Anticipation Proclomation

I'm ready to get out of Provo. San Francisco, here I come! Go Lincoln!

"That on the twentieth day of November, in the year of our Lord two thousand and seven, all persons held as students within any University or designated part of a University, the people whereof shall then be in rebellion against the United States, shall be then, thenceforward, and forever free; and the Executive Government of the United States, including the military and naval authority thereof, will recognize and maintain the freedom of such persons, and will do no act or acts to repress such persons, or any of them, in any efforts they may make for their actual freedom."

Last night was unprecedented. All five of my roommates and I went on a group date. Even when there were only four of us in Moon Apartments, we never did that. It was fun. Oh and just in case you've seen Becca's blog, I'm not abusive. I just lose my temper sometimes. :). Becca and I made some Kitchen Chaciatore (chicken cacciatore) and polenta. It was absolutely divine. I'm impressed with the success we've been having in the kitchen lately. It must be the new oven.

Today in church I saw that we would be ending a little early, so I told Becca she would have to give her testimony to use up the extra time. I kept telling her the bishop would ask her to do it, but she didn't believe me. Sure enough, her name was called to go to the pulpit and give her testimony. She did a really good job. In that situation I probably would have just said something quick and impersonal to get it over with, but Becca actually shared her thoughts and feelings. It was cool. I should have gotten up right after her to say, "hands off brethren, she's already taken." Then I gave my lesson. I didn't do a very good job in my opinion, but at least I was more prepared than usual. Now it's time for a day of home teaching and studying for my evolution exam. Peace.

A Pound of Flesh

Boy did we get fancy last night. I'm pretty sure it was even fancier than the Olive Garden- Italian Restaurant. Becca was craving steak, so we did a quick run to Smiths and with the help of her mom, she picked out a beautiful New York Strip Tenderloin and some seasoning. Then we came home and cooked the steak and Becca made some of her world renowned couscous. It was really good. Another item that complemented the steak very nicely (other than the couscous, Martinelli's, candle, and company) was the cleanliness. We could have easily made a huge mess out of the kitchen with liquified beef fat covering every dish and utensil, but instead we cleaned as we went and had no problem leaving the kitchen cleaner than we found it.

Relaxation

I'm done with work! No more Dillards! My room is clean, I've done some studying and now I have time to take a seat and jot down a few of my thoughts. Saturday morning I took the GRE subject test for Biochemistry. I think I would have done just as well had I not even read the questions, but I'm still glad I took it. The rest of the weekend was great. Becca and I got to hang out and spend some good quality time together. Now we're back in school mode, but at least I don't have to work.

I am developing the habit of walking behind people on campus and listening to their phone conversations*. Sometimes what people say makes me want to quit the human race and join some other species that isn't so obnoxious and lame, but other times my faith in humanity is restored. Today I overheard a girl talking about her volunteer experience with autistic children. You could tell her concern and love for them was sincere. She had ideas about changes that could help them. For example, there was a kid in the class that didn't speak English. When a teacher was reading a story, he would perk up and get excited whenever he understood a word. "Elephante! Elephante!" he would say. No one there spoke Spanish, so there was no way he could get the same help as the other children.

*I am a creepy person, but at least I'm not menacing.

Not Angry!

I cooled off pretty soon after posting last time. I knew I would. Our manager came back, passed us, and had a change of heart and didn't charge us any money. For a while now I've been meaning to post about our trip to the Olive Garden-Italian Restaurant. That's right an Italian RESTAURANT. Not an Italian diner, or hot dog stand, but a restaurant. That's high class. Becca, Katy, and I were in the mood for something fancy so we pulled all the stops and went straight for the the big time. I felt really under dressed and didn't know if they would even let us in. Well, we got there and got a high tech flashing/vibrating device to tell us when our table would be ready. We took the flasher and went to visit some of the charming shops in the area (an LDS bookstore and a dollar store). Then, after some confusion over the availability of our table, we were seated and ordered some delicious food. I had baked ziti, Becca had spaghetti with meat sauce, and Katy had the chicken alfredo. One thing I love about the Olive Garden-Italian Restaurant is that the waitresses are so eager to put freshly grated Parmesan cheese on everything that is on or near the table. "Would you like some freshly grated Parmesan on your salad? On your ziti? In your water? Straight into your mouth? In your lap? In your girlfriend's hair?" MMMM....I loooooove Parmesan. I also like Soda a la italiana. Becca let me try some of hers. We all had a wonderful evening and hope to be lucky enough to return to the Olive Garden-Italian Restaurant some time in the future.

ANGRY!

Nothing makes me more outraged than cleaning checks. Last night I called in at work and put off some much needed studying so that I could clean. Then, this morning the idiotic manager came and FAILED us! She's even trying to charge us 20 bucks for a recheck! That uninteresting concoction of moldy diapers isn't getting any of my money! Alan just made the point that she'll just take it out of my deposit, but we can just do more damage to this place than the deposit is worth! One hundred dollars is well worth the satisfaction of breaking all the windows and tearing up the carpet only to replace it with cottage cheese and strips of raw bacon. I can feel the rancor overtaking me. I should be studying for the quiz I have today, but I can't. I'm too mad. I want revenge. A cleaning check is a cleaning check, not an exam. We aren't professional cleaners in custodial school. The check should be- "Was this cleaned?" It shouldn't be, "was this cleaned perfectly so that it looks like no one has actually ever lived here?" I want out of here. I'm sick of BYU approved housing. I'll take living in an apartment complex filled with prostitutes and drug dealers over Park Place management any day.

Hopefully I'll cool off soon. All my ideas for revenge will only make things worse. If I make their life more difficult, they'll get mad and be even bigger jerks. It just sucks that they are by nature bigger jerks than I am and no matter how evil I try to be they will always be one step ahead. I just need to forget about it. In less than a year I'll be done with this stage of my life and I'll have a fun new set of problems to deal with. I can't wait.

I just want to post my Comic

I went to a seminar hosted by the College of Life Sciences in the morning. A number of happenings at the seminar caused me to reflect.

1. It was crowded.
2. Freshman were obnoxious.
3. The speaker and I were on the same wavelength.
4. I sat by an acquaintance who became a friend.
   

I've been craving the real world. I want to get back into real research that has an impact. I'm sick of getting an assignment done just so that some TA can skim through it and slap on a grade. But why can't I do meaningful things now? How can I make my assignments meaningful? What is it I want to accomplish and how can each class bring me closer to that goal? Am I currently focusing too much or too little on my grades? What's going to matter in the long run? Will my GPA come back to haunt me? What contributions to my field can I make now? These are just a few of the thousands of questions that run around in my head all day. One day I need to set aside some time to talk myself through them and come up with ideas and solutions.

El Jorobado de BYU

I think Becca may have supernatural powers that allow her written fantasies to become reality. Last night she wrote a story about a hunchback whose hump was really a sack of treasure. Then, this morning as I was walking to the library, a hideous creature passed on my left side. He was wearing a brown hooded cloak that covered a large deformed hump. I quickened my pace to get a better look and upon closer examination I saw that the hump was actually a backpack. I can only assume that it was filled with gold and saffron.

Becca just called me! She's coming home from class! I shall ask her to pen a story about me getting all A's this semester and gaining 20 pounds of muscle. And then she can write one about me winning the lottery!

The Naive T-Cell of Bel-Air

Immunology was great today! Our skit went well, and the room broke out into enthusiastic applause after I performed my song. I'm pleased that it went well, and that it's over so I don't have to think about it anymore. Working 20 hours a week and taking 18 credits is killing me. What keeps me kickin' is always having something to look forward to. For example, Becca's birthday and the opera, quitting my job, and maybe going to California. And what am I going to be for Halloween? I know Becca liked my costume last year, but I've gotta be original. Hmmm... the TV is giving me some good ideas. I could be a diabetic, a mermaid, Whoopie Goldberg, a nun, Tom Hanks, or an orange. Nahh, those don't sound so great. I'll have to keep brainstorming. I wish I had more time to write, but I just plain don't. Maybe next month will be better.

Too hot, Too cold

My chili is too hot and my milk is frozen, so that means I have some time to write in my blog as my food cools/thaws. Quite a bit has happened since I last wrote. The most magnificent event is that me and Becca started dating almost three weeks ago. Talking to her on the phone all summer was great, but having her close by is even better. An added bonus is that she has an awesome family. I also quit my job at the Field house and started school. I have a feeling that all my classes this semester are going to eat my whole head. It's going to take a lot of work if I hope to graduate this April. Our apartment looks awful, but it's apparently not bad enough for us to do anything about it. Too many other things take precedence. Ok, times up. That chili is looking PRETTY good.

Star Struck

I met Gary Freaking Coleman at Dillards! He came in to have a suit tailored and I had to turn him away because he wat too short. No, actually I had to turn him away because he bought the suit at JC Penny's and not Dillards. He seemed really irritated, but the more angry he got the cuter he looked. I wanted to pinch his cheeks the whole time I was talking to him. "Whachu talkin' 'bout Willis?!"

In other news, it appears that the legendary F6 is almost dead. Alan and I are the only remaining original members. Council Bluffs is off trying to make someone president and Gavin is off playing basketball in France and then off to live somewhere else. It makes me really sad that people move on and we are forced to begin new chapters of our lives. Of course, new chapters mean new excitement and new joy. Maybe F6 will live on in a different way, but things will never be quite the same. We've had a lot of fun and a lot of laughs no matter how boring and repetitive we are and always will be. Here's to F6!

Oh and here is the latest episode of Square the Mall.

Fridge

Please click this. It will hurt your eyeballs if you try to read it like this.

Square the Mall

I wish I had some amazing stories to tell. It's just been work for me the past couple of months. I went on a really great date the other day with a wonderful girl, but I don't think she liked me because the next day she left the state. :( I hope she doesn't really expect a little bit of distance to keep me away. I'm much too persistant. Just ask Chazlyn. Well, I was thrilled by Alan's comic on his blog, so he inspired me to write my own. I know I'm a copy cat. Enjoy!

Debt Free!

I did it! I'm 100% debt free. Life is good.

Accidents Happen

I broke a bone in two places today. It's okay though because it wasn't MY bone. I broke someone else's jaw. It's okay though because the person has been dead a long time. You see, I was buffing the floor of the cadaver room and I accidentally hit a table. There was a skull on the table and it fell off and shattered the mandible. I don't know what will happen to me now. My first instinct was to cover it up and deny everything, but then this weird adult like conscience took over and made me tell my boss what happened. If anyone has a skull they want to sell me for 10 bucks, I'll be glad to take it off their hands (or neck). In other news, I saw an owl for the first time today. I was locking up the tennis courts and I saw a bird wearing a funny hat. Then when I got closer I realized it was a bird with a big head. But then I got even closer and saw that it wasn't a bird at all; it was an owl! THEN, I realized that owls ARE birds! It was awesome. I tried taking a picture, but my new phone doesn't have a flash. I tried to talk to it but it wouldn't talk back. It was within reach, so I tried to grab it, but it flew away.

I kind of feel bad about crushing a human skull. I'm going to have some interesting dreams tonight.

Interdependence Day

DAY OFF. That's what I have. Enjoy it while it lasts. Enjoy how? The question at hand. Fireworks? Maybe. Watermelon off of bridge? Hopefully. Sit at home and read? Maybe. Bad? No. Relaxing? Yes. Too much work. Not enough play. Lost desire to play? Not bored enough. Excitement follows long periods of boredom. No good movies. Nowhere. Seen them all. Nothing good. Girls. Lost another point today. Sub-zero+friends=good. Mythbusters+couch=good. Need Five buck pizza. Big time. Nothing but the best. Delicious. Del Taco? Been a long time. Missed. Respected. Understood. Councilina's engagement pictures= cute. funny. sweet.

Weekend Retreat

Inventory was best defined by a girl in the Juniors department. She said, "it's the process of staying up all night scanning clothes with no music or socializing of any kind." Luckily it didn't last all night. We got out around 2:45, so I had plenty of time to sleep before church this morning. Even though it wasn't that bad, I'm not looking forwarded to doing it again tonight. I just hope I don't get stuck with the underwear. If I do, I'm going to sing "I left my undies down under" while I scan. I filed a complaint against a co-worker this past week, but I don't know exactly what is going to come from it. I hope they don't tell him that I'm the one who complained. That would stink royally.

Just a couple more months until I'm free from working my rear end to a pulp every day. Yipee!

I'm going to write in my blog.

Fabulous....A Poem by Kyle

Overanxious whistle cues,
lighting always naked hues,
Wishing, falling, letting shoes,
Drinking overcrowded booze.

Fly around me Mr. Brown,
Tie me on the rhino frown,
Knock me, Knock me, Knock me down,
Lactose intolerant Purple Town.

October rolls, or does it not?
Selling wigs, you think you're hot?
Doing jigs, you want some pot?
Cereal bowls, they all you've got?

Ligaments and upholstery,
Climbing up the taco tree,
Handing down for all to see,
It's so great when it is free.

This poem reveals a lot about my inner soul and deepest thoughts......NOT. It might make a good song. Life has been mostly work for me. I had some time off today which is nice, but soon I'll be at Dillards again. Tomorrow will be great. No work at all. Just church and relaxation. I wish I had some really good stories, but nothing is really coming to mind. I'll try to keep better track of my life happenings this week.

Hmmm... I just read my poem again, and I thought I was randomly choosing words and phrases, but I bet I know why I thought of each one, For example, climbing up the taco tree is probably a mixture between del taco Tuesday and Cannon's job.

1,2,3,4,5,6

It feels so good to finally feel like my life is in order again. I have a drivable car, I have two jobs, I got a raise, and my academic advisor said I shouldn't have any problem graduating in April. Yesterday I got a fortune cookie that told me "You will soon have the opportunity to improve your finances". It couldn't have been more right. Dillards hired me back and is willing to work with my hours so that I can work full time there and at the Smith Field House. Then I went to the Field House and was determined to demand a raise. Well, when I was about to do it, my boss looked up at me from where he was sitting and said, "Kyle, I'm gonna go ahead and make you Lead Student, and give you the raise that goes along with the position." BAM! I didn't even have to say anything. That fortune cookie knows it's stuff. I don't even feel like I'm sacrificing that much as far as my social life goes. What do I do between the hours of 9am and 4pm anyway? Nothing. So it shouldn't be much different from my previous situation. One difference will be working Saturdays. That's a bummer, but it will mean more freedom and availability for social activities in the fall. Oh...just a word of caution to Life....I haven't forgotten how you've treated me in the past...I'm not letting my guard down...I won't fall for your tricks!

Here is my darling niece Sydney waiting to go out on the boat.
Braxton and I hiked to a rock formation called the Lighthouse. I stopped to pick some flowers on the way back.
Here I am at the Lighthouse.
Here I am trying to climb just high enough to make it look like I know something about rock climbing.

MMMMMM.... The cake that Braxton and Kyle built.

The Greenwald Curse

Jared left and suddenly everyone is being injured. What's up with that? So far nothing major has happened to me, but I live in constant fear. Who will be next? What will happen? How do we break the curse?

Here are some pictures of me with different styles of facial hair. Tell me what you think and vote for your favourite!

A B

C D

E F

G

The Lone Star State

My sister's wedding was a success. The florist never showed up, but it turned out okay because one of my sister's friends was able to quickly make up some bouquets right before the wedding, and my mom went to the florist on Monday and chewed them out royaly. The wedding made me really appreciate modestly dressed women. The brides maids and everyone in the wedding party looked great. Some of the dresses were immodest by LDS standards, but they weren't that bad. Some other people at the wedding, however, were quite scantily clad. I'm glad I go to BYU where girls know how to dress. The food was amazing, and there was lots of it...mmmmmm. I get hungry again just thinking about it. The past few days, Braxton and I have just been hanging out. We don't have anything to do, so we just sit and talk about the fact that we should be doing something. It's great. It reminds me of old times. I would post some pictures, but I forgot that little cable thing I need to hook my camera up to a computer.

Whine, Wine

I hate it when people say wine is good for you. Wrong. It's not. It really isn't. That's ridiculous and true nutritionists don't even say that. What has been said is that red wine is the most "heart friendly" alcoholic beverage. It's like saying, "of all the firearms in production, it is safest to shoot yourself in the face with a BB gun." The antioxidants in red wine come from grape skin. Just eat some grapes. Alcohol isn't good for you; not even in moderation( I say this because any positive effects are outweighed by the negative). UV light induces the production of Vitamin D in the skin, so why do people wear sunscreen? We want Vitamin D don't we? Why would we ever want to block the production of Vitamin D? Oh yeah, skin cancer. Alcohol weakens the heart, increases blood pressure, and inhibits the production of both red and white blood cells. Just eat some grapes. If you drink wine because you like it....fine. Just don't claim you do it because it's good for you. And wear sunscreen. And drink Vitamin D fortified milk. That's Dr. Kyle's advice.

Oh... and if you read somewhere online that alcohol cures all disease and is the world's only salvation...believe what you want, but don't post any arguments on this page. I haven't performed my own studies, so it would be pointless for me to get into a debate about it. I'm just sharing what I have read, and what makes sense to me.

Me and Alan. 'nuff said.

C-Hicaaaag-O

Abby at the top of the John Hancock building. Pretty tall.

Our drinks we ordered from the bar. Don't worry. I got a non-alcoholic strawberry girly drink.

Abby in the Subway. I pulled a Braxton. Right after I took this picture some security person told me I wasn't allowed to take pictures in the subway. Lame.

Me trying really hard to look cool in order to gain acceptance into the facial hair community.

C-Hicaaaag-O

The famous giant silver chicago bean.

Our reflection in the bean.

Star Wars mailbox. I took this one for Jared.

Some buildings. Wooow , tall.

C-Hicaaaaag-O

Abby and her boyfriend Ryan in their apartment.

Me walking on water while an animated tower spits on me.

Abby avoiding the spit skillfully.

Me and Abby with a view of some buildings.

It's about time.

I've regained my freedom and independence. My darling little Intrepid is up and running once again. She just needed a little time to heal after everything I've put her through. Tomorrow at 5 a.m. I get to drive to the airport and fly to CHICAGO! All my ideas are becoming a reality. That fortune cookie knew what it was talking about. I hope there aren't any quail in Chicago. I can handle pigeons, but if I see a quail I'm going to freak out.

It's over.

I just took my last final. Well, I got an A in three of my classes. I don't think I will get an A in physics though. The first half of the class I had a 103% and then I failed the second half of the class and got a C on the final. Oops. I guess that's what I deserve for not going to class, never going to a review, and not even sitting down to talk with a TA even though my very own roommate is one. I'm already signed up to retake Organic Chemistry. History is a wild card. I'm just glad it's over. I like dogs AND cats. The secret's out.

Prom 2002

 
 
 
 

Here are some pictures of Jessica and me getting ready to go to prom. There is also a picture of two people I don't know at prom. I don't even remember taking the picture. It looks like the guy doesn't want me to be taking the picture. That must not be his girlfriend

This video was probably made by a punk. I can tell because of the emphasis put on being an individual and different from everyone else. I don't really think most punks are just "being themselves". They want to fit in with fellow punks just like anyone else wants to fit in with their own groups. Anyway, I like it because it's a nice gesture. He didn't deserve to die.

Punks

I was looking up pictures of Stanley Marsh and I found this one of him and Brian Deneke at Cadillac Ranch. Brian Deneke is a well known name in the Amarillo punk community. He's like a martyr. I was in the eighth grade when one morning I came out of my room and heard my sister crying in the bathroom. I found out later that she was listening to the radio while taking a shower when they announced that Brian had been murdered the previous night. A fight had broken out between some punks and jocks in a parking lot. I think it was a Denny's or Ihop parking lot. From what I remember hearing, Brian was knocked unconscious with a bat and then Dustin Camp, a jock from Amarillo High, ran over Brian with his car. Dustin's famous line before running over Brian was, "I'm a Ninja in my Caddy" referring to the fact that his fighting was best done behind the wheel of his car. What's most sickening about the event was the trial of Dustin Camp. The defense's main case was that Brian Deneke was a menace to society and deserved to die. He tried to make it sound like Dustin did Amarillo a favor by killing Brian. So with no question of the fact that he killed Brian, and with testimony from his friends showing that Dustin intentionally ran him over, he got probation. Dustin Camp intentionally murdered Brian Deneke and got probation. Punk's weren't the only ones outraged. 20/20 did a story on it and came to Amarillo. A lot of people I knew were interviewed for it. I wish I had a recording. oh well. When Dustin got probation I was out eating some pizza with friends as they planned revenge. At first I thought they were just making empty threats, but then I realized some of them were serious. They didn't end up doing it though. I bet they realized that "upstanding young football players" get probation for murder, but punks would be hanged. The years that followed there would be Brian Deneke memorial concerts annualy. I had friends that worked for Stanley Marsh, but the only time I've ever talked to him was at one of these concerts. He was good friends with Brian and said that hearing that Brian had been killed was the saddest day of his life. Brian wasn't a bad kid. He was a punk. He dressed differently and listened to different music. Apparently that made him a menace to society. Apparently he didn't deserve to live. I feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it. Luckily Dustin was an idiot. He violated his probation by drinking under-age. He finally went to jail......for drinking beer. Not for murder. For violating his probation.

News Tuff

There's some new stuff going on. My ex-brother-in-law's trial was supposed to be Monday, but luckily he plea bargained, so my little niece didn't have to testify. He ended up getting twenty years with a possibility of parole at ten years. That's pretty good news. In other news, I'm going to Chicago in a couple weeks. I found 50 dollar plane tickets and just couldn't pass up the chance to go visit Abby and see what Chicago is like. It looks like I'll be staying with Abby and her boyfriend while I'm there, but Abby will have to work most days so I'll be flying solo most of the time. I like going off by myself and exploring, so this should be fun. In other other news, Orange day was a lot of fun. The date went well, even though we were kind of rushed to get everything ready for it. Saturday night was the pinnacle of Orange day when Amanda, Cannon, and I got a baseball bat and smashed oranges.

I'm on to you.

I'm on to you life. I know you've been plotting against me. I know you want to destroy me. I bet you thought that I was at the breaking point. You thought just one more disappointment, just one more rejection, just one more well placed dagger would be the final blow. Well you thought wrong you bony pitcher of fickle dust! You underestimated me you amoeba infested maggot spleen, just like too many people have, just like I have! That's right. I'm not giving up! I will not be defeated you crooked concoction of raw old diapers. Your best effort is a raw toothache you mediocre box of stupid lent! I will defeat YOU. YOU will fail. You pushed me too far you dumb vase of stupid pimples. I'm on to you and I'm spreading the word. Soon everyone will know what an unemployed butt full of gross galoshes you are. All I have to say is BRING IT ON! Give me your best shot. I'll take everything you can dish out you fermented flatulence! You egg sucking, blubber loving COMMUNIST! You ugly barrel of satanic advertisements! You unsuccessful old box of silly vulture droppings! You less than pleasant moldy pumpkin! You sub-par fart knocker! You infested pit of blundering ugliness!
You've unleashed your own worst nightmare. I'm coming after you. Prepare for war, buttmunch.

Can't Sleep

Well, here I am at 5:19 am posting on my blog. My mind is racing and I can't stop it from thinking unpleasant thoughts, and lots of them. Other than that, this weekend has been really great. It has probably been the most social weekend I've had in a very long time. Friday night was fun with Amanda, HaaWWwhhhit, Nikki, and Megan after work. I don't know how much detail I'm supposed to give about it, but it was fun. Then Saturday I slept in till ten and then got up and went to the ward BBQ where I ate my little heart out and then played ultimate croquet. I was on Alan's team. We used some pvc pipe as our mallet. Then we came home and set up for the Skittlebrow Jam. Not too many people showed up, but it wasn't meant to be a very large production anyway. Megan and Ashly from our freshman year came. It was great to show them around our apartment and not be ashamed of how it looks/smells. Then after cleaning up after the jam we went to Jenny Lynn's birthday party. I didn't know what to expect since I don't know the girls from that apartment too well, but I was pleasantly surprised. They're awesome. We had one metric ton o' fun. Then we went to five buck pizza to get some "real" food after all that Skittlebrow. After that I went to watch The Hudsucker Proxy with Kate and Jordyn. I love that movie so much that I have never just lent it to someone. I always end up watching it with them instead. It's beauty can be subtle at times, so I like to make sure everyone is paying attention and gets everything they can out of the viewing experience. I wish I could just go to sleep now. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty, thirty-one, thirty-two, thirty-three, thirty-four, thirty-five, thirty-six, thirty-seven, thirty-eight, thirty-nine, forty, forty-one, forty-two.......Counting Sheep isn't helping. Maybe I'll just explore the world of facebook and memorize all the names of my friends' friends.

No Rescue in Sight

Just to clear something up. I don't think not getting the internship makes me a loser. I think I didn't get the internship because I already was a loser. I know some winners, and I'm not one of them. They deserve to be winners though, and I probably deserve to be a loser.

I feel like I spent a long time on a sinking raft in the middle of the ocean. I spent my energy trying to fix the raft and make it to land, but it was futile. The raft finally sank completely and I was left stranded in the middle of the ocean. I was getting tired and swimming was becoming difficult, but I knew a rescue boat was coming so I kept on trying. But when the rescue boat came, it passed me by. It either didn't see me, or didn't think I was worth saving. So, now I'm treading water alone in the ocean. My head sinks under the water occasionally and I have to give a burst of energy to get myself back to the surface. No hope in sight. Nothing to look forward to. Despair.

The internship was my rescue boat. It was going to get me out of Provo where I could heal and regain my strength, but it passed me by. No hope in sight. Nothing to look forward to. Despair.

I know that I'm not the only person who has ever felt this way, but that knowledge doesn't take away any of the pain or make it any easier to swim. Since everyone has felt this way at some time, I expect everyone to know that it's not easy to snap out of it. I am hard on myself because there is no one else to be hard on. There's no one else to blame. It's my fault I ended up alone in the ocean on a raft with no safety gear or provisions. I just need another rescue boat. Maybe my backpacking trip with Braxton will bring me to shore, or maybe something completely unexpected will save me. Please understand that when I call myself a loser and I feel worthless and foolish it's only because I'm not thinking rationally. I've been at sea for a long time and it's hard for someone who is thinking irrationally to have enough rational thoughts to pull himself out of irrationality and back into rationality. Did that make any sense?

Typical

I have nothing. Well, that's not true. I have a blue can of soda that I painted today. I didn't get the internship in Iowa. Simple logic should have told me I wouldn't get it. Losers never get internships. Kyle is a loser. So, Kyle never gets internships. I just don't want to try anymore. Why bother? "If you want a vision of [Kyle's] future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever."(George Orwell, 1984)

Ripples in Time

When Alan picked up that name tag a year and a half ago, I doubt he had any idea how much it would impact our lives. I am now a Facebook friend with the legendary Kiley, the mystery girl, the sister of Chazlyn. For now it seems like this is as far as the name tag will ever take me, but you never know. The name tag is full of surprises. Maybe five years from now I'll find myself parachuting into the Amazon Jungle like Indiana Jones in search of an ancient artifact. And it will all be due to that magical name tag. When I'm 95 and on my death bed, after I've lived an amazing and adventurous life, after I've raised a family and played with my great-grand children, as I am writing down my life story for future posterity, will my memoirs be self-titled or shall they bear the name CHAZLYN?

The Dating Game

A Guy(Kyle) and his Roommate

R: How'd the date go?
G: If it weren't for one little thing I would marry her right now.
R: Wow. It went that well huh?
G: Yeah. She's absolutely gorgeous, fun, and intelligent, but not stuck up or anything. We hit it off great. It's probably the closest thing to love at first sight that I'll ever encounter. One interesting thing is that she couldn't ever remember my name.
R: What?
G: She called me, Lyle, Ryan, Miles, and I swear I think I heard her call me Steve at the end of the night.
R: Steve?
G: Steve. Or at least I think she said Steve. Maybe she said "See ya".
R: "Steve-uh"........"See ya". That's probably it. Man that's too bad. Did you correct her?
G: That's the weird thing. I never wanted to. It was intriguing. She listened to every word I said and seemed to like me, but just didn't know my name. I figured dates with girls who do know my name never turn out well, so I should try going out with a girl that doesn't.
R: So what was that "one thing" that wasn't good?
G: She failed the iceberg test.
R: Oh no
G: Yep. I went on and on about how it's amazing that only 10 percent of an iceberg is visible and the rest is under the water. I even suggested they should make it more public knowledge to prevent boating accidents. She just agreed with me and acted excited. I need a girl who's honest and doesn't just humor me.
R: Man, that sucks. Watcha gonna do?

A Girl and her Roommate

R: So.....How was it....?
G: Well...He was really cool and....I think I might love him, but there was one problem.
R: Wait just a second! Love?!? Tell me everything!
G: He's pretty good looking, and he made me feel great. It just felt right, you know. We just clicked. I've never felt like that before.
R: Congratulations!
G: He went on and on about icebergs. He was so passionate about it. The way he talked about icebergs made me excited about them. Of course I already know that thing about 90 percent of icebergs being under water, but it really is cool. He was excited, so I got excited.
R: So, What was the problem?
G: He failed the name test?
R: The what?
G: Well, I'm looking for a guy who isn't afraid to correct me. Of course, I don't want him to be mean or anything, but I don't want a "whipped" boyfriend. I want an assertive one who's not afraid to be honest. So, I called him by the wrong name all night.
R: You're weird.
G: I know. But he's weirder! He didn't say anything! I called him Lyle and stuff, but he wasn't saying anything, so at the end of the night I called him Steve and he still said nothing!
R: You called him Steve?
G: And he didn't correct me. Who is this guy?
R: What are you going to do if he asks you out again?

Guy and Girl in Unison

GG: I'll try the car door test.

Field House Fun

Gossip abounds in the Smith Field House. Luckily most of my circumstances are unknown to them, but I think lack of knowledge causes all the more gossip. Whenever I turn a corner and see two of my co-workers, I know they're talking about me. It may seem like paranoia, but I know it's true. Catherine has a crush on me, so planning and scheming is going on to hook us up. I know they don't actually think we would be a good couple. Everyone just wants something to do and this is the best idea they've come up with for entertainment. Yesterday I was approached by a girl who said, "You know Catherine is absolutely in love with you, don't you?" If she likes me, it's only because she doesn't know me. She's heard stories about me from other people at work, and thinks I'm mysterious and exciting. I'm not though, and she would realize it pretty quick. I can be a party pooper. I can be boring. There's really nothing mysterious about me at all. I'm just a regular dude with questionable taste in clothing. Maybe I should just come right out and warn her. It feels good to be liked by someone though. I bet if I just started dating her, I'd grow to like her. I'm sure there's more to her than meets the eye. There always is. But, as my feelings for her grew, her feelings for me would diminish. I'd discover that she's a really great girl, and she'd discover that I'm not what she expected. Then, it would be over, and work would be uncomfortable. I have no choice but to begin Operation: Make Kyle Completely Unattractive to Latin Girls.

A Tribute to an Amazing Cat

Some of you may not know, but Casey the Cat passed away some time ago. He's survived by his owner, Alan Broadbent. When you go to my blog you can see Casey's smiling face in the top right corner. Some of us knew him well and some only in passing, but he left a lasting impression in all our hearts. I met Casey during the summer last year. I was having a really hard day and found myself at his house to sleep for the night. When I entered the house Casey stopped, looked at me for a moment, and then walked away as if to say, " Brush yourself off and get on with your life. Tomorrow's another day and 7:00 is another hour. Don't let it go to waste!" This advice has served me well this past week especially. He was so wise, and caring. The last time I saw him was December last year. We had a talk that I'll never forget. I was worried about making some big decisions and I was confused about how to proceed. Casey told me, "I know this may not make you feel better now, but one day you'll understand. Even if your dreams don't come true and all your plans fail, it's only because that which goes beyond your dreams and that which you could have never planned for is waiting around the corner. Chin up! Do what you feel is right regardless of the outcome." I feel like I'm still waiting for the day to come when I understand his thoughtful words completely.

We all love you and miss you Casey. Thank you for being a good friend. No one will ever replace the special place we hold for you in our hearts.

Some This and That

I've played my fair share of truth or dare. I, along with almost everyone else, chose truth most of the time. However, on one occasion I was challenged with the most creative dare of my young life. It wasn't the typical running around in your underwear or kissing a girl in the group. I had to give a hug to Mrs. Wilson! She was my frightening 142-and-1/2-years-old-hunch-backed-third-grade-teacher. It was a great dare, because it lasted long after the game ended. Everyone was waiting for me to do it and when I did there was a huge celebration.

Today I wore my wig to meet Cook and his wife. Alan and I aren't quite sure if they knew it was a wig or not. I think they just thought I had woman hair. We rode in a Mustang convertible. Then Five-Buck-Pizza.

Tomorrow was cool. I went to church and got my home teaching done. Then I had to work on some physics homework. I was a little tired because I stayed up really late tonight. About four hours from now I went to Guitars Unplugged with Skuffs and his homedogs. I was hoping to meet some chicks, but I didn't have much luck. I would say that I have better luck next week, but two weeks from now I was in the same position. pupeirt

As I Await Destiny's Call

I was watching Alan play Zelda this morning. A large part of the game seems to be figuring out what the object of the game really is. If you're not on any particular mission you just walk around trying stuff out. "What'll happen if I pull this, or push this, or jump off this, or set this on fire." That reminds me of my life a little bit. The object of Zelda is to win the game obviously. The main object of life is to be exalted. There's a lot of stuff in between though. There's more to life than just waiting for the Celestial Kingdom train to come pick me up.

I don't plan much and most of the decisions I've made have been pretty random or impulsive. Not all, but most. I'm choosing my own adventure right now. "What'll happen if I go to BYU, major in Molecular Biology, eat some Marshmallow Matey's?" Maybe if I had stayed in Amarillo I would have fallen into drugs, crime and everything else my friends got into. But on the other hand maybe I would have started bringing my friends to church and introducing them to the gospel. Every decision made makes you lose some opportunities and gain some others. It's just important to make good use of your current situation, no matter what it is.

And then there's destiny. When you feel that what you've decided or what has happened is the best possible outcome. I like that feeling. That's when I really get excited.