Gummy Ball (Hats are Showin')

When I was going through my stuff in Phoenix I came across a picture of me when I was first trying out a mohawk. It looked pretty goofy. Not even decked out in full punk gear with metal studs and a mohawk did I ever look intimidating. Some of my friends were pretty scary looking. "Wow, let's walk on the other side of the street to avoid that punk kid." But with me, people wouldn't mind asking me to babysit their young children. That's not a bad thing I guess. I never really wanted to be intimidating anyway.

Travelogue

I have returned from my much awaited vacation. I left last Saturday early in the morning and arrived in Las Vegas where I attended my sister's wedding. It was fun. Braxton and I walked around in the unbearable heat for what seemed like an eternity. The reception was pretty short. My dad looks really different. I hardly recognized him. Here's a picture of my folks. So, we stayed the night at a friends house and then headed for Phoenix the next day. We got to Phoenix and pretty much just chilled with my parents. Monday we saw Jessica and her family and went with them to the mall to hang out. There were some awkward moments for me. Usually it's fun to see someone you haven't seen in a long time and talk about the good ol' days, but for self-evident reasons I didn't have much to say about the good ol' days. It was good to see her and her family again though. After the mall, Braxton and I went back to my parents' house and spent the afternoon in the pool. Tuesday I dropped Braxton off with his Cousin in Mesa and I drove to
Tucson to see the newlyweds, Lashley and Tania. About five minutes away from Lashley's house my car overheated and died. Lashley picked me up and I hung out with him and his wife for a while. They had some awesome wedding pictures and seemed happy. Both of them would recommend marriage. Here's a picture of them with my gift to them (the pinata). I got back to my car, filled up the radiator, started driving, the car started smoking, I pulled into a Jiffy Lube, they said my radiator hose was cut, they said they couldn't fix it, I asked who could, they said Pep Boys, I said that's who replaced the radiator hoses last week, they said the Pep Boys a couple blocks away should fix it for free then, I went to Pep Boys, they said they couldn't get to it till the next day, I left my car, I called Alan, he tried to call his mom, I started walking towards his house, I bought a non-sweaty shirt at the thrift store, I called Chelsea, she was at the airport, we had a nice chat, Alan called me back, his mom picked me up, she was real nice, I met Alan's dad, he's just like Alan, I slept in Alan's bed, I picked up my car the next day, and I made it back to Phoenix in the early afternoon. Here's a picture of me and part of Alan's cat. Wednesday, I went to Mesa with Braxton and saw the temple and then we called up Cheslea and she invited us over. We met her family and she and her sister made us fajitas. Then we went to an open microphone night at Coffee Talk and saw glass blowers and statues. The next day we went to Dunkin Donuts and tubing down the salt river. I should have put sunscreen on my knees. It was a good time. I'm glad we got to hang out with Cheslea and her sister Abby (sp?) It's funny. We actually had a conversation about how there aren't many ways to spell Abbie and it shouldn't be hard to get it right, but I never asked how she spells her name. Oops. Then Friday I drove home and now I'm here. Now I'll just post some more pictures.


This is Jessica and her brother and sisters.










Here I am with Lashley's wife, Tania.










Braxton at the Mesa Temple.








Chelsea and Abby about to be eaten by a zombie cactus.












Chelsea at Coffee Talk.






Abby, Chelsea, and Braxton with our friend Howard.










Me giving Joe a hand with a brick.










Abby preparing for the tubing adventure.

DTT

Del Taco Tuesday was a huge success (with the exception of the absence of a few key founders). We had a few newcomers that helped us set a new record for tacos eaten. Braxton ate 12! Wow! Next week Braxton and I will be in Phoenix, so we'll have to find a Del Taco there if we want to participate.

Independence is great sometimes. It's great to not have to depend on anyone else and to not have anyone else depend on you. This indepenence only lasts so long. I'm trying to take advantage of it by traveling and such, but the truth is that I can enjoy it every day. Yesterday I was driving in my car and I thought. "Wow, this is my car. I own it. My name is on the title. I pay for it's insurance and repairs. No one else has any claim on it." It felt good. At the same time independence can be lonely. "It's just me and my car. No one else." If I planned on it just being me for my entire life, I probably wouldn't still be going to school, so it's a good thing to look into the future. I could easily support myself on a Dilliard's salary and I really wouldn't mind it, but if I want to have a family some day, it won't cut it. Independence, in this sense of the word, is great, as long as it's only temporary.

666

It's amazing that I'm not dead. People die all the time, and I've had quite a few close calls. On my way to pick up Braxton traffic was tight and we all wanted to get wherever we were going as fast as possible (about 70-75 mph). Suddenly the car in front of me slammed on it's brakes and swerved to the left. I remember what went through my mind...."crap". "Crap"for three reasons. First, I was afraid of hitting the car in front of me. Second, I was afraid of slamming on my brakes and being hit from behind. Third, the realization that cars don't swerve out of a lane unless there's a good reason to. So, the car in front gets out of the way and reveals the debris that is littering my side of the road. I tried to get out of the way, but I hit a big chunk of metal with my right tire. It's a miracle that it didn't shred my tire to pieces. Then I slowed down steadily and weaved in and out of debris the best I could until it was finally clear again. On the way back there was a huge traffic jam on the northbound side of the road and a fire truck and ambulance at the same spot where I had my encounter. I was lucky.

At work I spent all day cleaning out the stockroom with my manager. She was going to throw away an old mannequin, so I asked if I could have it. She said I could have it. Now I have it. Awesome.

Braxton

I'm up and about a bit earlier than usual. Soon I'll be taking off to the airport to pick up Big B. It's amazing how many times I've been to the airport without actually going anywhere. I'm bummed though. I tried to get today off, but I couldn't switch with Jose like I had planned. So, right after I get back from the airport, I have to go straight to work and spend all day there. Oh well, at least I have Del Taco to look forward to, and tomorrow I'll have all day to hang out with Braxton and have fun.

Last night I sat in on a Europe meeting hosted by Council Bluffs. It was fun. I'm thinking that I might make a quick trip to Europe this year after all. I think it would be fun to fly to London, have lunch with Council Bluffs and the rest of the Europe crew and then fly back home. It would definitely be the coolest/most expensive lunch of my life.

Lonely Saturday

No one is around. I have nothing to do. I find myself rocking to Franz Ferdinand and eating cookie dough. I guess that's something. Jared's band practiced this morning. I should feel privileged to have access to my own private live band, but I wasn't in the mood so I went for FIVE BUCK PIZZA!!!! Yeah! FIVE BUCK PIZZA!!! I grabbed my pizza and went in search of a lovely place to consume it and make it a part of me. We are what we eat. I am made up of Five Buck Pizza, Del Taco, Frozen Burritos, and Cookie Dough. That explains a lot. Anyway... I ended up at the Mall. Wow. I am wearing my ref jersey, so naturally I went to Foot Locker, walked up to the first employee I saw and said..............................................."nice shirt". He smiled, I smiled. We understood each other. A bond was formed that will never be broken. So, I walked around the mall and saw that the Da Vinci Code started in ten minutes. So..... I watched it. It was good. If I find myself flipping through channels on TV in two years and It is on TBS or something.....I'll watch it again. Now I'm home alone. Alan is at Lashley's wedding reception. Council Bluffs is working. Skuffs is .....well....not here. Braxton is in Texas, but not for long. The only friends I got to hang out with today were, Tom Hanks, the guy at Five Buck Pizza, and the guy at Foot Locker. Would it be weird for me to go back to Foot Locker just to hang out with an employee there? Yes, it would. Too much cookie dough. Need Milk. Over and out.

Kyle the Tender Hearted

Okay, I take it back. Don't sue me. My lawyer was busy all day yesterday and is beginning to get disgruntled. At work I overheard a conversation of an older couple that I had been helping. They referred to me as, "that tender-hearted boy". Being nice and helpful is okay, but as Adam said, "calling a boy tender-hearted is like saying a girl is a 'sweet spirit'." So, I just assume that in old people talk it's meant as a complement. Adam said that the same day he was called "bubbly". Ouch! Bubbly!?! That's horrible. People can be so cruel.

I made some progress yesterday. Now that I know what's wrong with me, I can take steps towards fixing myself. I don't know how long it'll take. Maybe a month. Maybe a year. Hopefully less than a year. A year is a long time. A year ago I was quitting my job back in Texas and packing up for my 43 hour bus ride to Oregon. That was a major turning point in my life. I don't know if it was a mistake or not. Either way, I find myself still learning and realizing things from the experience.

Desire

I want to write, but I have to go to work. It hit me this morning. I know why nothing has been working out, and I know what I have to do. It'll be tough, but worth it. Sure, it's rude of me to post something like that without providing details. So, sue me. I'm not perfect.

More Kipling

Pink Dominoes
Jenny and Me were engaged, you see,
On the eve of the Fancy Ball;
So a kiss or two was nothing to you
Or any one else at all.

Menny would go in a domino --
Pretty and pink but warm;
While I attended, clad in a splendid
Austrian uniform.

Now we had arranged, through notes exchanged
Early that afternoon,
At Number Four to waltz no more,
But to sit in the dusk and spoon.

I wish you to see that Jenny and Me
Had barely exchanged our troth;
So a kiss or two was strictly due
By, from, and between us both.

When Three was over, an eager lover,
I fled to the gloom outside;
And a Domino came out also
Whom I took for my future bride.

That is to say, in a casual way,
I slipped my arm around her;
With a kiss or two (which is nothing to you),
And ready to kiss I found her.

She turned her head and the name she said
Was certainly not my own;
But ere I could speak, with a smothered shriek
She fled and left me alone.

Then Jenny came, and I saw with shame
She'd doffed her domino;
And I had embraced an alien waist --
But I did not tell her so.

Next morn I knew that there were two
Dominoes pink, and one
Had cloaked the spouse of Sir Julian Vouse,
Our big Political gun.

Sir J. was old, and her hair was gold,
And her eye was a blue cerulean;
And the name she said when she turned her head
Was not in the least like "Julian."

'Twas a mighty long day. Funny story. I found a note on the ground during Sunday school that was probably left over from the day before. It said "Joe" on the front. I thought about opening it, but I wanted to show it to Alan first. So, I handed it to Alan and Alan handed it to Council Bluffs who handed it to someone else. I forgot that when someone hands you a note and your name isn't on it, the proper procedure is to pass it to the person next to you. Then at the end of the row someone piped up and said that Joe was actually the person sitting in front of me, so they passed the note back, and I handed it to him. Joe looked very confused. I wish I knew what the note said. In my mind the note said, "Dear Joe, You are Hot Stuff. Meet me Monday at 9:00 in front of the SWKT. Love Julie." Now the wrong Joe is going to show up and it shall be a hilarious comedy of errors.

Dillards

Work was made up of a lot of standing around and a few noteworthy happenings. First of all, I will not be manipulated, and I will not allow others to believe that I am being manipulated unless of course by doing so I am manipulating them(Not that I make a habit of manipulating anyone). So, this guy is trying to decide between a 200 buck Dillards brand suit and a 600 bone Hart Schaffner & Marx suit. Just the fact that he's debating between the two tells me that he has money and can afford a nice suit. I know that wealthy people aren't satisfied with cheap suits and will come back and complain anytime they get a wrinkle. So, I talked up the advantages of owning a high-end suit and he chose to purchase it. Then, I ring up the suit and he asks if I can ship it to his house after it's altered(he's from out of town). I say, "sure thing", and look up the price of shipping. Then he starts to have a fit and says that he shouldn't have to pay for shipping since the suit is so expensive and if we don't ship it to him for free he won't buy it. I thought, "Well, this guy is a big jerk, but he's right. He's from out of town and can't wait around for us to finish altering his suit, so we should send it to him free." I picked up the phone and said that I'd try to get a manager to waive the shipping fee. That's when it happened. He looked at me with his beady eyes and said in a snotty condescending voice, "Alright, call a manager so we can see if you get your sale or not." I could feel my face turn a bright red due to suppressed rage. My left hand was clinched tight while my other hand set the phone back on the hook. I looked at him with a forced smile and responded, "I'm trying to get this approved because I think you're right, NOT because I'm afraid of losing a sale." I just wanted him to know. I wanted him to know that he wasn't pressuring me into doing anything. He wasn't some master negotiator that threatened the little suit boy until he got his way. I made the phone call, the manager approved it, and I was happy to see that guy walk out of the store, hopefully never to return. I felt good, I didn't lose my temper, but I wasn't a doormat either. Some very pleasant things also happened. Unfortunately, I don't feel like telling those stories at the moment. So, instead, just read the white ninja comic again and laugh. It's funny.

A poem

If

IF you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream -- and not make dreams your master;
If you can think -- and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings -- nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And -- which is more -- you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling

I made some phone calls to Chile this morning. Everyone is excited about my visit. I can't wait to see everyone again. I've spent enough time with my computer today. Back to Life. Back to Reality.

ouch

Life just keeps handing me lemons and I have no idea how to turn them into lemonade...so all I can do is what this kid is doing. It sucks. Yep, it sucks BFCGB, but life goes on. I just need to do a hard reboot and start over. On my list of goals I have written, "Enjoy Life". Right now it seems like an impossible task, but someday things will get better.

Lemonade

Today went well. I practiced self-discipline and accomplished everything I set out to do. Of course, I didn't set out to do anything that is really very noteworthy, but that's beside the point. I feel great. Tomorrow should be just as good. I'll start the day at 7:oo so that I don't miss any of the wonderful things that are sure to happen. Maybe I'll even have some lemonade. Maybe instead of looking for a job this fall, I'll just set up lemonade stands around the county and hire cute little kids to push the stuff. Then I'll come by and collect the profit with some thugs (Gavin, Alan, and Council Bluffs). If they don't pay up, we'll go to their houses with baseball bats and...............break their neighbor's window and blame it on them so that they get grounded. HA HA HA HA HA! It's ingenious. Will anyone buy lemonade in December? Hmmm... Never mind. It would never work. It'll be too cold. Back to the drawing board.

1200 Bones

I just spent 1200 dollars. It feels great. I was wondering when I could get rid of that lousy money that's been burning a whole in my pocket. So, this means that it's official. I leave for Chile August 10th and I return August 22nd. My parents decided to come with me for the first week, and then I'll have five days on my own to just chill. I can't wait to start sending out emails and making phone calls so that everyone knows I'm coming. Yipee!

I got some bad news though. I didn't get the TA job that I applied for. All the spots are full now and I'm not occupying any of them. It seems like things just aren't going my way lately. There are a couple of possibilities. Either I'm just in a slump of bad luck/mood and good fortune is headed my way as I post this, or this is just the beginning and before you can say "man that sucks" my life is just going to spiral downward until I hit rock bottom, break through rock bottom and become trapped in the super-heated core of the Earth. Well, when life hands you a lemon, squeeze the juice into your eye, or make lemonade. Hmmm.... Not getting a TA job is to a lemon as __________ is to lemonade. I'll ponder that. Over and out.

The Boot

Last night I was out pretty late discussing some things with Chelsea. After we decided it was time to head home I walked up to my car and, alas, a yellow piece of paper and a boot. I think it's ridiculous that they can get away with booting cars that are parked on what is obviously a street. Oh well, I made a point of not letting it get to me, and I remained chipper when I realized that I have joined the elite society of people who have had their cars booted. Sure it sucks that there is a fifty dollar membership fee for this society, but I guess it's worth it. Darn, I should have taken a picture to cherish the moment.

In other news, Saturday night turned out to be the oddest date in the history of dating. Imagine a date involving, four square, a nickel arcade, three ex-girlfriends, two ex-boyfriends, a switcharoo, a kazoo, a slap bracelet, a Chilean, free room temperature pizza, a pet rock, a Santa Claus necklace, and a marijuana shop owned by herb. It was good fun. It was a date that will not be soon forgotten. A complete explanation of the date is available upon request. Simply contact me.

Council Bluffs needs to do the dishes

My good friend CB was just sitting here, but then he told me that he needs to go do the dishes. He should be back soon though. Till then, I'll just type away. This morning I got up and read a little bit. Then I went for a jog and lifted Gavin's weights. After showering I ran down to the post office to mail off a gift to my mom for Mother's Day. Then I came home and watched some Karate stuff on ESPN and went to work. Work was slow. I talked to Adam for a good while before his shift ended. Our conversation was comforting and depressing at the same time, with an overall feeling of understanding. After work I came home and then left with Alan to drop off the Spider Man 2 DVD back at Route 22. Then it was off to do some shopping at Wal-Mart. Well, after all that adventure and excitement I'm ready to call it a night and hit the sack a bit earlier than usual. Good Night.

Surprise

Boy oh boy, this weekend sure was full of surprises. Actually, there was only one surprise, but it was big enough to fill a couple weekends. Whenever something is weighing on my mind, and I need to make tough decisions or just sort through some things, I've been known to take short walks. By walking, I feel like I'm distancing myself from my problems so that I can approach them more objectively, but not running away from them. It gives me plenty of time to be alone and just think. I guess I had a lot of thinking to do Sunday night, because the short walk landed me in American Fork at 4:00 am. I had to take the bus back to Provo. It was a good walk though. I realized a few things. Mostly about myself. Partly about life in general. I can't really mention what I was thinking about or what I realized. You see, the whole idea of the walk is privacy, personal reflection, and prayer. I can't say that after the journey I now have everything figured out. That would be great, but it's not the truth. I can say, however, that my mind is at ease now, and I'm ready to face all the new surprises that life has in store for me.

I'm Back!!!

I'm terribly sorry for not posting for such a long time. You see, I was walking home from my last final when a custom hot pink 1984 DeLorean pulled up and a man resembling Peter Jennings poked his head out the window and offered me a bag of dried banana chips if I would get into the car with him. Would you say no? I hopped in and the car took off. I was so busy eating banana chips that I didn't even notice when the gull wing doors flew open and we started flying into the sky. The next weeks were spent upon an alien spacecraft.

Nearing the End

I'm done with classes. After finals, I'll be free from homework and studying until next fall. This morning I read 50 more pages out of Babbit. There are some parts of the book that do a good job of explaining what its like to feel like a failure in the midst of success. I have enjoyed the book up to this point, but if the pace doesn't pick up pretty soon, I can see myself getting bored and not finishing it. I'm anxious to read my other books. I have no school and no work today. What will I do with my spare time? It has to be noteworthy. The great thing about publishing my daily thoughts and activities in a potentially public forum, is that I am very aware of moments in my life becoming dull and boring. Well, I need to catch up on the past week. I'll do my best to remember things that have occurred.

Monday, April 17, 2006

It was difficult to get out of bed due to my late night preparations. Bro. Walsh ended up just having us hold up our journals and filing assignments. That was it. He didn't even look at them. Part of me wished I hadn't bothered doing them, but the other part of me would lose all respect for the first part of me if it had lied. I want all my parts to get along, so actually doing the work will always be my only true option whether "getting away with it" is an option or not. After the short internal debate, I mailed my state tax thingamajigger. The girl who I always sit next to in Cell Bio has been much more open and friendly ever since she got married. I suppose that at the beginning of the semester she was either afraid of me hitting on her, or just constantly worried about the wedding and how it would all turn out. Getting hitched in the middle of a semester has to be pretty stressful. In Genetics we discussed speciation and interspecies mating. Of course, some slightly inappropriate, but entirely funny comments were made by witty students. In the afternoon I fell asleep and woke up late. I threw on some clothes, sped to work, and made it just in time. In my rush, I neglected to put on my cufflinks, so I ended up using cable ties to keep my shirt cuff closed. I had my five minute review with my manager who warned about the evils of gossip in the workplace. It's funny, because after the meeting she asked how I was holding up since Jessica took off. I never told her about that. She must have heard it from Chuck. Gossip. Well, anyways, I was happy to report that I'm holding up just fine. Then I came home, went to Wal-Mart with the gang and jogged over to Route 22 to see Chelsea. We ended up going for a nice walk around the neighborhood. It's great to have such a wonderful girl to walk with.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Church was fine. We saw Terra and Leslie, and Derek and Paul for the last time as their home teachers. In the afternoon we walked over to Route 22 in response to a dinner invitation. On the way all four of us were talking on cell phones. It must have looked pretty ridiculous. The food was amazing. I'm still craving ham. Frozen burritos just won't be the same for the next few weeks. During dinner we voted on the correct pronunciation of words like crayon, trombone, syrup, Monticello, Camille, and both. I have to change my pronunciation of syrup from now on. No more sear-up, just sir-up. Then I came home and worked late into the night preparing twenty gospel files filled with three stories each, filling in all the gaps in my daily journal, writing three analogies, and writing four test questions for New Testament. It's my own fault for not working on it throughout the semester.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Eight hours at work flew by pretty quickly. I had lunch with Adam and his mom in the foodcourt. That is the first time I have ever shared my lunch break with a co-worker. I usually eat alone and keep to myself. I enjoyed it. After work I went to Chelsea's ward's "end of the semester, good bye, closing social extravaganza." The food was tasty. The hamburgers were burnt, just how I like 'em. I threw a football around with Chelsea, Whitney, and Councilina for a while. Even though I can't handle a football very well now it brought back memories of high school P.E. and the only time I ever felt good at a team sport. For some reason, maybe all my practice with juggling, I was able to catch a football really well at that time in my life. My teammates would always throw the ball to me because I never dropped it. They even called me Jerry Rice. Well, after tossing around the ol' pigskin, we watched the slide show, went to play foursquare at Alpine Court, and Chelsea and I watched the second best movie ever made, Reckless Kelly.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Well, I waited too long to write an update. I can't remember what happened Friday. I'm sure I went to school and then went to work. Well, I can tell you that two years ago from today, I was helping an investigator do some work on his house in Chile. I accidentally grabbed a live electrical wire and everyone freaked out. Miraculously I wasn't hurt at all. I must have been wearing the right shoes.

Update

Today I have felt a great need to restructure my life and change what I focus on and how I do things. Well, It's not really something new that just hit me today. I've felt it for a while. In an attempt to take a step up and not be complacent with where I am and what I have achieved, I purchased some books to help stimulate sections of my brain that haven't received much play lately. The books are Babbit, Utopia, A Tale of Two Cities (That's right, I've never read it), and The First Men in The Moon. When I go to work today, I want it to be different. I want to do things differently, find a better approach, get to know the people who enter my department, and really enjoy my time there. I won't allow it to be three wasted hours. I'm reminded of some Franz Ferdinand Lyrics:

I time every journey to bump into you, accidentally

I charm you and tell you of the boys I hate

All the girls I hate

All the words I hate

All the clothes I hate

How I'll never be anything I hate

You smile, mention something that you like

or How you'd have a happy life

if you did the things you like

I have no plans to make any dramatic changes in my life. I won't move to Russia, change my name, or join a boy band. I actually have no plans at all. I just want to wipe away everything I know about life and rediscover it. I tried this in the mission field in two different ways. When I started the mission I tried to forget American Culture and I just accepted Chile as my new reality and learned to love it. After a year, this new strange culture and missionary lifestyle became routine and unexciting. When I had the chance to train, I decided that I wanted to start over and forget everything I knew about the discussions and the routines of missionary work. Since my new companion wasn't tainted by unnecessary traditions, together we could reinvent how the work was done and find new ways to be successful. It felt great. I want that feeling again.