Thursday, February 23, 2006


I have a lot of respect and even admiration for the guest blogger of a few days ago, but I just can't let this slide. Monkeys do not peel bananas from the bottom. This photograph proves that a monkey would prefer smoking a banana like a pipe or using it as a spit-wad shooter over peeling it from the bottom. I will admit that maybe at one time monkeys peeled bananas from the bottom, but thanks to evolution and natural selection all of those monkeys either died young or just never had the chance to reproduce. Once monkeys began to peel from the top all the beautiful girl monkeys just couldn't resist them. Then all the bottom-peelers were left without anyone to take to the jungle parties. It got to the point where male bottom-peelers were so undesirable that even female bottom-peelers wouldn't have anything to do with them. The new and improved race of top peelers spread over the earth quicker than you can say Chiquita. If a monkey were to peel a banana from the bottom today, it would be equivalent to me walking around campus with a powdered wig. The only members of the powdered wig race are isolated in British parliament where they will soon die off. If I began to where a powdered wig I would either be trampled upon until I was dead, live a long lonely life and die single, or be exiled to Great Britain with all the other Powdered-wig-people.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Thanks to the curve, my 36 aint so bad

I got back the results from my cell biology test. I made a 36, but the good thing is that a 36 turns out to be a C thanks to the curve. I also got back my Chemistry test. I made a 67, but luckily the class average was a 63 so once again my grade probably turns out to be a C. On my genetics test I made an 84 which was also the class average. So it looks like I am just an average Joe this semester. No major success and no major failure.

Monday, February 20, 2006

A Googol Ways to be Cruel

This isn't Kyle. But I'll tell you what he did today. The only real thing of importance was the preparation and rehearsal of A Million Ways to be Cruel, which is a song and dance number by Ok Go, one which should be viewed by all. Once it's ready, it should be a smash. He went to DI to appropriately update his wardrobe, then went to Dillard's to pick up his cream-colored suit coat. Rehearsal went well.

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye
So you think you can love me and leave me to die

If I could say one thing to everyone in the world, it would be:

Monkeys peel bananas from the bottom!!!!!!!!

Thank you for reading. Kyle will be back to post as normal soon.

Three Day Weekend

Thanks to the fact that we decided to have presidents instead of kings or prime ministers, I don't have to go to school in the morning. Yipidee doo da!!! The weekend has been fun so far. Friday night I got home and no one was here so I built a fort in the living room. It was an okay fort, but I built better ones back when I was in my prime. Saturday I worked most of the day and then after work I talked to Jessica. That was interesting. I hadn't spoken with her since New Years. I did my best to pretend that we never dated and never broke up and I never felt anything for her. I think I did a pretty good job. I was even ready to ask her how Ben was doing, but she had to go before I could bring it up. I think it would be good to keep in touch and talk to her once a month or so, but I couldn't take any more communication than that right now. Hopefully we'll be able to have a normal run of the mill friendship someday. Until then, semi-awkward phone conversations will have to do. Later that night I went over to Megan's house for a dance party. It was the coolest party I have ever been to. We actually danced! Music was played and people danced! They had chips and dip and mints and orange pineapple cookies! It was even fun to mingle and meet all the people that came. Today I just went to church and work and sat around the apartment. Tomorrow, I have no idea.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Cupid's Poor Aim.

Valentine's Day was pretty neat. I was going to just stay home and study all night, but on Sunday Jeremy from work convinced me/committed me to ask someone out. So, that night I asked Chelsea after we played some games at Route 22. I told her to dress formal for the date just because I think it's fun to dress up, but I didn't have anything planned. It was going to be tough because I worked Tuesday and couldn't start the date until Ten. Monday I racked my brain for ideas, Would any restaurants be open? Are there any dances that late? What are we going to do? I didn't want to spend too much money and I can tell that she's the kind of girl that doesn't like guys to spend a lot of money on her. Monday night I went with Gavin to Wal-mart and it inspired me just like it always does. What do people in the movies always do for Valentine's Day? A Candle-lit Dinner! So I bought a red table cloth and candlesticks and a few other items. Tuesday was hectic. I had to take my three hour Cell Biology Test in the morning and then I had a three hour Molecular Biology Lab. I got home and only had thirty minutes to clean the house and finish getting everything ready before I had to go to work. Okay enough of preparations....On to the Date.

I picked her up at Ten and everything seemed to be going pretty good. She looked great in her dress which she partially made(I think that's awesome). We walked into the door and she saw the table set with the candles lit and she was probably surprised(hopefully not freaked out). Dinner was good and then we went to the park to swing, which was a lot of fun, and then we came back to my place for dessert. Chelsea is pretty, really cool, easy to talk to, and fun to hang out with. I must say that I took a shine to her, but unfortunately Cupid's arrow didn't so much as nick her. So, there isn't any point in me pursuing anything more than a friendship at this time. If she doesn't like me, she doesn't like me. I'm just not the kind of guy that will go to any extreme to win a girl's heart. Maybe that's my problem. It's a fact that girls like attention from guys they like, but when guys they don't like give them attention it only causes them stress. In a perfect world if a girl decided she didn't like a certain Gentleman Caller she would simply kick him in the face until he was unconscious. Sure, my nose would be broken 3/4 of the year, but at least there wouldn't be any mixed signals.

Monday, February 13, 2006


I'm about to go take my chemistry test and my genetics test. Genetics will be open book and open note, but it's timed and the problems are always pretty tough to decipher,but once you figure out what they're asking it's not too tough. Chemistry is going to eat my whole head again. I've studied the concepts, but we've been warned that the problems aren't going to be like anything we have gone over in class. I guess the days of being tested over what you have been taught are a thing of the past. In highschool you're taught how to build a ship in a bottle with only string and small pieces of wood, and then you're tested on whether or not you can tie your shoelaces. In college, they teach you how to balance a chemical equation and then test you over the most efficient way to use cold fusion. I really do enjoy the challenges that college is giving me, but when I don't succeed I can become pretty discouraged.

I have a lot to do in the next couple of days. Sure, I'm dreading my tests, but there are other things that I am really looking forward to.

Thursday, February 09, 2006


A maintenance without interruption of the condition, course, or action or the continuance in the same state without fundamental or marked change of a temporary or final ceasing of all concerned with or necessary to the maintenance of a principle or force that is considered to underlie the distinctive quality of animate beings and the action for which the person or thing is specially fitted or used or for which the thing has real being whether being of a physical or worldly nature or of, relating to, consisting of, or affecting the immaterial intelligent or sentient part of a person.

Chelsea took me to see the cadaver in the anatomy lab this afternoon. It was creepy and the image has been permanently burned into my mind. When I walked into the room I just looked at the floor until Chelsea gave me some gloves and it was time to turn around and tell that cadaver who was boss. It really did look like roast beef. She wasn't kidding. I don't know if Chelsea could tell, but I was starting to feel sick because of the smell of formaldehyde, or whatever preservative they use, and the dead cut open body lying before me. Maybe she COULD tell because we didn't stay long and she seemed surprised when I still wanted to go get roast beef sandwiches at Arby's. I'm glad she suggested it. I love Arby's.

I won't bother mentioning any other parts of the day. They just seem so insignificant when compared to seeing "roast beef" man and eating roast beef.

Monday, February 06, 2006


Not much to report. I got up and went to class. Everything was normal. I didn't work tonight so I went to FHE. It was fun. We played a form of dodge ball. Then when we got home, we realized that we missed the first 30 minutes of 24. Although I am addicted to the show, I'm not so addicted that I remember to set the VCR before going somewhere. Later on Councilina came over and I teased her and Alan a little bit more. I should get a life. Jack Baur does more in one hour than I have done in the past 21 and 11/12 years.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Another Week Bites the Dust

I made it through another week of school. I did better on my chemistry quiz but I have a long way to go if I hope to win an A. I hate classes that grade on the true curve. It makes the class nothing but competition with everyone else. A common conversation is:
"So, how did you do on the test?"
"It was really hard, but I pulled off an A"
"Crap! I hate you! Get out of my face you grade hog!"
Work also went okay. I did have a few problems with some very picky people though. I think that from now on I'll just refuse to sell suits to them. One guy came up and asked if he could try on a packaged dress shirt. I told them that I could measure him and tell him what size he needed(you see it's a pain to take all those pins and cardboard and plastic things out of a shirt and then try to put them all in again so we usually don't let people try them on.) Well after I gave him that option he said in a rude and short tempered way. "Are you gunna let me try it on or not." Maybe a few years ago I would have said, "Ok sir, I'll let you try it on." buy not now. Now I never let rude people have their way. I will not be bullied into giving anyone special treatment just because they're jerks. My response to this man was, "No." He threw the shirt on the counter and left. It felt great.
In other news, somehow I managed to get another Saturday off from work. I didn't have any plans, other than a review session on campus, so I called up Chelsea and we went to eat some icecream with chopsticks. Then we were going to go swing in the rain and wind, but alas, I locked my keys in the car, so we ended up watching a movie and swapping stories and thoughts. I had a lot of fun and enjoyed Chelsea's company. Hopefully we can do it again sometime.