Sunday, October 29, 2006

Superman does look a little bit like me.

Thanks to HOOOWWWWhit! I took the picture of me from her blog. I think I look more concerned for the human race than he does.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

A Quicky

Council Bluffs wanted me to update my blog, so I just copied his blog and made a few changes so that it applies to me.....kind of.

Resist Them

Man, so much to say. First of all I approve of chips and Salsa. I approve of milk and cookies and think Amber should be more flirtatious and send more hints. I approve of Burritos and buritto sauce, Councilina shouldn't go to Israel cause she has to hang out with us. Council Bluffs needs to show more interest in Amber as well. Two teachers this week just started talking to me about genetics cause they had stuff they had to tell someone. It was really interesting what I learned. It's funny how everyone is SICK of dating and then we got this talk in Priesthood session about dating. There were multiple things I didn't agree with, but Council Bluffs sustains them so I need to get goin and do it too. Because the Stake Presidency is really pushing dating and getting married, I think Bishop should start breaking people up. We've brainstormed this and came up with everybody in the ward writing down 5 people that are already in serious relationships. Bishop takes the results and encourages whoever he needs to, to ask out certain people who already have boyfriends or girlfriends.

I got chewed out by no one with an ego on Monday. Not a funny story.Yesterday I was trying to find who on campus could make fake ID's. People transferred me all over and then I was talking with this one guy for like a minute and then we both realized who each other was. It was "Bone-Crusher". We were both talking with our "disguised" voices and didn't realize who it was. Ha, it was pretty funny.

Ugh, Bush is allowing a fence to be built on the Moon. The statue of Liberty reads: "Give me your tired, your poor,Your blah blah blah."I don't think a fence is the best way to represent our ideals. We should throw some pumpkins off the Moon.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

The Results Are In

The results are in. It turns out that the true X-Factor is Gatorade. Last night it was confirmed by a girl who was drawn out of her apartment and into mine due to my possession of this splendid beverage. The downside is that Gatorade can cost up to a dollar a bottle. It might not be worth it. Like Jerry Seinfeld says: We as an organization are getting more women than any other organization in the world. Apparently we're doing just fine already. However, it is nice to know that if you want that extra edge, and there's a special young lady that needs some help seeing how wonderful you are, Gatorade is an option.

I almost had a quarter-life crisis. My friends from High School are designing and selling clothes in New York. I was jealous of them. I felt like they were living the life I wanted to live. I felt like they were successful and I was a failure. I felt like I had nothing to show for the past five years of my life. Then, I realized that what I was feeling wasn't actually a desire to live in New York and design clothes. It was just the feeling that I'm not living up to my potential. I wrote one of these friends and he wrote back. I was afraid that he was going to think my life was boring and lame. He didn't though. Like a friend of mine told me during my crisis, "It's cool to be Mormon." I was a missionary in Chile for two years. That's not a week long vacation with family. It's hardcore. I think I forget that, since everyone around me has done the same thing. Here I'm just another face in the crowd, but I'm sure it's the same way for them. Among their friends, everyone goes to art school, lives in New York, and goes to galleries, performances, and artsy parties. We live different lifestyles now, but one isn't cooler than the other. Their just different. I can't wait for my mid-life crisis. It's gonna be crazy-go-nuts.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Okay Men...Listen up.

We've heard of it before. The "X-Factor". What is it? Our covert operatives have given us glimpses of its meaning, but all we can gather is that it's something that we must have in order to trick girls into liking us while blinding them from seeing any of our faults. I've done some research on the subject so that we as an organization can mass produce this "X-Factor" and take over the world! I'll start out by giving some preliminary results of my research.

Possible meanings of X-Factor.

1. X-Factor - A British reality show very similar to American Idol, except that it allows both single performers and groups to compete.

2. X-Factor - A comic book series published by Marvel Comics. Since its February 1986 inception, the book has been cancelled and relaunched several times, each relaunch featuring a different superhero team semi-related to the team featured in the book's previous run. All of the teams featured in X-Factor are spin offs of the popular X-Men franchise. According to Marvel, it's also the name of the gene responsible for most, but not all, the superheroes on Earth.

3. X-Factor - A heel professional wrestling stable in the World Wide Wrestling federation led by X-Pac that featured Justin Credible, and Albert.

4. X- Factor- the name of an album released by Iron Maiden in 1995. It is known as the darkest and most unpopular album in the band's history.

5. Factor X- A coagulation factor that is converted to an enzyme that converts prothrombin to thrombin in a reaction that depends on calcium ions and other coagulation factors. The gene is located on the thirteenth chromosome. It cannot be purchased, but can be collected from fresh frozen human plasma.

6. X- Factor- A series of Gatorade flavors released in 2004.
X-Factor Fruit Punch + Berry (red)
X-Factor Orange + Tropical Fruit (red-orange)
X-Factor Lemon-lime + Strawberry (yellow-green)

7. X- Factor- A title given to the theory that women are more complex genetically than men due to their second X chromosome. New research reveals that the X chromosome may be responsible not only for determining the female gender but also for the evolution of some of the most human of human traits: language, intelligence and culture.

Some of these definitions can be ruled out. I don't think girls as a collective like comic books, wrestling, Iron Maiden, or the British. As for definition number five, we all already have this floating around in our blood. That leaves number 6 and 7. I will have to do a few experiments to determine which is the real X- factor, but I currently believe that it will be found in the exploration of definition seven. If it be that women want us to be women also..... Forget it! It's not worth it. But I believe the true secret lies in the last part of the definition. Language, intelligence, and culture. It may be that as Men we forget that we do have an X chromosome, so we spend too much time focusing on the Y chromosome. Maybe we should spend time developing the way we speak to girls and people in general. We should also expand our knowledge and study the important things in life. We should broaden our horizons and learn to appreciate and love art, poetry, theater, and classical music. This may be the key. This may be Factor X, but to be sure, I will randomly select individuals from our organization and randomly assign them to three groups. One will work on language, intelligence, and culture. The second will constantly drink Gatorade and offer it to girls, and the third will be a control group who will continue to use our current tactics, ie. honking, whistling, asking if we can get some, "fries with that shake." I'll post the results at a later date. Thank you for your time. That is all.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Busy Bee

We went to the canyon today to enjoy the fall leaves. It was a nice day, but the bees wouldn't let us be. Get it. Let us BEEEEEEEE. Anyway, I don't think I've accomplished this much in a week since I was a missionary. I went to all my classes (except one), worked twenty hours at the Fieldhouse, spent 22 hours in the lab, took three exams, finished all my assignments, caught up on all my reading, cleaned my room, the living room, and the bathroom with Cannon, hiked to Stewart Falls, and went on a date. I'm exhausted, but it feels good to know that everything is ready for next week. I can actually relax now. It'll be good. There's so much more I'd like to post, but most of it wouldn't make any sense. How do you explain a polygamist family council between two apartments?

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Drastic Change

Change is just a part of life. At times our job is to just deal with it and accept it. I've decided that I can't go on like this. I've made a decision and that decision is final. The fear of what people will think creeps into my mind no matter how hard I try to ignore it. Especially my parents. I'm practically rebelling against how they raised me. I hope my friends will support me. I mean, if they really are my friends, they'll support me even if they don't agree with what I'm doing. Well, I shouldn't care what anyone thinks anyway. It's MY LIFE for cryin' out loud. It's not like I'm breaking any commandments or anything. I can still be a good member of the church, and if things don't work out I should be able to return to the way things were. What's the worst that could happen? I've heard of other people doing it and it's worked out for THEM, so why wouldn't it work out for ME? People just need to understand that there isn't a clear cut right and wrong in every case. We have our agency for a reason. Just because I'm leaving the path I originally had planned out, doesn't mean that I'm doing something horribly wrong. To each his own. Maybe I just have different needs than those of my parents when they were my age. Maybe life just has something different in store for me. I'm sure that years from now, I won't regret this decision. It needs to be done. If I don't do it now, I'll spend my life wondering, "What if?" I don't know how I'm going to tell everyone. It's scary. What will I say? How will they react? I talked about it with Alan for a little bit. He probably just thought I was joking though. I wasn't. I'm not. Well here it goes. I'm just going to come out and say it. I beg of everyone, please don't judge me. I've really thought this through. It costs the same. It tastes a little different, but not with Fruity Dino-bites. That's right everyone, I'm switching to 2% Milk. My days of whole milk are through. There. I said it.