Thursday, March 13, 2008

Schadenfreude


Do we wish to be known as the one generation that never rose to a revolutionary battle cry? Shall we be doomed to never ending complacency? Will we allow everything we love to be stripped from us and desecrated in the streets of capitalism? Now is our chance to define ourselves and restore common sense and morals to this wayward world of Hillary Clintons and writer's strikes. 5 Buck Pizza is no longer the home of free toppings. It's the home of deceit! It's the home of fraud! It's the home of broken dreams! The American Dream! Shattered at the feet of bloated corporate America. We must make an example of 5 Buck Pizza. I'm calling for a boycott. I want everyone to call in or enter the lair of one of these hack shacks to order a pizza. Then as a protest you must cancel your order upon hearing the audacious price of 6.99! We won't stand for this oppression. Soon the taste of overpriced pizza will be replaced with the taste of Schadenfreude; the taste of the downfall of 5 Buck Pizza.
Please leave a comment in support of the boycott. Thank you.

12 comments:

Cannon said...

I hate Seven Buck Pizza. FREA-A-A-A-AK.

Janae Bailey said...

Let's get them! Boycott! We'll run them out!

Becca said...

Bill Pullman in Independence Day has NOTHING on you.

jacob said...

Did you ask them why they are raising their prices? Its likely that they aren't greedy, but that they have to in order to stay in business.

Personally, I think building a price into the name of your store is stupid. With inflation, you either have to be making less and less, change the name of your store frequently, or sell cheaper and cheaper goods.

When Blackjack pizza rose the price of their one topping pizza from $5 to $6 about a year ago, I asked them why. They said they got all their supplies from Colorado, and recently (back then) started getting charged more for their supplies because gas prices climbed.

But boycott till your heart is content. Without all the pizza grease through your arteries, boycotting might keep your heart content for a long time.

Thats whats great about a free market... being able to vote with your dollar!

Bret & Carrie said...

Down with 5 buck pizza!

Katy said...

I will devote my time, my energy, and, if need be, my very life's blood to this worthy endeavor.

Council Bluffs said...

Have you called Jack Bauer yet?

karenanderson said...

I promise to boycott, and with fervor! (Does it count long distance?!)

Alan said...

Actually, Jacob, I think it IS because of greed.

Honk's lowered their price(s?) to a dollar, down from a dollar five. Why? Is it because gas prices went down? Shipping costs went down and they don't want all that extra money? NO! It's because they're NICE.

7 suck pizza is seriously the most terrible place on earth. Forget a boycott. I declare a mancott!

Kyle said...

Mmmmmm....Manicotti....

Lillian said...

Kyle... STICK IT TO THE MAN!!!

...amazing German reference, by the way.

Lauren said...

Thank you for reminding me of the word Schadenfreude. I will now proceed to use it in casual conversation.