Am I weird?

Today a girl asked me if I was pre-med. When I said no she responded with, "Oh, so you're just going to Graduate school then." When I said no again she asked with a puzzled look on her face, "Then what are you going to do with your degree?!?" I'll do what I want with it! Maybe I'll use it as scratch paper or carry it around like a hanky and blow my nose into it! I'm sorry if getting a bachelor's degree isn't good enough for you. Am I the only person in the world that's anxious to be done with school? I've been going to school since I was five. That's long enough. It's not like going to school puts off anything. Right now I work AND go to school. When I'm done with school, I'll just have work! A huge chunk of my time will be restored to me. At school you have five or six bosses that never coordinate and demand ridiculous amounts of work from you. It's not like that in any job I've had before. One supervisor. One person to please. That's the life. My Professor in the Lab! My teachers! My boss at work! Cleaning inspections at home! There's no escape! Too much grading! Too much judging!

I was frustrated when I got home, so I move the refrigerator and noticed that there wasn't linoleum underneath it. Oh wait....There was linoleum underneath it, just hidden under years of grime. I got to cleaning. I felt good. Something accomplished. No one told me to do it, so no one has the right to say I did a bad job.

Superman does look a little bit like me.

Thanks to HOOOWWWWhit! I took the picture of me from her blog. I think I look more concerned for the human race than he does.

A Quicky

Council Bluffs wanted me to update my blog, so I just copied his blog and made a few changes so that it applies to me.....kind of.


Resist Them

Man, so much to say. First of all I approve of chips and Salsa. I approve of milk and cookies and think Amber should be more flirtatious and send more hints. I approve of Burritos and buritto sauce, Councilina shouldn't go to Israel cause she has to hang out with us. Council Bluffs needs to show more interest in Amber as well. Two teachers this week just started talking to me about genetics cause they had stuff they had to tell someone. It was really interesting what I learned. It's funny how everyone is SICK of dating and then we got this talk in Priesthood session about dating. There were multiple things I didn't agree with, but Council Bluffs sustains them so I need to get goin and do it too. Because the Stake Presidency is really pushing dating and getting married, I think Bishop should start breaking people up. We've brainstormed this and came up with everybody in the ward writing down 5 people that are already in serious relationships. Bishop takes the results and encourages whoever he needs to, to ask out certain people who already have boyfriends or girlfriends.

I got chewed out by no one with an ego on Monday. Not a funny story.Yesterday I was trying to find who on campus could make fake ID's. People transferred me all over and then I was talking with this one guy for like a minute and then we both realized who each other was. It was "Bone-Crusher". We were both talking with our "disguised" voices and didn't realize who it was. Ha, it was pretty funny.

Ugh, Bush is allowing a fence to be built on the Moon. The statue of Liberty reads: "Give me your tired, your poor,Your blah blah blah."I don't think a fence is the best way to represent our ideals. We should throw some pumpkins off the Moon.

The Results Are In

The results are in. It turns out that the true X-Factor is Gatorade. Last night it was confirmed by a girl who was drawn out of her apartment and into mine due to my possession of this splendid beverage. The downside is that Gatorade can cost up to a dollar a bottle. It might not be worth it. Like Jerry Seinfeld says: We as an organization are getting more women than any other organization in the world. Apparently we're doing just fine already. However, it is nice to know that if you want that extra edge, and there's a special young lady that needs some help seeing how wonderful you are, Gatorade is an option.

I almost had a quarter-life crisis. My friends from High School are designing and selling clothes in New York. I was jealous of them. I felt like they were living the life I wanted to live. I felt like they were successful and I was a failure. I felt like I had nothing to show for the past five years of my life. Then, I realized that what I was feeling wasn't actually a desire to live in New York and design clothes. It was just the feeling that I'm not living up to my potential. I wrote one of these friends and he wrote back. I was afraid that he was going to think my life was boring and lame. He didn't though. Like a friend of mine told me during my crisis, "It's cool to be Mormon." I was a missionary in Chile for two years. That's not a week long vacation with family. It's hardcore. I think I forget that, since everyone around me has done the same thing. Here I'm just another face in the crowd, but I'm sure it's the same way for them. Among their friends, everyone goes to art school, lives in New York, and goes to galleries, performances, and artsy parties. We live different lifestyles now, but one isn't cooler than the other. Their just different. I can't wait for my mid-life crisis. It's gonna be crazy-go-nuts.

Okay Men...Listen up.

We've heard of it before. The "X-Factor". What is it? Our covert operatives have given us glimpses of its meaning, but all we can gather is that it's something that we must have in order to trick girls into liking us while blinding them from seeing any of our faults. I've done some research on the subject so that we as an organization can mass produce this "X-Factor" and take over the world! I'll start out by giving some preliminary results of my research.

Possible meanings of X-Factor.

1. X-Factor - A British reality show very similar to American Idol, except that it allows both single performers and groups to compete.

2. X-Factor - A comic book series published by Marvel Comics. Since its February 1986 inception, the book has been cancelled and relaunched several times, each relaunch featuring a different superhero team semi-related to the team featured in the book's previous run. All of the teams featured in X-Factor are spin offs of the popular X-Men franchise. According to Marvel, it's also the name of the gene responsible for most, but not all, the superheroes on Earth.

3. X-Factor - A heel professional wrestling stable in the World Wide Wrestling federation led by X-Pac that featured Justin Credible, and Albert.

4. X- Factor- the name of an album released by Iron Maiden in 1995. It is known as the darkest and most unpopular album in the band's history.

5. Factor X- A coagulation factor that is converted to an enzyme that converts prothrombin to thrombin in a reaction that depends on calcium ions and other coagulation factors. The gene is located on the thirteenth chromosome. It cannot be purchased, but can be collected from fresh frozen human plasma.

6. X- Factor- A series of Gatorade flavors released in 2004.
X-Factor Fruit Punch + Berry (red)
X-Factor Orange + Tropical Fruit (red-orange)
X-Factor Lemon-lime + Strawberry (yellow-green)

7. X- Factor- A title given to the theory that women are more complex genetically than men due to their second X chromosome. New research reveals that the X chromosome may be responsible not only for determining the female gender but also for the evolution of some of the most human of human traits: language, intelligence and culture.

Some of these definitions can be ruled out. I don't think girls as a collective like comic books, wrestling, Iron Maiden, or the British. As for definition number five, we all already have this floating around in our blood. That leaves number 6 and 7. I will have to do a few experiments to determine which is the real X- factor, but I currently believe that it will be found in the exploration of definition seven. If it be that women want us to be women also..... Forget it! It's not worth it. But I believe the true secret lies in the last part of the definition. Language, intelligence, and culture. It may be that as Men we forget that we do have an X chromosome, so we spend too much time focusing on the Y chromosome. Maybe we should spend time developing the way we speak to girls and people in general. We should also expand our knowledge and study the important things in life. We should broaden our horizons and learn to appreciate and love art, poetry, theater, and classical music. This may be the key. This may be Factor X, but to be sure, I will randomly select individuals from our organization and randomly assign them to three groups. One will work on language, intelligence, and culture. The second will constantly drink Gatorade and offer it to girls, and the third will be a control group who will continue to use our current tactics, ie. honking, whistling, asking if we can get some, "fries with that shake." I'll post the results at a later date. Thank you for your time. That is all.

Busy Bee

We went to the canyon today to enjoy the fall leaves. It was a nice day, but the bees wouldn't let us be. Get it. Let us BEEEEEEEE. Anyway, I don't think I've accomplished this much in a week since I was a missionary. I went to all my classes (except one), worked twenty hours at the Fieldhouse, spent 22 hours in the lab, took three exams, finished all my assignments, caught up on all my reading, cleaned my room, the living room, and the bathroom with Cannon, hiked to Stewart Falls, and went on a date. I'm exhausted, but it feels good to know that everything is ready for next week. I can actually relax now. It'll be good. There's so much more I'd like to post, but most of it wouldn't make any sense. How do you explain a polygamist family council between two apartments?

Drastic Change

Change is just a part of life. At times our job is to just deal with it and accept it. I've decided that I can't go on like this. I've made a decision and that decision is final. The fear of what people will think creeps into my mind no matter how hard I try to ignore it. Especially my parents. I'm practically rebelling against how they raised me. I hope my friends will support me. I mean, if they really are my friends, they'll support me even if they don't agree with what I'm doing. Well, I shouldn't care what anyone thinks anyway. It's MY LIFE for cryin' out loud. It's not like I'm breaking any commandments or anything. I can still be a good member of the church, and if things don't work out I should be able to return to the way things were. What's the worst that could happen? I've heard of other people doing it and it's worked out for THEM, so why wouldn't it work out for ME? People just need to understand that there isn't a clear cut right and wrong in every case. We have our agency for a reason. Just because I'm leaving the path I originally had planned out, doesn't mean that I'm doing something horribly wrong. To each his own. Maybe I just have different needs than those of my parents when they were my age. Maybe life just has something different in store for me. I'm sure that years from now, I won't regret this decision. It needs to be done. If I don't do it now, I'll spend my life wondering, "What if?" I don't know how I'm going to tell everyone. It's scary. What will I say? How will they react? I talked about it with Alan for a little bit. He probably just thought I was joking though. I wasn't. I'm not. Well here it goes. I'm just going to come out and say it. I beg of everyone, please don't judge me. I've really thought this through. It costs the same. It tastes a little different, but not with Fruity Dino-bites. That's right everyone, I'm switching to 2% Milk. My days of whole milk are through. There. I said it.

Parasites

This is a photograph of me back when I was an ultra focused missionary. Look at how young and handsome I used to be. What happened? I suppose the years are taking their toll.

This has been a great Sunday so far. Testimony meeting was wonderful and Chelsea's class was fun. I wanted to go to Pottawattamie's class too. Darn that Council Bluffs. Like Alan says, he really is the cause and solution to all of our problems. He should know better than to have them both teach the same week. It looks like a parasite has settled in my blog's comment box. Feel free to leave him comments too. Just specify who the comment is for. If someone leaves the comment, "YOU SUCK! DIE!", we would like to know to whom it is directed. I like that his blogs have an easy to follow format. If you could care less about his classes, you can just skip over it. If you're interested to see his thoughts on the opposite sex, it's easy to find. I might try a similar approach.

Stuff about things

I have some glow-in-the-dark footprints going up my bedroom wall. To enter my room when the door is closed, you have to do a secret handshake. I've never sucked the marrow out of a bone. I've never tried sushi.

Other stuff

Yesterday I had a lot of déjà vu . It usually happens when I get stressed out. I haven't felt too stressed though, and I don't have the heartburn that usually goes with it. It first started happening when I was in high school. I thought I had a tumor. I didn't though. Or maybe I did, and do, since I never checked it out. Frequent sensations of déjà vu are associated with schizophrenia and anxiety. Schizophrenia does run in my family, but every year past my 19th birthday, the lower my chances of developing it (If I don't have it already). F6 and Route 22 could easily be figments of my imagination. They're all so weird. Real people don't act like we do. Real people don't do the things we do.

Miscellaneous stuff

I hope this format helps everyone get through my blog more quickly. Feel free to skip any boring parts. Good day.

Super

There is no resemblance between the two of us. But. There will be. I love a challenge.

Rejected

I turned down a job. It rocked. I went in to the interview lookin' real sharp and all confident and such. I said all the right things in the interview and tried to portray myself as the model employee. Then he asked why I was interested in working at Sento. I said straight up that the tuition reimbursement is what made me consider them. Then he got all nervous and tiptoed around the whole tuition thing. He didn't know any details and I figured the tuition reimbursement wasn't what it seemed. I started to negotiate a higher pay, but he made it sound like he has no control over it and every one starts with the same pay. After he said that I could work there and was showing me the shifts I could work, I told him that I wasn't going to take the job. Then I walked out and drove home. HA! That shows you and your kind! WASTE OUR TIME WITH APPLICATIONS THAT ARE NEVER CONSIDERED AND EMPTY PROMISES OF PROMOTION AND HIGHER WAGES!!!!! Well now I'll waste YOUR time! I'll turn YOU down! I'll tell YOU that I may reconsider you in 60 days! REVENGE IS MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NO!

Drowning out the roar of my industrial strength vacuum cleaner were the synchronized voices of 25 girls screaming "NO!" in a room across the hall. The women's self-defense class was meeting in the dance room. It was unsettling for a moment. No is somewhat a negative word and it was like they were screaming it at me. What was I doing wrong? The class ended and all the girls passed me as they walked down the hall. Nothing but smiles and laughter. I'm sure they all felt great. They got to scream and get some exercise. All the stress of school, work, relationships and whatever else girls worry about was gone. It was all expelled through their vocal chords. All the frustration and anxiety transformed into an echo off the mirrored walls. There were a few girls; however, that had a different attitude. As they passed, they stared me down as if to say, "I could kick your trash." I believe it. They're taking a class on how to injure men! I've never taken a class on how to injure WOMEN! I'm just not as well educated or trained as they are. Before you know it I would be on the ground begging them to just leave me alone. What if women let this power go to their heads? I can see it now.
"Excuse me ma'am can I see some ID?" asked the friendly guard.
"NO!" screamed the woman as she kicked him repeatedly in a place that is ridiculously cliche.

Women could take over the world. Our only defense would be instructors of Self-defense classes and scum bags that have experience in attacking women. Oh well, if they did take over the world I'm sure we would be kept around as servants, or at least pets.

Seriously. It's a good thing. I want the women I know to be safe. It scares me to see so many girls walking alone late at night. Especially with all the creepy guys I also see. Self-defense classes: a great investment.

On a side note, if someone were to attack ME, my most vulnerable moment is when I'm walking home from work. Every night between 11:40 and 11:45 I get hit in the face by the spray of a sprinkler right before crossing 300 East. After I cross the street I take off my glasses to dry them on my shirt. Right there. There is never anyone around. I'm tired. I'm not paying attention. And I'm blind. Perfect opportunity. Sorry, would be assailants. Now that I recognize this weakness I will take steps to correct it.

Guy's Night

Well, although Girl's nights may be fun, we opted for a Guy's night instead. It turned out to be a great success. We all left the experience a little older and a little wiser. Some important male bonding really strengthened all parties involved. Now it's time to get some shut eye. Stake Conference will be starting pretty dang early tomorrow. Here is our band with our new single, "Is She Just Being Friendly?" Alan about to kill Gavin in a game of Stair Master 2000
Council Bluffs and Alan elevating their thoughts.They just can't find anywhere to practice in private. They sure look comfortable though. Bravin the Gorlock!!!
Look out!! He's going to get you!!
Preparing for the game. Batters Up!Me, a little wet.That puddle is from water balloons. I swear. I haven't had that problem in weeks.That's my fault for choosing Dare, but it was better than answering THAT question.

Last Day of Summer

Here are the problems with the dollar a day goal.

1. It's no fun for me. Some days I just want to spend two dollars.
2. It's not fun for anyone else. What happens when my friends want to go eat out? Do I just sit there and order a water every time?
3. At the end of it all, the money I save isn't worth the trouble.

Needless to say, I quit that endeavor. I have done well with my study of Organic Chemistry however. I'm ready for school to start. I have to be excited and try my best to keep that excitement up. Otherwise, my whole head will be eaten and I'll find myself drowning my sorrows in a glass of non-alcoholic beverage. ---The job hunt goes well. I suppose. I've at least been able to send out a couple of resumes. Tomorrow I'll apply at Fed-ex. I get to apply to this one in person, but that worries me a bit. What if they want to hire me right then; right there? What do I say? Sorry, but I applied to some other places that are better and this is just a back up? Maybe I should go ahead and take the job just in case nothing else works out. I hate to go job hopping, but I feel like I wouldn't have any real choice. I need money and can't waste any time not working. --- There are a few things that have been weighing on my mind just as heavily as my financial issues, but I keep pushing them into the back of my head. This results in the occasional headache and sour mood.

"No man is a failure who is enjoying life"

The title was the quote of the day in my Gmail account. I'm typing this up so that I can have a break from looking for jobs and studying organic Chemistry. I think that from now until Saturday I'll be having breakfast, lunch, and dinner at Ream's. They have 10 cent hotdogs and ice cream. 10 cents! Hotdogs! Ice Cream! I have set some unrealistic financial goals and some unrealistic scholastic goals. It's not likely that I will achieve them, but I'll try. I am giving myself an allowance of only one dollar every day. That dollar will go towards food, gas, entertainment, pencils, paper, etc. Pretty much anything but rent, utilities, and phone bill. So far I've spent 10 cents today. That leaves me 90 whole cents! I can still get eight hotdogs. Life is good. I have also set the goal to study the first three chapters of my organic chemistry book before school starts. So far I've finished 1/9th of the first chapter. I don't want chemistry to eat my whole head.

Textbooks=Misery

Why do they cost so much? How can they justify charging 160 dollars for a book, buying it back for 60 dollars, selling it used for 95 dollars, buying it back for 40 dollars, selling it for 95, buying it for 40, selling it for 95 and then not buying it back because there is a new 160 dollar edition that has the only change of having a more up-to-date cover?!?!?!?!?! How much money are they making off of that one book? 160-60+95-40+95-40+95= 305 Bones!!! I need to get into the textbook business. I've been in bookstores. I've seen big books. They don't cost 160 dollars. They definitely don't cost 305 dollars. For 305 dollars, you can get an entire set of encyclopedias! That's 32 hard cover reference books!!!! If regular bookstores can stay in business selling books once, and only once, for a reasonable price, then the textbook department must be making bank. I'm frustrated. I need to just go to sleep and forget about it.

This is Paola and me in Chile. She was one of my first converts. I was happy to see that she is very active in the church and is serving with the stake young single adults. Hmmm. Angelo's still single. Maybe I should hook them up. 

Mr. Clean

I've been trying to get the apartment somewhat presentable today. It's amazing how fast everything gets dirty. How do moms do it? Well, this weekend was fun. One of the highlights was getting a mattress out of the dumpster and taking it on campus to try and slide down the hill by the library. It didn't slide. At all. But, it was still fun. Yesterday, I went to church and it felt good knowing that I won't have to work another Sunday. I am a member of the Sunday School Presidency, the only member, so I was worried that I would be in charge of the class even thought the word on the street was that the other ward was in charge. Luckily serving a mission taught me how to make up a lesson on the spot. During sacrament meeting I looked up a few scriptures and was ready to do whatever would be necessary. I was off the hook though, because someone else had prepared a lesson for the class. I don't even know if we have any Sunday school teachers that haven't moved, so until the ward gets reorganized, I might just go ahead and prepare a backup lesson every week. Last night we played, Betrayel : house on the Hill ( or something like that). Chelsea and I were eaten by a cannibal zombie. That's a shame.

A clean toilet is a happy toilet.

I laughed at myself a lot at work today. Here I am. Four years older and four years wiser, back at the Smith Fieldhouse cleaning toilets. The crews are collections of severely socially awkward individuals. I fit right in. :) One of them took it upon himself to train me in not only how to sweep and clean toilets, but also how to read the newspaper on my break and how to use the vending machine! I paid very close attention to everything he said as if I were completely clueless and needed his guidance. We'll get along fine if I don't blow up and scream, "You Don't Have To Tell Me How To Use A Water Fountain!!!!!" I love it. For the most part I can just think and keep to myself. Today Brad Wilcox was giving some inspirational talk for Education Week while I was sweeping the stairs. I listened in and enjoyed the part of the talk I heard. It was more directed to youth under the age of 18, but I got something out of it too. Apparently he is a well known LDS speaker, but I only know him because he was the mission president of the East mission in Santiago, and I would see him from time to time in the central office. I paid tuition and it looks like I'll barely have enough money to pay this months rent. Now all these paychecks need to go toward paying off my credit card. Right now I'm just hoping to break even by the end of the semester. The combination of not working for a month, and flying to Texas and Chile really dug me into a hole, but it was completely worth it. I got to be reminded of what I used to really care about. In the mission, memorizing sriptures was fun! Studying Jacob 5 was practically Disneyland! Sure, that's a slight exaggeration, but exaggeration can be a great literary tool according to my English teacher that obviously had a crush on me. I also got to see that even though the memory of me is quickly fading away in Chile, the things that I did made a difference and continue to do so. More people are being baptized. People are serving missions. The map of Melipilla that I made three years ago is still being used by the missionaries. It doesn't matter if I'm remembered or not. It's not about me. Well, enough rambling. Good Night.

Back to work

I set a new personal record today. I started looking for work around 9 O'clock this morning and I was hired at the smith fieldhouse tonight at 8:30. I've already begun looking for my "real" job now too. The lab in Springville isn't hiring anymore. Bummer. I haven't found much in my field yet. That's why I got this custodial job. I know it might take a while to find the perfect place of employment. I ended up not going into the lab today because a friend called and I talked to her on the phone for a couple hours, and then when I went to take a shower, there wasn't any water. So I did the only logical thing. I gave up on the day and went back to sleep. I give the day plenty of chances to do a hip hop dance, but if it doesn't pull through LOOK OUT.

....... ... .... .. all the wrong places.

While in Chile I couldn't wait to get back home, but now that I'm here, I want to go back. I feel really weird this morning. I need to work. I'm a worker. I feel great when I'm being paid for providing some service. If feels good that someone is willing to let me work for them and give me money. It means acceptance. It means stability and constance. I'm going crazy right now. I think I'm going to try and say good bye to my social life. I saw that there's an opening at the Smith Field House 8-midnight shift. This way I can go to class, do my homework while everyone else is working, and work when everyone else is having fun and being distracted from their homework. Between school, the lab, and work, I won't have time for anything else. It sounds great. I'll also have Sundays off. My bishop may actually know who I am this year.

I can't start working soon enough. I can't go into the lab until one and I can't apply for this job until four. What am I going to do until then!?!? I know. I'm gunna jump on my bed. That's right. You read correctly. Jump....on.....my....bed. Ha! There's nothing anyone can do to stop me! By the time anyone reads this it will be too late! TOO LATE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

The big city.

I'll try to make this quick because I have to meet someone soon. Why did I say that if I'm in a hurry? If I'm in a hurry I should get straight to the point shouldn't I. Oh.. ok. So, I was waiting at a bus stop in the Central Plaza of Maipu around 9:00 at night. A guy came up to me and started getting in my face. Then he got real close to me and stuck his hand in my side and said, "Give me all your money or I will KILL you." Before he approached me I saw that there wasn't anything in his hand, so I was pretty confident when in response I put my hand on his shoulder and said, "Do any of these busses go by a subway stop?" It was funny because he answered my question and even told me which busses would take to the subway before he said, "I'm serious! Give me all your money or you won't make it out of Maipu alive!" My response to that was "No thank you." He said some other threats that had to do with how he was going to kill me, but I just ignored him and later asked, "Will this bus take me to the subway?" He said yes, and I got on. I thought I made it, but he followed me onto the bus. Now I started to get worried. I knew this guy had nothing in his hand, but I had no idea what was in his backpack. I got on the bus and took the first available seat. He tried to push me to the back, but I stayed put. Then he started screaming that he was going to kill everyone on the bus if they didn't get off right that instant. Some people got off, but everyone else ignored him. To make a long story short he wouldn't get off the freaking bus and kept screaming and threatening people and I almost attacked him when he made a little girl cry. Later, the woman next to me nudged me and pointed out that one of the passengers was a detective. He had his jacket open and I saw the gun. Whenever this punk would get too close to someone I would see him reach for it. When the punk went to the front of the bus, the detective pulled out his cell phone and called someone. At the next stop, two police officers jumped on the bus and pulled the guy off. Soon after that, I arrived to the Subway and made it home. It was exciting, but from now on I'm taking a taxi after dark.

Virgin Mary Day

Almost everything was closed down for virgin Mary Day here in Chile yesterday. I went to the Presidential Palace in the Santiago (Kind of like the white house) and then I went to Maipu while my parents stayed by the hotel. I met up with Solange in the Plaza and then she took me to her new house. It was really good to see them again. I baptized Solange and Romina before I finished my mission, and since then, Pilar and Enzo have also been baptized. Play Station isn't usually my favorite pass time, but since it was one of the forbidden fruits of the mission, I couldn't pass up playing a few rounds of Mortal Kombat with Enzo. He kicked my trash, took it out, kicked it again, followed it to the dump and kicked it again. I suck. Anyway. The other half of the family has been lost ever since they split up, but Enzo let me in on a little secret. He knows exactly where they live and even goes to visit them. Unfortunately, his Dad doesn't want them to see their ex-family. How sad. Well, Enzo secretly took me to their house and I got to see Grisela, Carla, Jonothan, and Romina. Since I left, the Mom, Grisela, has been baptized, but Jonothan and Carla still haven't. Grisela looked out the window when I called and had a look on her face that said, "Who could that possibly be?" Then when she recognized me she ran out of the house and threw her arms around me and jumped up and down like a giddy school girl. One of the best greetings I've ever received. After spending time with them, I went to the plaza and something weird happened. I'm going to break this up into two entries so this isn't so long.

Dulce patria.

I finally made it to an internet place. I have been in Chile since Friday. So far I have done a lot of hanging out. Friday we just got settled and went around with Bernardita from my Dad's work. It was okay, but I ended up buying the worlds most expensive cake. I told Bernardita that I really liked Torta de mil ojas (Cake of a thousand layers). Then she said she would take me to where I could buy a really good one. It cost one metric butt load, but I felt like I had to buy it since she drove us all the way to this stupid bakery. The cake is really good though. Saturday we took the Subway and bus to Valparaiso. It was a major port in the world at the time of the California Gold Rush, but once the Panama Canal was built everyone stopped coming. We took a tour of the port and I translated everything into English for my folks. Yesterday we went to Maipu to go to church. I wanted to stay and talk to all my friends, but that would be really boring for my parents, so I'll go back another day. Today we went to the movies and saw Click. I didn't want to see that movie, but I thought it would be fun to do it in Chile. The rest of the day I hung out at the mall with my parents.

It's weird. I feel trunky. I want to go home. I feel like I'm back in the mission and I'm having one of those days where you think that you'll never make it home again. How did I make it two years? Divine intervention. That's the only thing that comes to mind.

Family

I saw my sisters today. They seemed to be doing good. I was really happy because I felt like I was just hanging out with my sisters and not having some formal visit. Jason took Taylor and me to the new buffet restaurant in town and we chatted. Jason is cool because he's just an easy going skateboarder. He's always upbeat and doesn't talk bad about anyone. Sydnie is getting really big. At first she was scared of me (just like always) but then she warmed up to me. I wish she would remember me next time I visit. I also met Jason's brother, Travis. He's apparently "dating" Carolyn, but her divorce hasn't been finalized yet. I would say that was the big gossip of my family, but it's hard for gossip to exist in a family as small as mine. What happens, happens and there's no reason for anyone to talk about it.

As I reunite with people, the questions I dread always come up. "So, is there a special someone in your life? Are you going to graduate school? Are you going to med school? What ARE you doing?" I don't get annoyed with people who ask me these questions in any way. I just wish that I had something more interesting to tell them. All the answers are either "I don't know", or just plain "no". That's not exciting. I wish for entirely selfish reasons that I was engaged, and getting ready for med school, and teaching orphans from the Congo how to read, and publishing a book, and curing cancer. Well, I am happy with what I've done. I've come a long way. My accomplishments just aren't very visible. They're not anything that can be told to anyone either. They're more like "I guess you had to be there" accomplishments. I'm excited to go to church tomorrow and see more people. I'm also excited for Del Taco Tuesday and my trip to Chile. Wahoo!

Just like old times.

A few times I've been asked, "What do you do for fun in Texas?" I remember now. There isn't a whole lot to do, so you have to make up your own fun. Thursday we met up with some friends at a park. They had bought five rolls of yarn and were in the process of making a giant net/hammock over some play equipment. It was fun to watch everyone build up courage and go from slowly and gently rolling into the hammock to falling face first into it. Then we went and saw Talladega Nights. The movie was funny, but it was really sacrilegious. Yesterday we slept past noon and then just hung out most of the day. I went to a couple wedding receptions and saw some folks that I haven't seen in years. At night we got up on Kendall's roof and chatted for a while. I'm definitely back in Texas. Even though some people have moved and some new friends are in the group that I don't know too well, everything and everyone is pretty much the same. There are still a ton of people that I want to see before I head back to Utah. It's a little weird though. Last time I saw most of these people I was saying good bye before I left for Oregon. I almost feel like I was expected to come back married or something, so since I'm not, I failed. Hmm.... I know people won't think that way, but it is kind of embarrassing none the less.

Texas

I haven't had much time to sit down and type, but if you want to know how my vacation has been going, just click the link below.
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=999922501&n=2

Last Day

I awoke at a not so early hour, but achieved something great in a minute and thirty-six seconds. I had some egg sandwiches and watched a small part of a movie on comedy central. It intrigued me because the star(the same guy who played Feris Bueler) had recently dropped out of his masters degree program for molecular biology and was now devising a plan to steal plasmids and a lab book in order to make a million dollars. The movie didn't hold my interest very long, even though Dennis Hoffman and Sean Connery were also in it.

My last day at work went well. I never saw Amanda do a cartwheel though. I wanted someone to be rude to me, but everyone was nice. My last customers was also one of my first customers from a year ago. He was really picky, but nicer this time than last time, so I had no reason to rip him a new one. I'm sad to be closing the Dillards chapter of my life. It was a good one.

FYI

For Your Information: It's not a good idea to jump on a trampoline in a thunderstorm.

Some stuff has happened since I last wrote. I don't know how to organize it so I'll just mention stuff as it comes and then decide if it was in any order.

1. Abby called. After almost five months of calling her every week and leaving a message without her ever answering her phone or calling me back, she called. No, no. I'm not obsessed with her, and I'm not stalking her. I just decided a long time ago that I would never lose touch with her. Why her? I don't know. She's still in Chicago. We got caught up on each other's lives, and then I signed up for myspace since she said it would be an easier way for us to keep in touch. Myspace scares me.

2. I'm done with Subway. I got my free 12 inch sub...again, but this time nothing horrible happened to me. Yea! But, I did get the feeling that I was done with Subway. A year is a long time. It's time to give other establishments a chance to feed me on my lunch break.

3. I got to extract chick embryos with a microscope and tiny little forceps. Now we're running in- situ hybridization on them.

4. I cleaned out my car.

5. My work ethic is still holding up somewhat.

6. I've been hanging out with Amanda, Chelsea, and my roommates. We tried making Jello-jigglers and watched the Sandlot one night. We're good at watching the Sandlot, but we need practice with the jigglers. I just got back from Leatherby's. I had a hot fudge sundea and Chelsea hooked me up with some of her cheese fries. I think I still have some Five Buck Pizza in my stomach too, because I'm stuffed and hot and I just can't get comfortable. I'd like to take this time to mention how grateful I am for the division of responsibilities between the sexes and the fact that I will never have to be pregnant (unless something in the lab goes terribly wrong).

Okay. The order seems to be most shocking to least shocking. Have a good day.

Like Lightning

Lightning is great. Confident in my knowledge that electricity will not travel through something not grounded, I would go out in thunderstorms and jump on my trampoline. Covered in water and cold I would jump as high as I could and listen to the thunder roar around me. As I would jump, I'd pretend that I had no home and that I couldn't get out of the rain. I had nowhere to go. No one to turn to. All alone. Just me and the storm. I suppose life was too easy for me, so I had to pretend that I was disadvantaged. I had to make believe that I was overcoming all odds to become something great. The truth of the matter is that I had no difficult odds (or evens) to overcome, and I don't see myself heading towards greatness. I would get tired and just lie down on my trampoline and feel the rain hit my face while I thought. I feel like my thoughts then were deeper than my thoughts now. I'd contemplate the universe, my purpose in life, my association with friends, the existence of God, what it will be like to grow up..... I still think of some of these things, but it doesn't feel the same as it did then. Maybe it just seems that way because I was still new to the whole internal reflection and exploration thing- like when you go back and visit your elementary school and remember everything being so much bigger. I'd start to get cold and although I had no fear of lightning, I did worry about being cold and wet, thereby weakening my immune system, making me more susceptible to sickness and disease. Then, I would go inside. The pretending was over. I could change into some dry clothes and watch the Simpsons while I sipped on hot chocolate. I don't want my life to be more difficult than it is or was. I just think I should do more with the advantages I have. That's all. I can't wait for Del Taco Tuesday!

Mistletoe

I usually try to make big plans for my weekends off. This weekend has been spent sleeping. Tomorrow I go back to work. Maybe I'll be able to get back into the swing of things. Poor white ninja. He can be so sweet and innocent. But, don't be fooled ladies. He also kills bunnies, turtles, horses, and Kitty cats for fun.

This is ponderous man

I've been in a weird mood. I contemplate things and plan things and then never come to any real decision or action. Consider that comment to be a side note. I won't dwell on it. I saw Pirates of the Caribbean II with friends from work last night. It was a fun movie, but I don't see it winning any awards. Mari has wanted to hook me up with one of her friends. I met her for the first time last night at the movie. I shouldn't try to judge someone after only meeting them once, but since I only have a first impression to go on, I would say that we are not each other's type. I can't know for sure what she thought of me, but I get the feeling that she feels the same way I do. I drew a picture of an eye a while back. It's staring at me now. The eye always looks surprised. It never sees anything different. The room hardly ever changes. I can only assume that the eye can read my mind. That's the only logical explanation. What else could surprise it? I'm glad it can read my mind. It's comforting. I don't have to tell it anything. It already knows. The only problem is that it can't do anything about it, and possibly doesn't even care. It just sits there and looks surprised. God knows what I am thinking too. He cares. He knows everything, but still likes it when I tell him what's going on. That's much more comforting. Someone to talk to. Someone that understands.

Gummy Ball (Hats are Showin')

When I was going through my stuff in Phoenix I came across a picture of me when I was first trying out a mohawk. It looked pretty goofy. Not even decked out in full punk gear with metal studs and a mohawk did I ever look intimidating. Some of my friends were pretty scary looking. "Wow, let's walk on the other side of the street to avoid that punk kid." But with me, people wouldn't mind asking me to babysit their young children. That's not a bad thing I guess. I never really wanted to be intimidating anyway.

Travelogue

I have returned from my much awaited vacation. I left last Saturday early in the morning and arrived in Las Vegas where I attended my sister's wedding. It was fun. Braxton and I walked around in the unbearable heat for what seemed like an eternity. The reception was pretty short. My dad looks really different. I hardly recognized him. Here's a picture of my folks. So, we stayed the night at a friends house and then headed for Phoenix the next day. We got to Phoenix and pretty much just chilled with my parents. Monday we saw Jessica and her family and went with them to the mall to hang out. There were some awkward moments for me. Usually it's fun to see someone you haven't seen in a long time and talk about the good ol' days, but for self-evident reasons I didn't have much to say about the good ol' days. It was good to see her and her family again though. After the mall, Braxton and I went back to my parents' house and spent the afternoon in the pool. Tuesday I dropped Braxton off with his Cousin in Mesa and I drove to
Tucson to see the newlyweds, Lashley and Tania. About five minutes away from Lashley's house my car overheated and died. Lashley picked me up and I hung out with him and his wife for a while. They had some awesome wedding pictures and seemed happy. Both of them would recommend marriage. Here's a picture of them with my gift to them (the pinata). I got back to my car, filled up the radiator, started driving, the car started smoking, I pulled into a Jiffy Lube, they said my radiator hose was cut, they said they couldn't fix it, I asked who could, they said Pep Boys, I said that's who replaced the radiator hoses last week, they said the Pep Boys a couple blocks away should fix it for free then, I went to Pep Boys, they said they couldn't get to it till the next day, I left my car, I called Alan, he tried to call his mom, I started walking towards his house, I bought a non-sweaty shirt at the thrift store, I called Chelsea, she was at the airport, we had a nice chat, Alan called me back, his mom picked me up, she was real nice, I met Alan's dad, he's just like Alan, I slept in Alan's bed, I picked up my car the next day, and I made it back to Phoenix in the early afternoon. Here's a picture of me and part of Alan's cat. Wednesday, I went to Mesa with Braxton and saw the temple and then we called up Cheslea and she invited us over. We met her family and she and her sister made us fajitas. Then we went to an open microphone night at Coffee Talk and saw glass blowers and statues. The next day we went to Dunkin Donuts and tubing down the salt river. I should have put sunscreen on my knees. It was a good time. I'm glad we got to hang out with Cheslea and her sister Abby (sp?) It's funny. We actually had a conversation about how there aren't many ways to spell Abbie and it shouldn't be hard to get it right, but I never asked how she spells her name. Oops. Then Friday I drove home and now I'm here. Now I'll just post some more pictures.


This is Jessica and her brother and sisters.










Here I am with Lashley's wife, Tania.










Braxton at the Mesa Temple.








Chelsea and Abby about to be eaten by a zombie cactus.












Chelsea at Coffee Talk.






Abby, Chelsea, and Braxton with our friend Howard.










Me giving Joe a hand with a brick.










Abby preparing for the tubing adventure.

DTT

Del Taco Tuesday was a huge success (with the exception of the absence of a few key founders). We had a few newcomers that helped us set a new record for tacos eaten. Braxton ate 12! Wow! Next week Braxton and I will be in Phoenix, so we'll have to find a Del Taco there if we want to participate.

Independence is great sometimes. It's great to not have to depend on anyone else and to not have anyone else depend on you. This indepenence only lasts so long. I'm trying to take advantage of it by traveling and such, but the truth is that I can enjoy it every day. Yesterday I was driving in my car and I thought. "Wow, this is my car. I own it. My name is on the title. I pay for it's insurance and repairs. No one else has any claim on it." It felt good. At the same time independence can be lonely. "It's just me and my car. No one else." If I planned on it just being me for my entire life, I probably wouldn't still be going to school, so it's a good thing to look into the future. I could easily support myself on a Dilliard's salary and I really wouldn't mind it, but if I want to have a family some day, it won't cut it. Independence, in this sense of the word, is great, as long as it's only temporary.

666

It's amazing that I'm not dead. People die all the time, and I've had quite a few close calls. On my way to pick up Braxton traffic was tight and we all wanted to get wherever we were going as fast as possible (about 70-75 mph). Suddenly the car in front of me slammed on it's brakes and swerved to the left. I remember what went through my mind...."crap". "Crap"for three reasons. First, I was afraid of hitting the car in front of me. Second, I was afraid of slamming on my brakes and being hit from behind. Third, the realization that cars don't swerve out of a lane unless there's a good reason to. So, the car in front gets out of the way and reveals the debris that is littering my side of the road. I tried to get out of the way, but I hit a big chunk of metal with my right tire. It's a miracle that it didn't shred my tire to pieces. Then I slowed down steadily and weaved in and out of debris the best I could until it was finally clear again. On the way back there was a huge traffic jam on the northbound side of the road and a fire truck and ambulance at the same spot where I had my encounter. I was lucky.

At work I spent all day cleaning out the stockroom with my manager. She was going to throw away an old mannequin, so I asked if I could have it. She said I could have it. Now I have it. Awesome.

Braxton

I'm up and about a bit earlier than usual. Soon I'll be taking off to the airport to pick up Big B. It's amazing how many times I've been to the airport without actually going anywhere. I'm bummed though. I tried to get today off, but I couldn't switch with Jose like I had planned. So, right after I get back from the airport, I have to go straight to work and spend all day there. Oh well, at least I have Del Taco to look forward to, and tomorrow I'll have all day to hang out with Braxton and have fun.

Last night I sat in on a Europe meeting hosted by Council Bluffs. It was fun. I'm thinking that I might make a quick trip to Europe this year after all. I think it would be fun to fly to London, have lunch with Council Bluffs and the rest of the Europe crew and then fly back home. It would definitely be the coolest/most expensive lunch of my life.

Lonely Saturday

No one is around. I have nothing to do. I find myself rocking to Franz Ferdinand and eating cookie dough. I guess that's something. Jared's band practiced this morning. I should feel privileged to have access to my own private live band, but I wasn't in the mood so I went for FIVE BUCK PIZZA!!!! Yeah! FIVE BUCK PIZZA!!! I grabbed my pizza and went in search of a lovely place to consume it and make it a part of me. We are what we eat. I am made up of Five Buck Pizza, Del Taco, Frozen Burritos, and Cookie Dough. That explains a lot. Anyway... I ended up at the Mall. Wow. I am wearing my ref jersey, so naturally I went to Foot Locker, walked up to the first employee I saw and said..............................................."nice shirt". He smiled, I smiled. We understood each other. A bond was formed that will never be broken. So, I walked around the mall and saw that the Da Vinci Code started in ten minutes. So..... I watched it. It was good. If I find myself flipping through channels on TV in two years and It is on TBS or something.....I'll watch it again. Now I'm home alone. Alan is at Lashley's wedding reception. Council Bluffs is working. Skuffs is .....well....not here. Braxton is in Texas, but not for long. The only friends I got to hang out with today were, Tom Hanks, the guy at Five Buck Pizza, and the guy at Foot Locker. Would it be weird for me to go back to Foot Locker just to hang out with an employee there? Yes, it would. Too much cookie dough. Need Milk. Over and out.

Kyle the Tender Hearted

Okay, I take it back. Don't sue me. My lawyer was busy all day yesterday and is beginning to get disgruntled. At work I overheard a conversation of an older couple that I had been helping. They referred to me as, "that tender-hearted boy". Being nice and helpful is okay, but as Adam said, "calling a boy tender-hearted is like saying a girl is a 'sweet spirit'." So, I just assume that in old people talk it's meant as a complement. Adam said that the same day he was called "bubbly". Ouch! Bubbly!?! That's horrible. People can be so cruel.

I made some progress yesterday. Now that I know what's wrong with me, I can take steps towards fixing myself. I don't know how long it'll take. Maybe a month. Maybe a year. Hopefully less than a year. A year is a long time. A year ago I was quitting my job back in Texas and packing up for my 43 hour bus ride to Oregon. That was a major turning point in my life. I don't know if it was a mistake or not. Either way, I find myself still learning and realizing things from the experience.

Desire

I want to write, but I have to go to work. It hit me this morning. I know why nothing has been working out, and I know what I have to do. It'll be tough, but worth it. Sure, it's rude of me to post something like that without providing details. So, sue me. I'm not perfect.

More Kipling

Pink Dominoes
Jenny and Me were engaged, you see,
On the eve of the Fancy Ball;
So a kiss or two was nothing to you
Or any one else at all.

Menny would go in a domino --
Pretty and pink but warm;
While I attended, clad in a splendid
Austrian uniform.

Now we had arranged, through notes exchanged
Early that afternoon,
At Number Four to waltz no more,
But to sit in the dusk and spoon.

I wish you to see that Jenny and Me
Had barely exchanged our troth;
So a kiss or two was strictly due
By, from, and between us both.

When Three was over, an eager lover,
I fled to the gloom outside;
And a Domino came out also
Whom I took for my future bride.

That is to say, in a casual way,
I slipped my arm around her;
With a kiss or two (which is nothing to you),
And ready to kiss I found her.

She turned her head and the name she said
Was certainly not my own;
But ere I could speak, with a smothered shriek
She fled and left me alone.

Then Jenny came, and I saw with shame
She'd doffed her domino;
And I had embraced an alien waist --
But I did not tell her so.

Next morn I knew that there were two
Dominoes pink, and one
Had cloaked the spouse of Sir Julian Vouse,
Our big Political gun.

Sir J. was old, and her hair was gold,
And her eye was a blue cerulean;
And the name she said when she turned her head
Was not in the least like "Julian."

'Twas a mighty long day. Funny story. I found a note on the ground during Sunday school that was probably left over from the day before. It said "Joe" on the front. I thought about opening it, but I wanted to show it to Alan first. So, I handed it to Alan and Alan handed it to Council Bluffs who handed it to someone else. I forgot that when someone hands you a note and your name isn't on it, the proper procedure is to pass it to the person next to you. Then at the end of the row someone piped up and said that Joe was actually the person sitting in front of me, so they passed the note back, and I handed it to him. Joe looked very confused. I wish I knew what the note said. In my mind the note said, "Dear Joe, You are Hot Stuff. Meet me Monday at 9:00 in front of the SWKT. Love Julie." Now the wrong Joe is going to show up and it shall be a hilarious comedy of errors.

Dillards

Work was made up of a lot of standing around and a few noteworthy happenings. First of all, I will not be manipulated, and I will not allow others to believe that I am being manipulated unless of course by doing so I am manipulating them(Not that I make a habit of manipulating anyone). So, this guy is trying to decide between a 200 buck Dillards brand suit and a 600 bone Hart Schaffner & Marx suit. Just the fact that he's debating between the two tells me that he has money and can afford a nice suit. I know that wealthy people aren't satisfied with cheap suits and will come back and complain anytime they get a wrinkle. So, I talked up the advantages of owning a high-end suit and he chose to purchase it. Then, I ring up the suit and he asks if I can ship it to his house after it's altered(he's from out of town). I say, "sure thing", and look up the price of shipping. Then he starts to have a fit and says that he shouldn't have to pay for shipping since the suit is so expensive and if we don't ship it to him for free he won't buy it. I thought, "Well, this guy is a big jerk, but he's right. He's from out of town and can't wait around for us to finish altering his suit, so we should send it to him free." I picked up the phone and said that I'd try to get a manager to waive the shipping fee. That's when it happened. He looked at me with his beady eyes and said in a snotty condescending voice, "Alright, call a manager so we can see if you get your sale or not." I could feel my face turn a bright red due to suppressed rage. My left hand was clinched tight while my other hand set the phone back on the hook. I looked at him with a forced smile and responded, "I'm trying to get this approved because I think you're right, NOT because I'm afraid of losing a sale." I just wanted him to know. I wanted him to know that he wasn't pressuring me into doing anything. He wasn't some master negotiator that threatened the little suit boy until he got his way. I made the phone call, the manager approved it, and I was happy to see that guy walk out of the store, hopefully never to return. I felt good, I didn't lose my temper, but I wasn't a doormat either. Some very pleasant things also happened. Unfortunately, I don't feel like telling those stories at the moment. So, instead, just read the white ninja comic again and laugh. It's funny.

A poem

If

IF you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream -- and not make dreams your master;
If you can think -- and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings -- nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And -- which is more -- you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling

I made some phone calls to Chile this morning. Everyone is excited about my visit. I can't wait to see everyone again. I've spent enough time with my computer today. Back to Life. Back to Reality.

ouch

Life just keeps handing me lemons and I have no idea how to turn them into lemonade...so all I can do is what this kid is doing. It sucks. Yep, it sucks BFCGB, but life goes on. I just need to do a hard reboot and start over. On my list of goals I have written, "Enjoy Life". Right now it seems like an impossible task, but someday things will get better.

Lemonade

Today went well. I practiced self-discipline and accomplished everything I set out to do. Of course, I didn't set out to do anything that is really very noteworthy, but that's beside the point. I feel great. Tomorrow should be just as good. I'll start the day at 7:oo so that I don't miss any of the wonderful things that are sure to happen. Maybe I'll even have some lemonade. Maybe instead of looking for a job this fall, I'll just set up lemonade stands around the county and hire cute little kids to push the stuff. Then I'll come by and collect the profit with some thugs (Gavin, Alan, and Council Bluffs). If they don't pay up, we'll go to their houses with baseball bats and...............break their neighbor's window and blame it on them so that they get grounded. HA HA HA HA HA! It's ingenious. Will anyone buy lemonade in December? Hmmm... Never mind. It would never work. It'll be too cold. Back to the drawing board.

1200 Bones

I just spent 1200 dollars. It feels great. I was wondering when I could get rid of that lousy money that's been burning a whole in my pocket. So, this means that it's official. I leave for Chile August 10th and I return August 22nd. My parents decided to come with me for the first week, and then I'll have five days on my own to just chill. I can't wait to start sending out emails and making phone calls so that everyone knows I'm coming. Yipee!

I got some bad news though. I didn't get the TA job that I applied for. All the spots are full now and I'm not occupying any of them. It seems like things just aren't going my way lately. There are a couple of possibilities. Either I'm just in a slump of bad luck/mood and good fortune is headed my way as I post this, or this is just the beginning and before you can say "man that sucks" my life is just going to spiral downward until I hit rock bottom, break through rock bottom and become trapped in the super-heated core of the Earth. Well, when life hands you a lemon, squeeze the juice into your eye, or make lemonade. Hmmm.... Not getting a TA job is to a lemon as __________ is to lemonade. I'll ponder that. Over and out.

The Boot

Last night I was out pretty late discussing some things with Chelsea. After we decided it was time to head home I walked up to my car and, alas, a yellow piece of paper and a boot. I think it's ridiculous that they can get away with booting cars that are parked on what is obviously a street. Oh well, I made a point of not letting it get to me, and I remained chipper when I realized that I have joined the elite society of people who have had their cars booted. Sure it sucks that there is a fifty dollar membership fee for this society, but I guess it's worth it. Darn, I should have taken a picture to cherish the moment.

In other news, Saturday night turned out to be the oddest date in the history of dating. Imagine a date involving, four square, a nickel arcade, three ex-girlfriends, two ex-boyfriends, a switcharoo, a kazoo, a slap bracelet, a Chilean, free room temperature pizza, a pet rock, a Santa Claus necklace, and a marijuana shop owned by herb. It was good fun. It was a date that will not be soon forgotten. A complete explanation of the date is available upon request. Simply contact me.

Council Bluffs needs to do the dishes

My good friend CB was just sitting here, but then he told me that he needs to go do the dishes. He should be back soon though. Till then, I'll just type away. This morning I got up and read a little bit. Then I went for a jog and lifted Gavin's weights. After showering I ran down to the post office to mail off a gift to my mom for Mother's Day. Then I came home and watched some Karate stuff on ESPN and went to work. Work was slow. I talked to Adam for a good while before his shift ended. Our conversation was comforting and depressing at the same time, with an overall feeling of understanding. After work I came home and then left with Alan to drop off the Spider Man 2 DVD back at Route 22. Then it was off to do some shopping at Wal-Mart. Well, after all that adventure and excitement I'm ready to call it a night and hit the sack a bit earlier than usual. Good Night.

Surprise

Boy oh boy, this weekend sure was full of surprises. Actually, there was only one surprise, but it was big enough to fill a couple weekends. Whenever something is weighing on my mind, and I need to make tough decisions or just sort through some things, I've been known to take short walks. By walking, I feel like I'm distancing myself from my problems so that I can approach them more objectively, but not running away from them. It gives me plenty of time to be alone and just think. I guess I had a lot of thinking to do Sunday night, because the short walk landed me in American Fork at 4:00 am. I had to take the bus back to Provo. It was a good walk though. I realized a few things. Mostly about myself. Partly about life in general. I can't really mention what I was thinking about or what I realized. You see, the whole idea of the walk is privacy, personal reflection, and prayer. I can't say that after the journey I now have everything figured out. That would be great, but it's not the truth. I can say, however, that my mind is at ease now, and I'm ready to face all the new surprises that life has in store for me.

I'm Back!!!

I'm terribly sorry for not posting for such a long time. You see, I was walking home from my last final when a custom hot pink 1984 DeLorean pulled up and a man resembling Peter Jennings poked his head out the window and offered me a bag of dried banana chips if I would get into the car with him. Would you say no? I hopped in and the car took off. I was so busy eating banana chips that I didn't even notice when the gull wing doors flew open and we started flying into the sky. The next weeks were spent upon an alien spacecraft.

Nearing the End

I'm done with classes. After finals, I'll be free from homework and studying until next fall. This morning I read 50 more pages out of Babbit. There are some parts of the book that do a good job of explaining what its like to feel like a failure in the midst of success. I have enjoyed the book up to this point, but if the pace doesn't pick up pretty soon, I can see myself getting bored and not finishing it. I'm anxious to read my other books. I have no school and no work today. What will I do with my spare time? It has to be noteworthy. The great thing about publishing my daily thoughts and activities in a potentially public forum, is that I am very aware of moments in my life becoming dull and boring. Well, I need to catch up on the past week. I'll do my best to remember things that have occurred.

Monday, April 17, 2006

It was difficult to get out of bed due to my late night preparations. Bro. Walsh ended up just having us hold up our journals and filing assignments. That was it. He didn't even look at them. Part of me wished I hadn't bothered doing them, but the other part of me would lose all respect for the first part of me if it had lied. I want all my parts to get along, so actually doing the work will always be my only true option whether "getting away with it" is an option or not. After the short internal debate, I mailed my state tax thingamajigger. The girl who I always sit next to in Cell Bio has been much more open and friendly ever since she got married. I suppose that at the beginning of the semester she was either afraid of me hitting on her, or just constantly worried about the wedding and how it would all turn out. Getting hitched in the middle of a semester has to be pretty stressful. In Genetics we discussed speciation and interspecies mating. Of course, some slightly inappropriate, but entirely funny comments were made by witty students. In the afternoon I fell asleep and woke up late. I threw on some clothes, sped to work, and made it just in time. In my rush, I neglected to put on my cufflinks, so I ended up using cable ties to keep my shirt cuff closed. I had my five minute review with my manager who warned about the evils of gossip in the workplace. It's funny, because after the meeting she asked how I was holding up since Jessica took off. I never told her about that. She must have heard it from Chuck. Gossip. Well, anyways, I was happy to report that I'm holding up just fine. Then I came home, went to Wal-Mart with the gang and jogged over to Route 22 to see Chelsea. We ended up going for a nice walk around the neighborhood. It's great to have such a wonderful girl to walk with.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Church was fine. We saw Terra and Leslie, and Derek and Paul for the last time as their home teachers. In the afternoon we walked over to Route 22 in response to a dinner invitation. On the way all four of us were talking on cell phones. It must have looked pretty ridiculous. The food was amazing. I'm still craving ham. Frozen burritos just won't be the same for the next few weeks. During dinner we voted on the correct pronunciation of words like crayon, trombone, syrup, Monticello, Camille, and both. I have to change my pronunciation of syrup from now on. No more sear-up, just sir-up. Then I came home and worked late into the night preparing twenty gospel files filled with three stories each, filling in all the gaps in my daily journal, writing three analogies, and writing four test questions for New Testament. It's my own fault for not working on it throughout the semester.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Eight hours at work flew by pretty quickly. I had lunch with Adam and his mom in the foodcourt. That is the first time I have ever shared my lunch break with a co-worker. I usually eat alone and keep to myself. I enjoyed it. After work I went to Chelsea's ward's "end of the semester, good bye, closing social extravaganza." The food was tasty. The hamburgers were burnt, just how I like 'em. I threw a football around with Chelsea, Whitney, and Councilina for a while. Even though I can't handle a football very well now it brought back memories of high school P.E. and the only time I ever felt good at a team sport. For some reason, maybe all my practice with juggling, I was able to catch a football really well at that time in my life. My teammates would always throw the ball to me because I never dropped it. They even called me Jerry Rice. Well, after tossing around the ol' pigskin, we watched the slide show, went to play foursquare at Alpine Court, and Chelsea and I watched the second best movie ever made, Reckless Kelly.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Well, I waited too long to write an update. I can't remember what happened Friday. I'm sure I went to school and then went to work. Well, I can tell you that two years ago from today, I was helping an investigator do some work on his house in Chile. I accidentally grabbed a live electrical wire and everyone freaked out. Miraculously I wasn't hurt at all. I must have been wearing the right shoes.

Update

Today I have felt a great need to restructure my life and change what I focus on and how I do things. Well, It's not really something new that just hit me today. I've felt it for a while. In an attempt to take a step up and not be complacent with where I am and what I have achieved, I purchased some books to help stimulate sections of my brain that haven't received much play lately. The books are Babbit, Utopia, A Tale of Two Cities (That's right, I've never read it), and The First Men in The Moon. When I go to work today, I want it to be different. I want to do things differently, find a better approach, get to know the people who enter my department, and really enjoy my time there. I won't allow it to be three wasted hours. I'm reminded of some Franz Ferdinand Lyrics:

I time every journey to bump into you, accidentally

I charm you and tell you of the boys I hate

All the girls I hate

All the words I hate

All the clothes I hate

How I'll never be anything I hate

You smile, mention something that you like

or How you'd have a happy life

if you did the things you like

I have no plans to make any dramatic changes in my life. I won't move to Russia, change my name, or join a boy band. I actually have no plans at all. I just want to wipe away everything I know about life and rediscover it. I tried this in the mission field in two different ways. When I started the mission I tried to forget American Culture and I just accepted Chile as my new reality and learned to love it. After a year, this new strange culture and missionary lifestyle became routine and unexciting. When I had the chance to train, I decided that I wanted to start over and forget everything I knew about the discussions and the routines of missionary work. Since my new companion wasn't tainted by unnecessary traditions, together we could reinvent how the work was done and find new ways to be successful. It felt great. I want that feeling again.

Eureka's Castle

I found a copy of Reckless Kelly on Amazon and made it mine. It should arrive next week. I had a lot of fun studying with Chelsea last night so she could get ready for her test, but tonight I've been stuck studying for my own classes, bummer. I can just be glad that my tests probably won't be half as difficult as hers was. Since I aced my last lab exam I'm hoping to do it again. If I get every question right I'll have a good chance at an A in the class. I need every A I can get. I don't see it happening in any of my other classes this semester, unless all my teachers suddenly whip out Kilimanjaro sized curves. I'm pretty pooped. I just thought I'd jot something down real quick. I have to keep studying now.

Funny ways to take the bolded sentence out of context.

"I'm pretty...", bragged Kyle as he studied himself in the mirror.
When Kyle was questioned about his slipping grades he responded, "I'm ... [poop]."
Headline: "Kyle claims '...pretty [poo]' to be more beautiful than our own Milky Way!"

Alright, that's enough. Be excellent to each other.

Reckless Kelly

Now I'm on the lookout for a new movie: Reckless Kelly. It's made by the Australian Director, Writer, Producer, and Actor, Yahoo Serious. So far I don't think it has been released on DVD and none of the video stores carry it, even though they do have his other works such as, Young Einstein and Mr. Accident. For now I'm keeping an eye on eBay to see if I can find it for cheap. My classes went okay today. Before work I was trying to open up a can of spaghetti sauce with our piece of vraag can opener, I got mad and threw it away. Since it was thrown away and I wasn't about to reach into the garbage and restore it to it's post, I went to Smith's and bought a new heavy duty one. This sucker is the Arnold Schwarzenegger of can openers. Later, on my way to work, I listened to the Eagle's cassette that Chelsea gave me. I arrived at Dillard's early so I just sat in my car and kept listening to the tunes before clocking in.

Tuesday, April 4, 2006

I spent the morning getting the final touches done for my presentation in my Molecular Biology lab. I knew everything about the Gonadotropin Releasing Hormone that I was assigned to study. Before I left, I thought of a scripture that I wanted to share. So, I grabbed my scriptures and tried to find it as I walked to my class. Then, out of nowhere, I ran into one of my favorite zone leaders from the mission. I asked where the scripture was and he found it right away. FYI, the scripture was Alma 30:44. The presentation itself could have gone better, but I also got back my last exam and saw that I made a 100 percent on it. After work, I watched Run Lola Run with Chelsea and Council Bluffs. If you loved, Groundhog Day, The Bourne Identity, The Fifth Element, One Crazy Summer, and Schulze Gets the Blues, then Run Lola Run is the movie for you.

Monday, April 3, 2006

I'm going to give up on trying to figure out the code to Route 22's door. They can even punch it in right in front of me and I won't even bother to look. They can all feel free to let their guard down. That's right, they can go ahead and let their guard down. I'm no threat. No siree. No threat here. Not at all. Nope. No threat. (fingers crossed). After work I stopped by Route 22 because Chelsea said she had something for me. What she had for me was one of the most thoughtful gifts that I have received in a long time. She knew that all I ever listen to in my car is R.E.M and the Ghostbuster Soundtrack, so she gave me some new cassette tapes. Now I have a good variety and don't have to listen to the same thing every time I get into my car. She's so great. Later, we went to the park to do some swinging, and then just sat and chatted for a while. We also did an anti-snow dance to ward off any evil winter spirits. At the end of the night she agreed to let me be her boyfriend. YIPEE!!! And, I hate to jump to any conclusions, but I think that also means that she's my girlfriend. YIPEE!!! I've been on cloud nine ever since. (I don't really know what that expression means, but I think that it applies to what I've been feeling)

SLEEP

I need to sleep, and I will sleep, but I would like to keep a daily account of my life, even if it is brief. Today I woke up and watched the first Sunday session of General Conference. I confess that I missed one of the talks in order to fill up my car with gas. I was sure to go to a pay at the pump station so that no one would be required to take my money. Although it would be fun, I don't feel like debating the ins and outs of Sabbath day observance right now. Then we all got together and made our way towards Salt Lake for the Afternoon session. We made it to the Conference Center with what we thought to be plenty of time, but I guess we were wrong. So instead of using our tickets to get in, we used them to pass notes as we sat in temple square and listened to Conference over the speakers. It was a ton-o-fun. Thank goodness for cootie shots. After conference Chelsea invited me over for dinner. She made some delectable bean soup and heavenly cornbread. Then I came home, took a nap, ate some orange sherbet, discovered my shirt was sewn shut, called Chelsea, and now I'm typing this up before I fall asleep.

Saturday, April 1, 2006

I woke up much earlier than I wanted to so I could go to work. I only had to work until four, which was great because it meant I was able to go with my roommates to the priesthood session of General Conference. Of course, looking back I realize that the night would have been much different for quite a few people had I stayed at work till six and skipped out on the priesthood session. So we went to Salt Lake and got there way too late and ended up watching it at the Legacy theater. On the way back I was exhausted. It's already been a really long weekend. We came home and opened the door to find that we had been pranked. Route 22 used their girls night out to have a little fun with our apartment. They took all of our right shoes, and stole our doors. There was also a lot of random stuff all over the place. At first I thought that they switched our things with stuff from someone else's apartment, but upon further inspection of the sign they left and the items themselves we realized that it was just a bunch of treasures from good ol' DI. We took a moment to inspect the apartment and then had a small apartment meeting where we discussed our plan of action. Do we get mad or do we get even? Well, all I can tell you is that we're not mad.

Friday, March 31, 2006

I did some school stuff, went to Chelsea's soccer game, and then had a really fun date with her. We tried to get a bite to eat at Chili's, but there was an hour long wait so we aborted that mission. We ended up going to Costa Vida/Azul. They make a killer burrito. Then we saw Schultze Gets the Blues, got ice cream, were sent on a pointless errand and then watched The Hudsucker Proxy. Thank goodness for cootie shots. I enjoyed the night a lot and came home happy and started to go to bed, but my "spider sense" told me that something was terribly wrong with the fabric of the universe. Alan was outside talking to Councilina Bluffs so I got dressed and went outside and started walking laps around the neighborhood and looking over to see if he was done talking yet. When I walked by and saw that he was no longer on the phone, we started walking and I found out that my worst nightmare had become a reality. Alan and Councilina Bluffs are no longer Alan and Councilina Bluffs. Now they're just Alan........and...........Councilina Bluffs. I didn't cry and I didn't beat anyone up, but I was very unsettled. So me and Alan just kept walking until we reached Beto's, a 24 hour Mexican food place. The food made me wish I had no stomach. Then we walked home and went to bed around 6:00 in the morning.