle never gets internships. I just don't want to try anymore. Why bother? "If you want a vision of [Kyle's] future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever."(George Orwell, 1984)

Friday, March 30, 2007

Ripples in Time

When Alan picked up that name tag a year and a half ago, I doubt he had any idea how much it would impact our lives. I am now a Facebook friend with the legendary Kiley, the mystery girl, the sister of Chazlyn. For now it seems like this is as far as the name tag will ever take me, but you never know. The name tag is full of surprises. Maybe five years from now I'll find myself parachuting into the Amazon Jungle like Indiana Jones in search of an ancient artifact. And it will all be due to that magical name tag. When I'm 95 and on my death bed, after I've lived an amazing and adventurous life, after I've raised a family and played with my great-grand children, as I am writing down my life story for future posterity, will my memoirs be self-titled or shall they bear the name CHAZLYN?

Friday, March 23, 2007

The Dating Game

A Guy(Kyle) and his Roommate

R: How'd the date go?
G: If it weren't for one little thing I would marry her right now.
R: Wow. It went that well huh?
G: Yeah. She's absolutely gorgeous, fun, and intelligent, but not stuck up or anything. We hit it off great. It's probably the closest thing to love at first sight that I'll ever encounter. One interesting thing is that she couldn't ever remember my name.
R: What?
G: She called me, Lyle, Ryan, Miles, and I swear I think I heard her call me Steve at the end of the night.
R: Steve?
G: Steve. Or at least I think she said Steve. Maybe she said "See ya".
R: "Steve-uh"........"See ya". That's probably it. Man that's too bad. Did you correct her?
G: That's the weird thing. I never wanted to. It was intriguing. She listened to every word I said and seemed to like me, but just didn't know my name. I figured dates with girls who do know my name never turn out well, so I should try going out with a girl that doesn't.
R: So what was that "one thing" that wasn't good?
G: She failed the iceberg test.
R: Oh no
G: Yep. I went on and on about how it's amazing that only 10 percent of an iceberg is visible and the rest is under the water. I even suggested they should make it more public knowledge to prevent boating accidents. She just agreed with me and acted excited. I need a girl who's honest and doesn't just humor me.
R: Man, that sucks. Watcha gonna do?

A Girl and her Roommate

R: So.....How was it....?
G: Well...He was really cool and....I think I might love him, but there was one problem.
R: Wait just a second! Love?!? Tell me everything!
G: He's pretty good looking, and he made me feel great. It just felt right, you know. We just clicked. I've never felt like that before.
R: Congratulations!
G: He went on and on about icebergs. He was so passionate about it. The way he talked about icebergs made me excited about them. Of course I already know that thing about 90 percent of icebergs being under water, but it really is cool. He was excited, so I got excited.
R: So, What was the problem?
G: He failed the name test?
R: The what?
G: Well, I'm looking for a guy who isn't afraid to correct me. Of course, I don't want him to be mean or anything, but I don't want a "whipped" boyfriend. I want an assertive one who's not afraid to be honest. So, I called him by the wrong name all night.
R: You're weird.
G: I know. But he's weirder! He didn't say anything! I called him Lyle and stuff, but he wasn't saying anything, so at the end of the night I called him Steve and he still said nothing!
R: You called him Steve?
G: And he didn't correct me. Who is this guy?
R: What are you going to do if he asks you out again?

Guy and Girl in Unison

GG: I'll try the car door test.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Field House Fun

Gossip abounds in the Smith Field House. Luckily most of my circumstances are unknown to them, but I think lack of knowledge causes all the more gossip. Whenever I turn a corner and see two of my co-workers, I know they're talking about me. It may seem like paranoia, but I know it's true. Catherine has a crush on me, so planning and scheming is going on to hook us up. I know they don't actually think we would be a good couple. Everyone just wants something to do and this is the best idea they've come up with for entertainment. Yesterday I was approached by a girl who said, "You know Catherine is absolutely in love with you, don't you?" If she likes me, it's only because she doesn't know me. She's heard stories about me from other people at work, and thinks I'm mysterious and exciting. I'm not though, and she would realize it pretty quick. I can be a party pooper. I can be boring. There's really nothing mysterious about me at all. I'm just a regular dude with questionable taste in clothing. Maybe I should just come right out and warn her. It feels good to be liked by someone though. I bet if I just started dating her, I'd grow to like her. I'm sure there's more to her than meets the eye. There always is. But, as my feelings for her grew, her feelings for me would diminish. I'd discover that she's a really great girl, and she'd discover that I'm not what she expected. Then, it would be over, and work would be uncomfortable. I have no choice but to begin Operation: Make Kyle Completely Unattractive to Latin Girls.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

A Tribute to an Amazing Cat

Some of you may not know, but Casey the Cat passed away some time ago. He's survived by his owner, Alan Broadbent. When you go to my blog you can see Casey's smiling face in the top right corner. Some of us knew him well and some only in passing, but he left a lasting impression in all our hearts. I met Casey during the summer last year. I was having a really hard day and found myself at his house to sleep for the night. When I entered the house Casey stopped, looked at me for a moment, and then walked away as if to say, " Brush yourself off and get on with your life. Tomorrow's another day and 7:00 is another hour. Don't let it go to waste!" This advice has served me well this past week especially. He was so wise, and caring. The last time I saw him was December last year. We had a talk that I'll never forget. I was worried about making some big decisions and I was confused about how to proceed. Casey told me, "I know this may not make you feel better now, but one day you'll understand. Even if your dreams don't come true and all your plans fail, it's only because that which goes beyond your dreams and that which you could have never planned for is waiting around the corner. Chin up! Do what you feel is right regardless of the outcome." I feel like I'm still waiting for the day to come when I understand his thoughtful words completely.
We all love you and miss you Casey. Thank you for being a good friend. No one will ever replace the special place we hold for you in our hearts.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Some This and That

I've played my fair share of truth or dare. I, along with almost everyone else, chose truth most of the time. However, on one occasion I was challenged with the most creative dare of my young life. It wasn't the typical running around in your underwear or kissing a girl in the group. I had to give a hug to Mrs. Wilson! She was my frightening 142-and-1/2-years-old-hunch-backed-third-grade-teacher. It was a great dare, because it lasted long after the game ended. Everyone was waiting for me to do it and when I did there was a huge celebration.

Today I wore my wig to meet Cook and his wife. Alan and I aren't quite sure if they knew it was a wig or not. I think they just thought I had woman hair. We rode in a Mustang convertible. Then Five-Buck-Pizza.

Tomorrow was cool. I went to church and got my home teaching done. Then I had to work on some physics homework. I was a little tired because I stayed up really late tonight. About four hours from now I went to Guitars Unplugged with Skuffs and his homedogs. I was hoping to meet some chicks, but I didn't have much luck. I would say that I have better luck next week, but two weeks from now I was in the same position. pupeirt

Saturday, March 10, 2007

As I Await Destiny's Call

I was watching Alan play Zelda this morning. A large part of the game seems to be figuring out what the object of the game really is. If you're not on any particular mission you just walk around trying stuff out. "What'll happen if I pull this, or push this, or jump off this, or set this on fire." That reminds me of my life a little bit. The object of Zelda is to win the game obviously. The main object of life is to be exalted. There's a lot of stuff in between though. There's more to life than just waiting for the Celestial Kingdom train to come pick me up.

I don't plan much and most of the decisions I've made have been pretty random or impulsive. Not all, but most. I'm choosing my own adventure right now. "What'll happen if I go to BYU, major in Molecular Biology, eat some Marshmallow Matey's?" Maybe if I had stayed in Amarillo I would have fallen into drugs, crime and everything else my friends got into. But on the other hand maybe I would have started bringing my friends to church and introducing them to the gospel. Every decision made makes you lose some opportunities and gain some others. It's just important to make good use of your current situation, no matter what it is.

And then there's destiny. When you feel that what you've decided or what has happened is the best possible outcome. I like that feeling. That's when I really get excited.