Wednesday, April 14, 2010

When I was Nine

If nine-year-old Kyle were to talk to me now he'd say...

What happened to your dream of being a kindergarten cop?! You were going to go undercover and catch bad guys while showing kindergarten kids how cool you are. And why aren't you friends with Garrett anymore. You didn't even invite him to your wedding! He was supposed to be your best man! Oh, well, it's cool that you're married. It's cool that you can drive and buy things with credit cards and stuff. Utah's kind of boring, but you're a scientist. That's awesome! You get to where a lab coat and use a microscope! There are some things you need to do right now. First, start that knife collection that mom wouldn't let you have for fear of you sleep walking and murdering the entire family. Then, learn to play the guitar. You're no one if you're not in a band! That's pretty much it. Bye.

Wow, I think I may have disappointed nine-year-old Kyle, but I have a feeling that he'll be happy when he gets to where I am.

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

The Appearance of Evil

So, here's what's up. LDS folks don't drink alcohol or coffee. What do we do for fun?! That's why we should open a bar/hot chocolate place called "The Appearance of Evil" (Borrowed from 1 Thessalonians 5:22 ). We'll only serve virgin drinks, near beer, and fancy hot chocolates. Now we'll have a place to meet people, unwind, talk about our problems, and have a good time. We'll just make sure people have a designated driver in case they've had one Shirley Temple or Roy Rogers too many.

Would it fly? I've hear of people going to Applebee's for virgin drinks. They spend five or six bucks for a glorified fruit juice. And tons of people go to Starbucks for a hot chocolate or caramel apple cider. Why not have fun mixed drinks in cool glasses with fancy garnishes and a delicious variety of hot chocolates and ciders all in one place?