Preposterous

I have a lot of respect and even admiration for the guest blogger of a few days ago, but I just can't let this slide. Monkeys do not peel bananas from the bottom. This photograph proves that a monkey would prefer smoking a banana like a pipe or using it as a spit-wad shooter over peeling it from the bottom. I will admit that maybe at one time monkeys peeled bananas from the bottom, but thanks to evolution and natural selection all of those monkeys either died young or just never had the chance to reproduce. Once monkeys began to peel from the top all the beautiful girl monkeys just couldn't resist them. Then all the bottom-peelers were left without anyone to take to the jungle parties. It got to the point where male bottom-peelers were so undesirable that even female bottom-peelers wouldn't have anything to do with them. The new and improved race of top peelers spread over the earth quicker than you can say Chiquita. If a monkey were to peel a banana from the bottom today, it would be equivalent to me walking around campus with a powdered wig. The only members of the powdered wig race are isolated in British parliament where they will soon die off. If I began to where a powdered wig I would either be trampled upon until I was dead, live a long lonely life and die single, or be exiled to Great Britain with all the other Powdered-wig-people.