The Results Are In

The results are in. It turns out that the true X-Factor is Gatorade. Last night it was confirmed by a girl who was drawn out of her apartment and into mine due to my possession of this splendid beverage. The downside is that Gatorade can cost up to a dollar a bottle. It might not be worth it. Like Jerry Seinfeld says: We as an organization are getting more women than any other organization in the world. Apparently we're doing just fine already. However, it is nice to know that if you want that extra edge, and there's a special young lady that needs some help seeing how wonderful you are, Gatorade is an option.

I almost had a quarter-life crisis. My friends from High School are designing and selling clothes in New York. I was jealous of them. I felt like they were living the life I wanted to live. I felt like they were successful and I was a failure. I felt like I had nothing to show for the past five years of my life. Then, I realized that what I was feeling wasn't actually a desire to live in New York and design clothes. It was just the feeling that I'm not living up to my potential. I wrote one of these friends and he wrote back. I was afraid that he was going to think my life was boring and lame. He didn't though. Like a friend of mine told me during my crisis, "It's cool to be Mormon." I was a missionary in Chile for two years. That's not a week long vacation with family. It's hardcore. I think I forget that, since everyone around me has done the same thing. Here I'm just another face in the crowd, but I'm sure it's the same way for them. Among their friends, everyone goes to art school, lives in New York, and goes to galleries, performances, and artsy parties. We live different lifestyles now, but one isn't cooler than the other. Their just different. I can't wait for my mid-life crisis. It's gonna be crazy-go-nuts.