Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Sitting in a Tree

"It takes two to tango, babe." --GMac

Alan and Councilina sitting in a tree
First comes love
Then comes marriage
The comes Alan pushing a baby carriage!

Alan and Councilina Bluffs are officially dating. I, along with other individuals, knew that they were made for each other. I am very happy for them. Now I get to tease them any time I get the chance, Yea!

As for me... I have been single for almost a month now. That's not too long is it? Whenever I consider getting to know a girl better, I remember the time when a girl tore my heart out and covered it in firecrackers, lit it, and threw it into a twenty-gallon drum of gasoline, and then stomped out the flames with size 16 Combat boots.(Disclaimer: This is a slight exaggeration of how I felt) These memories are by no means enough to keep me from liking girls, but they do result in me being very cautious and less confident than before. If you hit a dog repeatedly with a rolled up newspaper every time it does something wrong, after a short while it will put it's tail between it's legs and run whenever you read the Sunday Comics. Currently girls are newspapers and I'm the abused dog. I know that none of them are rolled up and ready to strike me, but they do have that potential. Bummer. I thought that would be a good analogy of what I'm going through but it makes me look like a wimp that's afraid of his own shadow. I'm also sure that girls wouldn't want to be compared to newspapers, rolled or otherwise. For now I'll try to think of a new analogy while I get out there and meet some new girls, and take it slow. What's the rush?

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Life in the Slow Lane

I did some shopping today. There was a sale at Dillards so I got a pair of navy slacks, a cream colored sportcoat, a lavender tie, and a blue french-cuffed shirt. I ended up spending about 60 bucks, but it isn't bad when you consider that just the slacks themselves would have cost me 95 dollars had I bought them full price. On my way home I called Alan and Gavin. I asked a common question. "What are we going to do today?" We decided on buying massive donuts and going to Del Taco. In an attempt to have some social interaction we thought of who we could call up to come with us. After one failed attempt to call someone we went alone. (On a side note, I just had a run in with some horrible acid reflux. Some stomach acid jumped up my throat and burned me pretty bad. I remembered the simple chemistry that if you mix most acids with bases you end up with water. I have heard that milk is somewhat basic so I chugged some milk, but it didn't help so I ran to Smith's for some emergency antacid. Right when I got back to the car I opened it up and drank it directly from the bottle. The relief was instantaneous and I was left very satisfied with Kroger brand antacid. The mix of massive donut and tacos may be the culprit.) After the trip, we came back to the apartment and Gavin worked on conquering Link, the great Nintendo game, while Alan and I worked on the newspaper ball some more. Then I fell asleep on the floor and woke up to go to the ward bowling activity. I left the activity and walked home alone after five or ten minutes of being there. It's not that I don't like the ward or that I don't like bowling. I even like being in crowds of people(as long as they're complete strangers). I just don't like being in crowds of acquaintances or people that I am supposed to know. It activates my fight or flight response and I chose flight in this instance. As I walked home in the snow there was a young BYU couple walking behind me and I slipped. I didn't fall but I did wave my arms like an idiot to keep my balance. Then I turned and started walking the wrong way just so that the young couple wouldn't still be behind me. I wasn't really embarrassed, but I was afraid that if they continued to walk behind me and I did it a few more times, I WOULD be. While taking my detour I ran across the big stone sphere outside of the JSB. I had my tape measure so I measured its diameter so that I could compare it to the newspaper ball. We still have a ways to go if we want to compete with it. When I got home Lashley called and we got caught up on eachother's lives. Then I saw that my friend Abby called, so I called her back and we had a very pleasant chat. She is in Chicago and her boyfriend is working on getting his PhD. Wow. I will never get a PhD. I'm struggling for a Bachelors degree. Talking with Abby felt good. It's weird to think that we only knew each other for a short while before I left for college and my mission and I haven't seen her since March 3rd, 2003, but we have still managed to keep in touch.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Another Day

I awoke later than I would have hoped.
I ate some knock-off fruity pebbles.
I showered and shaved.
I studied.
I went to Chemistry.
Chemistry ate my whole head.
I sulked.
I got over it.
I studied.
I studied.
I microwaved and ate some frozen burritos.
I goofed off.
I took a nap.
I went to work.
I came home.
I goofed off.
I wrote this.

Now I'll randomly select one of the day's amazing activites to comment on.
aosidjfoiaeoijfoiahds a;sdhfl;auhgfhasdlfhahgiurhgoih"LSDk
;ajds;kjb;fdgbahdfjaijfoheoihqwouehr iuhruhgahhadfh

I always buy frozen burritos and eat them when doused in hot sauce. It is pretty yummy.

This insult goes out to T-N-Y-O. Your timing is a horrible cake-eater, you silly vat of incoherent lint!

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

You Can't Do That on Television

From 1979 to 1990 there was a great show on Nickelodeon called "You Can't do that on Television". It was a sketch comedy show that was put on by kids. In the middle of a scene if anyone said the words, "I don't know" they had slime dumped on them and if they ever mentioned water, a bucket of water would be thrown on them. I always wanted to be slimed. The immitation slime that Nick used on later shows just wasn't the same. This slime was thick and a good color of green and nasty. If you would like to learn more about the show just follow this link www.ycdtotv.com. Oh and if you want to get me an awesome birthday gift, you can try to find some of the episodes for me. Or you could slime me.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Chile con Queso

For the past 6 months or so I have said that there are only two things keeping me from dropping out of school and leaving the country. One of those "things" vanished a few weeks ago and only one is left and I'm starting to question whether or not that one connection is strong enough to keep me from doing it. I have thought a lot about how great it would be to just go back to Chile and leave everything behind. I could sell ice cream on the busses or teach English or work at a department store selling suits. I could return to the US periodically to get a job and earn money and then go back to Chile and live off of that money for a long time. If I got sick of Chile I could go to Europe or anywhere else. I am one hundred percent positive that if my circumstances were just a tiny bit different I would do it. But my situation is what it is and my best option at the moment is to continue with school and get a degree. One thing is certain; however. If the day of graduation arrives and I have no "significant other" or career lined up, I will immediately leave.

Monday, January 23, 2006


The last couple of days have left me feeling like a vampire has sucked all my blood, or maybe like I am a tiny person and a three pound mosquito has been latched on to me since my ninth birthday. I had to do inventory at work. Saturday I worked from 9:45 am to 3:00 Pm and then went back to work and stayed from 9:00 pm until 4:00 am. I was so worn out that when I woke up on Sunday my roommates were already back from church. Then yesterday I worked from 3:00pm until 3:00am. Torture.

The weekend wasn't a total waste however. On Saturday during my time off I was able to enjoy a thrilling game of Catch Phrase with Alan, Gavin, Councilina Bluffs, Chelsea, Pottowattamie, and Whitney. Fun was had by all. We even found another use for the newspaper ball: You can pass it around and use the words on it to play Catch Phrase.(I can't believe we didn't think of it sooner). Even though I'm behind on my schoolwork I am very happy that my time off was spent having fun and not doing homework. Oh well, I suppose that I shouldn't waste all my tuition money. In fact I need to go to my Cell Biology class right now. Good Bye.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

A Great Blessing

It's a miracle! Intrepid is alive! I am so grateful to the nice lady at the local Checkers Car Parts store, the manager of the apartments where I live, and Alan for all their help. Thanks to their quick thinking and knowledge we were able to free her from the cold and unforgiving grip of death. Today I'm just going to let her rest, but tomorrow we'll be back on the road. I'm afraid that even on this day of miracles I have some unsettling news to report... I had to drop my sewing class. I was sitting in class today, working on some samples that will be due soon and I realized that in order to finish them I would have to come in outside of class to work on them. Normally I wouldn't mind, but I already spend 8 hours a week in that class. After considering that this class will not give me credit towards my major, minor, or GE requirements in any way and that dropping it would free up 8 hours a week that could be used to study, travel, meet new people, serve in the community, draw, write my memoirs, date, cook, organize my affairs, do laundry, call my family, add to the apartment newspaper ball, teach myself how to sew, buy food, add phone numbers to my cell phone, change my screensaver, suck the helium out of balloons and sing Interpol songs, contemplate my purpose in this world, become certified in CPR, live life to its fullest, laugh, cry, borrow things and then return them promptly, expand my vocabulary, reestablish contact with long lost acquaintances, study, make snap judgments, whittle, beat Gavin in a game of one-on-one, whistle, develop courage, fix the blinds, joust, tell stories, listen to stories, go to Brazil and annoy Cuonicl Buflfs, and juggle, I decided that dropping the course was my only real option.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006


My car is dead. The poor Intrepid made a few croaking noises yesterday, but today only silence. I would like to take a moment to remember some of the good times we have shared. One day while I was in Oregon I decided that I wanted to buy a car. I went to a lot and the first car I saw was the beautiful bluish-green 1997 Dodge Intrepid. Until that moment I didn't believe in love at first site. I rushed to the bank the next day and pulled out a large chunk of my savings so that I could pay cash for my new car. She was too precious for monthly payments, I wanted her to be mine immediately. Even if I had known that our time together would be so short I still would have taken her home with me. Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

We have been on many adventures since that moment. I had to leave Oregon sooner that expected and my Intrepid took me all the way to my new home in Utah. She didn't complain or ask why. She just knew that I needed her and she did what she could to make my journey comfortable. In Utah she took me to find my new job and helped me get groceries and supplies for my new home. She was always so reliable. We got into trouble in Idaho as we searched for the elusive Civil defense Caves. We accidentally took a wrong turn and ended up on a dangerous dirt road not even suitable for a Monster Truck. Poor Intrepid received many wounds on this trip as she tried to protect me and my friends, but she got us out safe and carried us all the way back to Utah. Later my daring Intrepid accompanied me on a second attempt to conquer the caves. This time we found them and she waited outside as another friend and I explored the caves' depths. Just before Christmas we came home from work and I decided that I wanted to go to Las Vegas. I made reservations at the Sahara and surprised Intrepid in the morning. She was so excited. That's one thing I really love about her. She is always ready to pick up and go somewhere at a moments notice. It kills me to see her like this. She can't move. I turn the key and nothing happens. I don't know how I could go on without her. I can't! I can't go on without her! I have to save her! SURELY SOMETHING CAN BE DONE!