Wednesday, April 11, 2007

I'm on to you.

I'm on to you life. I know you've been plotting against me. I know you want to destroy me. I bet you thought that I was at the breaking point. You thought just one more disappointment, just one more rejection, just one more well placed dagger would be the final blow. Well you thought wrong you bony pitcher of fickle dust! You underestimated me you amoeba infested maggot spleen, just like too many people have, just like I have! That's right. I'm not giving up! I will not be defeated you crooked concoction of raw old diapers. Your best effort is a raw toothache you mediocre box of stupid lent! I will defeat YOU. YOU will fail. You pushed me too far you dumb vase of stupid pimples. I'm on to you and I'm spreading the word. Soon everyone will know what an unemployed butt full of gross galoshes you are. All I have to say is BRING IT ON! Give me your best shot. I'll take everything you can dish out you fermented flatulence! You egg sucking, blubber loving COMMUNIST! You ugly barrel of satanic advertisements! You unsuccessful old box of silly vulture droppings! You less than pleasant moldy pumpkin! You sub-par fart knocker! You infested pit of blundering ugliness!
You've unleashed your own worst nightmare. I'm coming after you. Prepare for war, buttmunch.


Life said...

Dear Kyle,
How did you catch on? I thought I was so sneaky attacking you from within... the last place you would look. I pushed you, I tortured you, I wanted you to break. I will give you the war you want. I know your ever weakness, I know exactly where to hit. You are trying to act strong, but I know that inside you are as weak as a little girl without legs in front of a school bus--helpless. I'll see you around, and I'll be there, even if you do hate me.

Lillian said...

Back off, Life. You have no idea what you're getting into... my man Kyle, here, he's a lot tougher than he looks. You know, like Clark Kent not in uniform. Because that's who he is- Superman. And you have no chance. Nope. None, whatsoever.

Kyle said...

Do your worst life. You haven't even seen me angry yet.

Whitney said...

those are some AWEsome insults!